The Bookworm's Guide to Dating (The Bookworm's Guide 1)

The bell over the door dinged, signaling the entrance of a customer, and by the sound of it, it was one of the nurses who looked after our grandparents at the retirement community.

They got mad if we called it an old people’s home.

I preferred ‘institution for the age challenged,’ but my grandpa told me that was ageist.

I wasn’t even sure he knew what that was.

I looked around at the books that littered the floor around me and sighed.

Saylor was right.

This was way more mess than organized.***COLTON: What do u want for ur birthday?I frowned at my phone. It was eight-thirty, which meant my big brother was really cutting it fine if he was being serious. I hit reply to text him back.ME: A lie in and books?COLTON: I don’t know why I askedME: It’s a bit late anyway, don’t you think?COLTON: I was going to offer to buy u dinnerME: We buy each other dinner on our birthdays every year, it’s hardly revolutionaryAnd by ‘buy dinner,’ I meant that I cooked him dinner and dessert from scratch on his birthday, and he gave me a choice of the three takeout places in town.

Such was my life.COLTON: Fine. What do u want tmrw? Pizza? Indian? Chinese?ME: I don’t know, it’s not tomorrow yet.COLTON: I’ll even push the boat out and treat u to a sit down meal in Bronco’sME: Oh, so fancy. Careful there, you might break the bank.COLTON: We’re not all Michelin star chefs, KinsleyME: Colt, I made you spaghetti Bolognese last year. I’m not exactly Gordon Ramsay.COLTON: Mm, that was good spaghetti thoughME: I know.COLTON: Wanna make that?ME: Do I want to cook for myself on my birthday? Not really.COLTON: I know. Why don’t we all go to Bronco’s and I’ll pay for ur dinnerME: Who is all?COLTON: Everyone. Josh, Kai, Ivy, Tori, Say, and HolleyME: No Amber?His response about his girlfriend took too long to come. And by too long, I meant that it didn’t come at all.ME: Colton.COLTON: We’re not talking right now. I want u to have fun, not worry about thatME: I’m not doing karaoke. No way.COLTON: Aw, man. I wanted to serenade u with Bohemian RhapsodyME: I cannot think of a worse birthday present, honestly.COLTON: Are u sure? Me and Josh have practiced our parts and I think Kai is on boardME: I’ve heard Kai sing, I’m still going to pass.COLTON: SpoilsportME: Dinner at Bronco’s it is. Now go away, you’re interrupting my Sookie marathon.COLTON: Sookie? Isn’t that that dumb vampire show?ME: I’m sure it is dumb, but I wouldn’t know, I’m reading the books.COLTON: I have no idea how I got u for a sisterME: God liked you the day I was born, obviously. I’m a blessing.COLTON: Blessing to Satan, maybeME: Stop talking about yourself, Colt. You’ll hurt your feelings.COLTON: Oh, go read ur book u brat, ffsI laughed and put my phone down. It was good to know that even as we got older, our sibling banter didn’t change. There was a weird comfort in that, even if he was a total shit.

I also wasn’t surprised that he and Amber weren’t talking. Their relationship had been on the rocks for a long time, and while I was in no position at all to give any dating advice since I was historically very bad at it, I was firmly in the camp that it was time for them to end it.

Not only was my brother almost thirty, but he just wasn’t happy. As much as I loved Amber, their issues were too big to overcome, and I didn’t get it.

But like I said, I was the worst dater in history, and probably wouldn’t know a successful date if it slapped me in the face.

Not that it bothered me. I was twenty-six tomorrow, not ninety-six. I had plenty of time to dedicate to a relationship. Admittedly, it probably didn’t help that I had a terrible habit of comparing every real man I met to the fictional ones in books to the point that I actually stopped trying to meet real men.

God, they were all so disappointing.

I mean, look at my brother.

It was a miracle he’d ever gotten a girlfriend with his lack of cooking skills.

I sighed and put my book down. Maybe I was too picky. Maybe I’d set my bar too high. That was a thing, and the longer I went without meeting guys I even saw potential in, the more I wondered if I was being a bit of a relationship snob.

Then again, was having standards a bad thing? If I felt I was worthy of a certain type of man, did that really make me a snob? Or did that mean I respected myself enough to hold out for someone who was everything I wanted?

Or did it mean I had way too high of an opinion of myself?