“Maybe he’s good in bed like his son,” she suggested.
I cringed at the thought. “Never mention my mom having sex again.”
“Okay, okay,” she giggled. “Who knows what she sees in him. Love makes you do crazy things.”
“I guess. I wouldn’t know.”
Carol raised an eyebrow at me. “No?”
I shook my head.
“I’m not so sure about that. You’ve been acting stranger than ever since you started hooking up with Damon. It’s like you’re a completely different person. It’s not a bad thing, either. You’re suddenly much more badass than you’ve ever been.”
I frowned at this assertion. “I’m not in love with Damon. It’s nothing even close to that.”
“How do you know if you’ve never been in love before?”
I thought for a minute. She had me there, but I knew that I wasn’t in love.
“I’ve only been with him for a little longer than a week. We’re not exclusive. I’m not interested in having a long term relationship. He’d be a terrible partner and an even worse spouse. He’s crass and rude sometimes and thinks of himself before anyone else.”
“So? None of those things disqualify you for being in love with him.”
I stood up and started pacing around as I thought. “Infatuated, sure. Love, absolutely not. I do not love Dr. Damon Rye. He does not love me.”
“So you wouldn’t try to take your relationship to the next level if you could?”
“But I can’t,” I objected. “We’re stepsiblings now!”
“So it’s over?”
I hung my head. I hadn’t wrapped my mind around that part. It was shocking to find ourselves more connected than we once thought, so much so that I forgot about the finer details.
The truth was, I was in no way ready to stop seeing Damon. I knew that inevitably, the day would come when our affair would fizzle out or explode. We were not meant to be forever. There were just too many things keeping us apart. But, I fully intended on seeing him for as long as it was enjoyable. We were just two consenting adults who happened to have spectacular chemistry.
“I’m not sure if I can see him anymore,” I said as I came to the realization.
Carol nodded. “That’s understandable. What terrible timing.”
“Yeah,” I said gloomily. “What do I do now?”
“Go back to normal?”
I sighed. I wasn’t sure how to do that. I could hardly sit through a minute of sessions without imagining Damon on top of me. If I couldn’t be in his presence without wanting him, how was I supposed to do an internship in his wing of the hospital, let alone under his tutelage? My future depended upon what I learned in that internship. But, it was just too awkward and uncomfortable now.
“I’m not sure if I can,” I said.
“Well, you probably need to talk to him,” she said.
I cringed. “And say what— welcome to the family? Ask for pictures for the family photo album?”
“Maybe figure out what you’re going to do next. What if he isn’t as freaked out by this as you are? He’s probably used to getting a new family every few months. You’re the one who’s having a hard time coming to terms with this new arrangement. What if he wants you to work with him? What if he still wants to hook up with you? Is your relationship one where you could still be friends without the sex?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then you should talk to him. Give him a call and tell him what you’re worried about. Listen to what he has to say. Try to figure out an arrangement that works for both of you.”
I nodded. “I will— eventually. I just want a little time to myself. My mom is married to a serial cheater and I don’t know if she’s aware of it. I should probably make sure everything is okay on her end before I even worry about my problems.”
“Suit yourself,” Carol said, heading back to her room. “You can’t procrastinate on this conversation forever, though. Eventually, you’ll have to talk to him.”
“I know,” I replied, even though I was considering never discussing the topic with Damon ever again. My current plan was to leave him alone for as long as possible.
I retreated to my room and sent my mom a quick text, telling her I was happy to see her so happy, and that I would be turning off my phone so I could get some studying done. While this was mostly factual, the real reason was that I didn’t want to be tempted to talk to Damon, nor did I want to respond to his messages. But, perhaps most of all, I didn’t want to sit by my phone, waiting for a call that never came.
These things had a way of working themselves out. In time, the familial upheaval would settle down, and life would remain unchanged for me. Yes, it would be heartbreaking to see my mother get divorced years down the line, but we would get through it when the time came. There was no use in worrying about something so far in the future.
And, with any luck, I may be so successful by then that I could just buy myself a ticket across the country and work there. I would not let a Rye get to me, no matter how rich and charming one might be.
Chapter 22
Damon
As no surprise to me, my father didn’t try pushing his new marriage on me. By now, he knew that I was not amused by his rotating door of wives. I’m sure I’d hear about it again whenever they planned their reception, but until then, I preferred to be left out of the whole thing.
I knew it would be nice to reach out to Olivia about the whole disaster, but I wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to reassure her that everything was okay, but I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about us. I liked her, but clearly, things were not going to go any further. Ignoring her sent the message that there was nothing going on between us, so it was best to move on.
I was relieved to go days without a call or message from Olivia. Perhaps she was already on the same page as me and wanted to forget that any of this ever happened.
Sessions this week were going to be rough. I hadn’t finished grading the papers, I had to give my intern evaluations in soon and I would have to face Olivia for the first time in days. And, I still planned on naming her the surgical intern, even though we weren’t on great terms right now. I was not looking forward to it.
Our personal problems aside, she was still the best student for the job. I was impressed with her paper and thought of all of them, it was the most researched and best written of the group. There was no doubt in my mind that she would be a great addition to the surgical team here at CUIMC, but I would have to create a new plan for her to attend a different surgeon. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like such a good idea to have her working right beside me.
Any of my colleagues would be happy to have her around, so I wasn’t too worried about pawning her off on one of the other surgeons. And, for all I cared, we could just have her doing patient aftercare and going over case files, and maybe assisting on some of the other surgeon’s surgeries. She’d get the experience she wanted, she’d get paid, and she would be happy with that.
Expecting to have to talk to a bunch of interns after sessions concerning the internship and their final evaluations, I got there early, instead of exactly on time as I usually did. I nearly walked straight into one as I made my way to the front of the conference room.
“Doctor Rye,” the kid said. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“Go ahead,” I told the nerdy-looking guy. “Make it quick.”
He pulled out a file folder. “Oh, I think you’re going to want to listen to this,” he said, pulling out photos.
“What’s that?” I asked, already bored at whatever he had to say. I had no problem answering easy questions. I just didn’t want to engage in long-winded conversations that did not interest me.
“That’s you,” he said, pointing at a blurry figure. “That’s Olivia Hunter. That’s your apartment building.”
I squinted at the photos. It’s very clear that we were holding hands.
“You can’t prove anything with a blurry photo,
” I said. “I have girls at my place all the time. That can be anybody. It’s definitely not one of my students.”
“How about this photo?” he asked, pulling a professional photograph from the event we attended. I hadn’t even thought about there being cameras for the event, but there always were. They used these things for publicity. In the photo, we danced in the background, our faces very close. It was obvious that we weren’t just there as friends.