“I really can’t afford to, that pack of donuts is about all I could afford. Besides, I like them.” I smiled a fake smile, but she didn’t know me well enough to know that it wasn’t genuine. For a moment, I thought that maybe I should go out. After all, Monday was just around the corner. But I’d have to get up, have a shower, dry my hair, and then figure out which of my new clothes wouldn’t be labeled a skank within five minutes of walking out of the door.
“Alright, well, I gotta go. If you change your mind, then just gimme a call.”
Before I could reply, she had her bag in her hand and was out of the door. For a second, I was tempted to chase after her and tell her to give me a minute to get ready. But I really did need to focus on doing this all right. Okay, maybe donuts weren’t healthy, but my focus during the day was all about my studies. In the evenings, I’d find some time to play, but the daytime was all about school from now on.
I knew I needed to study, work hard, and maybe find a nice boyfriend that would understand my need to go slow. I wasn’t like most of the teenagers I knew, only curious about how many ways they could be fucked before they were too old to use what nature gave them. I wanted a more conservative life; the one my parents had dreamed about. Okay, maybe not completely conservative, I did plan to spend a lot of time at work once I’d reached that goal.
I put the thoughts away when my phone chimed and vibrated. Was it my mystery texter?
I rushed to it like a kid in the candy store who’d been given 60 seconds to grab as much candy as they could before the buzzer went off.
What are you wearing now?
Something naughty?
Something good?
Are you not talking to me now?
My eyes traced up and down my screen reading all the messages and like that greedy kid in the store, I decided to do what I was doing before I fell asleep and then Rachel woke me up. No, I didn’t go back to sleep, I started to reply to the messages with a big smile on my face. Maybe staying in, after all, wasn’t so bad seeing as I had a little company, even if I didn’t know their name.
Chapter Eight
Celia
It was a week later, and I couldn’t hide the grin on my face as I texted my mystery text
er back. I’d been to class, done my day’s work and now it was my free time and I was spending it just the way I wanted to.
I felt dirty and naughty, but oh, so nice, all at the same time. No more was I being the good little girl hiding behind her books and study sessions. I was showing what was really in my mind and I loved it.
I thought about all the things that I wanted a guy to do me. I thought about all the things that I wanted to do to him. Mainly, I would give him the freedom to make me feel like the woman I wanted to be, more than anything else sometimes.
I started to feel my body respond as I pressed the send button. I knew the reaction that I would get from sending such a message and it excited me.
You’re making me really hard right now.
I wrote back with no hesitation… Good!
Then I waited, feeling my legs slide up and down the bed as I started to imagine him, touching me in all the places I’d always hidden. I decided that it must be a man on the other side of the line, as he told me in one of his messages that he was hard.
You’re such a dirty girl, aren’t you?
I giggled as I wrote back. You have no idea how dirty.
Do you want to show me?
Send me a pic.
I gasped at the idea of taking a naughty picture, but then the idea of a guy out there having my photo on his phone, made me think otherwise.
I wanted to do it but then I didn’t want to do it either. I sat up as I started to break into a cold sweat. This wasn’t how I’d pictured life at NYU.
Going away to school wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. If anything, it was the complete opposite. I felt lonely. Something that I’d never felt back home.
Sure, I didn’t have friends back there. I’d had one once, but as soon as she became popular, I became a second thought. But I’d had my Nan and Mom to keep me company back there. The only person keeping me company now was the secret man on the other end of the phone. And that wasn’t even for sure, it might not even be a man on the other end of the line. I didn’t know, did I?
And that made me think of something.
I was just about to type something else when the door swung open. Like a sinner in church, my face turned bright red and I knew I had a guilty look on my face. Mom always said that I wasn’t good at hiding my emotions which always felt like another weakness added to the list.
“What gives, roomie? On the phone again?”
Rachel spoke to me with that tone. The kind that told me she wanted in on the secret. I shook my head, “No, was just sending a message.”
Which meant that I was on the phone. Not a good liar at all, then.
She groaned and smiled at me. I felt as if she knew my secret already, and I hadn’t even told her. But then she spoke, and I knew my secret was safe.
“You need to get out and socialize, girl. I mean, this isn’t high school, and you could make friends if you tried.”
I sighed thinking about the idea of having more friends. I’d spent the entire first week of the semester running to and from, finding books, finding websites, making a calendar for my assignments and my job. I’d had to start work early, because of my own screwup and that added to all the classwork that had suddenly piled on top of us made me want to just cry. I’d spent most of the day just trying to stay above water, and at night, all I wanted to do was lie in bed and talk to my mystery guy. I didn’t need more friends. I needed another me to keep up with it all!