Along with his inspiration for my future career, he left my mom a life insurance settlement that allowed us to build a nice house in an upscale neighborhood. His earnings put us through private school, then through college. We were never rich kids, but we were financially secure. I told myself that I would make sure to do the same things for my future kids. I know my mom had to work hard to keep up the lifestyle, but careful planning and saving kept us afloat.
I knew my mom was still broken up about his death years later. I’d catch her looking at old photographs and crying. The idea of her dating someone seemed weird to me, but that was because no one wanted to think of their parents as people with those kinds of needs. But, once I grew up and put the idea of my mom kissing another guy out of my head, I encouraged her to get back out there.
She had casually dated a few men, but things never really developed from it. I didn’t know if it was from lack of options or if the memory of my dad lingered too close in her mind. I had never had a serious relationship, so I didn’t know what it was like to lose a life partner. I felt especially guilty after I left for college. She was in that house all alone. She had lots of friends in town, but I knew that it wasn’t enough to dull the sting of being home alone.
“So, tell me about the mystery man,” I said. “I want to hear everything.”
“Well, he used to be from Hazelwood. I didn’t know him very well back when you guys were kids, but I remember seeing him around. He has kids, too, but they’re a bit older. He’s probably about five years older than me, but you would never know. He’s pretty active, so he’s in good shape.”
“What does he do?”
“He’s retired now. He used to be a doctor, well I guess he still carries the title, but he no longer practices. You guys can talk about it when you meet him. His name is Winston. I really think you’re going to like him.”
“I’m sure I will. If you like him, I’ll like him. So, are things serious between you two?”
“Goodness, I don’t know. Maybe!”
“Really?” I gushed. “How long have you been seeing each other?”
“Oh, maybe about a month or so.”
“Over a month!” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I was worried about what you would think. I didn’t want to make any grand announcements if it was just going to fizzle out. But, after my friend set me up with him, we really hit it off. We’ve gone out every weekend since our first date, and we talk on the phone almost every night.”
“Wow, Mom, that’s awesome,” I replied. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks, Sweetie. Hopefully we can all get together soon. Enough about me—what are you up to this week? You sounded stressed when you answered.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. One of the senior doctors gave me a hard time the other day and it’s got me rattled.”
“I’m sorry. Do you want me to come over and have a talking to him? You know I used to do that when you guys were in grade school.”
“I wish,” I said dryly. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just hoping to secure the field I want, that’s all.”
It wasn’t often that I lied to my mom, but it didn’t seem right to tell her the whole story. First of all, she wouldn’t like to hear that I went on a date with my teaching doctor. Second of all, she would be pissed that a guy in power would try to take advantage of me. Then, I would feel even more foolish for falling for it. She always told me that I needed to be more confident in myself, yet here I was, devastated that Damon only wanted to use me.
“You’ll be finished with your residency before you know it,” my mom said. “What do you want for a gift?”
I groaned. “A surgical internship at CUIMC.”
“I bet Winston knows someone who could help you. Why don’t I ask him the next time I see him?”
“No, Mom,” I moaned. “I don’t want to ask favors from your new boyfriend. I haven’t even met the guy yet.”
“Are you sure? He’s a very generous guy.”
“Maybe we can talk when I meet him in person. I don’t want him sticking his neck out for someone he’s never met.”
“Okay, okay. How about a nice dinner? I think your brother has a rotation to do that week, but I’d love to spend some time with you before you get busy.”
“That would be nice. When was the last time you were in the city?”
My mom paused for a minute. I thought the phone call was cut off.
“Last weekend,” she said sheepishly.
“What? You came to the city and didn’t even think to call me?” I wasn’t mad, because I had been busy, but I was surprised.
“It was a last minute surprise!” she said. “Winston took me shopping and we stayed at a hotel. It was really lovely, but there just wasn’t any time to meet up.”
“It’s fine,” I laughed, “it sounds like you guys are very serious.”
“Time will tell. Well, I better let you get back to your day.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
When I hung up with my mom, I didn’t know how to feel. Part of me was thrilled to hear her so happy. The other part of me felt strange about lying to her about everything that was going on. I was usually pretty open with my mom, and now I was completely glossing over the biggest event in months. Even though I knew she would have good advice that would make me feel better, I still didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to get done with this session so I wouldn’t have to see Damon’s stupid, beautiful face again. I wanted to forget that he ever existed, but if I made it in the surgical world, I knew he would pop back into my consciousness eventually.
But, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to apologize to Damon for throwing a drink at him. He was an ass, but I was also pretty nasty. I hated when people were upset with me, and his imagined ire really weighed on me. I didn’t know what was appropriate for the situation. I would send him a gift, but he already had anything he could ever want. I would write him a card, but he would probably toss it. I could apologize in person, but I didn’t want anyone to overhear, nor did I really want to be alone with him again.
I pushed my face into my pillow and let out a long and dramatic groan. I retracted anything I thought my past self would say about going on a date with Dr. Damon Rye. My younger self would beg me to stay in her lane.
Chapter 7
Damon
In order to get out of my funk, I called up a girl I met at a bar a few weekends ago. I was feeling sexually frustrated after being rebuffed by Olivia
. I needed a way to work out my frustration and tension. A quick hookup wouldn’t help me with my fundraiser debacle, but it would temporarily make me feel better.
“Hey,” I said gruffly as the elevator doors opened and Natalie entered my apartment.
“Hey,” she purred, strutting in, wearing tight leggings and a low-cut top. She flipped her shoes off and curled up next to me on the couch. “What happened to your shirt?”
I loosened my tie and tossed it onto the ground. “It’s nothing—a spill.”
“Why don’t you take that off?” she suggested, crawling toward me.
I allowed her to unbutton my shirt, which promptly went on the floor beside my tie. Before long, we were half-dressed, rolling around on my couch. Natalie caressed my torso, arousing me. I stripped her pants off of her and positioned her on top of me. But, when I did, I smelled the lingering fruity cocktail on my chest. I thought about Olivia walking out on me, and I deflated.
Natalie got to work, trying to prepare me for sex, but no matter how hard I tried to focus on the task at hand, I couldn’t get hard for her. Natalie was beautiful, but something wasn’t quite right. I had never experienced dysfunction before, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“Hold on,” I said, jumping up from the couch, my pants hanging around my knees. I shuffled toward the bathroom and shut the door behind me.
I wasn’t proud of what I was doing in the bathroom, but it had to be done for the sake of the performance. I still wanted to find some relief in Natalie, so I leaned up against the door, thought about Olivia, and went to town on myself. I simply wanted to sustain an erection long enough to get down to business, but I found myself getting carried away as I thought about Olivia. I remembered the touch of her hand on my shoulder as she went to introduce herself after our morning session in the conference room. I imagined taking her right there in the conference room, hoisting her onto the table at the front of the room. Or, I’d bend her over one of the chairs as she begged for me to give it to her.