He'd ridden the Honda over 50,000 miles before going to work for Mr. Thompson in Alaska, wrenching on small planes. He'd had one very serious relationship with a girl in British Columbia that ended badly after a year. He'd kept in touch with Mom and Dad. He didn't know why they never mentioned it to me.
One night, during my second glass of wine, while we were going through boxes of photos that Mom had evidently printed out to use in a scrapbooking project, I dared to ask him why he'd never kept in touch with me.
He was sitting across from me, sprawled out on the floor in faded jeans with ripped out knees and a concert T-shirt from a band I'd never heard of. Except for the shorter hair, he looked very much like the brother I remembered from our youth. He was drinking beer from a can and looking through another box of photos, mostly pictures of family camp outs during our high school years when I wanted to be anywhere but in the woods without a place to plug in my blow dryer and he wanted to live in that tent forever.
A hint of a smile played at the corner of his lips as he went through the pictures and then he looked up at me and shrugged. "I don't know, sis." He offered rather lamely, "I guess I just thought maybe it was the best thing, ya know?" The smile faded and he looked at me quizzically, as if asking me if he was right. A heaviness hung in the air between us, both of us refusing to acknowledge the reason he left.
Maybe he was right, maybe it had been best.
"You'll come to the wedding, won't you?" I suddenly needed a change of subject. I needed to remind him that I was all grown up and that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I needed to remind myself that I wasn't in love with him anymore. "It's in November, at that little place on Spruce Street-- the old house with the pond? Remember? The new owners have turned it into a really nice venue for weddings and stuff. We thought fall would be good, it'll be cooler and the leaves will look nice in the pictures. Plus, it'll be after the elections so Richard won't be so busy."
"Yeah. That sounds good." He smiled and the tension broke, "I can hang out for another month or two. I'd like to get to know Richard. See what kind of man it takes to win my sister's heart." It was meant to be a lighthearted jab, but it caught between us and hovered in the air.
We both knew what kind of man it took to win my heart.
***
I was still at work. Everyone had gone home at 5 but this report had to be filed before morning. The early fall sun was low on the other side of the building and the deep golden light reflected off the landscaped walkway outside my window. Everything was gold. It looked like a fantasy garden, I half expected to see fairies flitting through the trees.
Obviously, staring out my window was much more interesting than the report I had stayed late to finish.
Only 6 more weeks till the wedding. All the plans were in place and now we were just waiting for the elections. Richard had been busier than ever and was spending more time at the capital. I still didn't understand why he needed to be there so much when he didn't actually work at the state level yet. He explained that he sat in on a lot of meetings and was trying to make himself known so it would be easier to take a place at the table and not be treated as a newbie.
I shrugged. Politics. It all made my head spin. I didn't really care if Richard got elected or not. He'd still be working for the county if he didn't get the assembly position. I secretly hoped he didn't get elected. I would like him to be home more.
My cell phone rang, I looked at the caller ID. Erik. I answered the call.
"Kelsey? Where are you?" His voice sounded tight, agitated. Whatever it was, it sounded urgent.
"I'm still at the office. I have a report that needs to get filed before I can leave."
"I'm on my way."
That was it. He just ended the call, leaving me repeatedly
asking if everything was OK before I realized the line had gone dead.
Erik had stayed in town since the funeral. He planned to stay at least through the wedding before heading back up to Alaska.
He still flew back to the offices in North Dakota regularly. Apparently being a natural gas baron is a lot of work. He was very personally involved in his business still and didn't feel comfortable letting accountants and attorneys handle everything for him.
Richard had taken an immediate liking to Erik. I was glad to see the two most important men in my life getting along so well. Richard had introduced Erik to his circle of friends, mostly other local politicians and some of the more prominent business owners around town.
Erik hated the golfing but he liked the races. Anything with an engine immediately won Erik's heart. Richard liked to look at things with engines, but only from the outside. He didn't know a cam shaft from a mine shaft. It was amusing to watch them try to talk about cars. Richard was so obviously in over his head on the subject he would always just try to steer conversation back to something he could dominate.
I had to unlock the front door to let him in. Erik's face was set in a stern frown as he pushed through the doorway and past me into the reception area of the office building while I locked the door behind him.
It was obvious that he was mad about something. My heart clenched as he paced a few times before turning to face me. If he needed to see me so badly when he was this mad, it could only mean he was angry with me.
My mind raced to think of something I might have done but I came up empty. I didn't think I could take it if he left me again. I stared at him anxiously and waited.
"I have to talk to you, Kelse. I know this is going to be hard to hear but you need to hear it." His voice carried an ominous tone. It felt as though the temperature dropped 10 degrees and I had to glance outside again to make sure storm clouds hadn't rolled in. I prepared myself for bad news.