KINSLEY: I started my period this morning.ME: That’ll be the reason.KINSLEY: Thank you.ME: You know people do do it while on their period.KINSLEY: I am not those people.ME: I’ve never done it myself, but apparently it’s better than normal.KINSLEY: Let me put this in a way you can understand.KINSLEY: If you come near my vagina at any point during the process of the shedding of my uterine lining and the cramping of the same uterine walls, so help me God I will grab your balls with a metal nutcracker and twist so hard that they’ll retreat back inside you and you’ll taste your own sperm.ME: So that’s a clear no, then.KINSLEY: You’re hard work.ME: You’re not exactly a walk in the park yourself. Your brother is the reason for this.KINSLEY: No, your immature and misguided teenage pact is the reason for this.ME: If you want to be specific…KINSLEY: When am I ever not specific?ME: I can’t think of any situations. Even during sex. It’s slightly distracting.KINSLEY: If I don’t tell you, how will you know where my clitoris is?ME: I believe my tongue located it pretty swiftly last night.ME: Or you need an Oscar nomination.KINSLEY: Shut up.ME: You’re welcome for that, by the way.KINSLEY: Shut up!ME: Are you getting embarrassed? Are you blushing?KINSLEY: I’m going to kill you.ME: But then you’ll never have another orgasm again.KINSLEY: Hey. Until last night, I hadn’t had sex in a year. The middle drawer of my nightstand says I most definitely WILL have orgasms. With or without you.ME: Now we’re talking.KINSLEY: I didn’t mean to say that out loud.ME: I’m snooping in your drawers next time I come to your place.KINSLEY: Don’t you dare!!!!!!!!ME: Shoulda thought about that before you told me you have a sex shop in your nightstand. What other kinky things don’t I know about you?There was a knock at my door, and I threw my phone down, chuckling at myself. Winding her up was more fun than I’d realized.
Dirty banter was the best banter.
I pulled open the front door and stopped short.
Colton’s eyebrows shot up. “Expecting someone else?”
“Like who? Santa Claus?” I dropped my grip on the door handle and moved aside to let him in. “I thought you were at work.”
“The realtor had an opening for this morning,” he explained, closing the front door behind him. “I’m not in until after lunch, so I thought I’d stop by. You don’t have my sister hiding in your bathroom again, do you?”
I was going to ignore that.
“How’d it go?”
“The viewing, or my sister in your bathroom?”
“The viewing. I have no knowledge of your sister’s bathroom habits,” I said dryly. “Coffee?”
“Please. It went well,” he said, skipping over my response. “There’s not a lot left to do to get it finished, and the asking price is the same as you paid even though the yard is a little smaller.”
“End plot,” I said. “That’s why I borrowed the last couple grand from my grandma to get this place.”
He grunted. “It’s big enough. I’m gonna call and make an offer a little under this afternoon citing the yard size.”
“Awesome.” I put a mug under the machine and pressed the button. “The developers are fair. I think they’ll understand.”
Another non-committal sound came from him.
“Is this it, then?” I asked, glancing over at him. “Is it finally the end for you and Amber?”
“It’s been over for a long time. Neither of us wanted to give up the sex.” He took the mug when it was finished. “But even that’s not great anymore.”
“Thanks for the visual.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Sadly. Are you ending it, then?”
“Gonna wait until I know for sure about the house, but yeah. It’s coming. We want the same thing but in different ways.”
“Sorry, Colt. You’ve been together a long time.”
He shrugged and poured creamer in his mug. “Win some, lose some.”
A relationship that had lasted as many years as his wasn’t something I’d quantify as ‘losing some,’ but hey.
He’d already resigned himself to the end.
“So what are you doing about my sister?”
I choked on my coffee. “What?”
“Dating.”
“What?”
“Her dating thing.” He looked at me as if I was stupid. “Matchmaking. Setting her up.”
Jesus Christ.
“Oh, that. I don’t know.”
“Thought you were giving it up.”
“Tempted to,” I said vaguely. “But I kinda owe her for last night.”
Owed her round two… when she wasn’t on her period.
“Her shit date? Isn’t she fed up of those yet?”
I shrugged and perched on one of the bar stools at the island. “Obviously not.”
“I thought she liked Elliott.”
“She does, but like she said, she’s keeping her options open.”
“Doesn’t sound like Kinsley.”
“Just repeating what she’s told me.”
“Mm. I was just saying.”
I wish he wouldn’t. “Don’t ask me, ask her.”
“I will.” Colt paused. “Is something wrong? You’re acting weird.”
Yeah, I fucked your sister last night. You could say something’s wrong.
“Didn’t sleep well,” I replied, sipping my coffee for good measure.