The Bookworm's Guide to Dating (The Bookworm's Guide 1)

Ice-cold. Unwelcoming. Pure rage.

While I knew my brother would never hurt me, it didn’t change the fact he probably should have.

He was just using anger to mask his hurt.

He took a long drink from the beer, his lips popping around the bottle top when he released it. “Well? You’re the one who wants to talk. You’re doing a shit job.”

I bit back the snarky response I longed to give. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, well that’s all right then. All is forgiven.”

“Colton.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You and Josh do your thing. Never mind me. Never mind telling me—”

“That wasn’t a decision we made lightly!”

“Oh, we! Is that the royal we, or are you speaking for him now, too?”

“Do you hear yourself?” I took a step forward and threw my arms out to the side. “Do you hear how utterly unreasonable you sound?”

“Unreasonable?” He raised his eyebrows and slammed down his beer. “You know what’s unreasonable, sis? Unreasonable is my little sister and best friend not having the fucking decency to tell me they’ve decided to fuck each other on a regular basis. It’s leaving me to find out by the ancient grapevine at a fucking duck parade, of all places. A fucking duck parade.”

“You say that like it was by choice!”

“It was by choice!” He slammed his hands flat on the kitchen island and glared at me, a vein throbbing in his neck. “You made the choice not to be honest with me! You had to know someone would find out about you screwing each other and—”

“Listen to yourself! Fucking this and screwing that!” I fisted my hair and threw my arms out in defeat. “You’re so mad over a situation that you perceive to be true that you can’t even listen to me for thirty seconds!”

“I don’t need to listen to you!” he yelled.

“Yes, you do!” I shouted back even louder. “It’s not sex, Colton!”

He flinched.

“But you won’t listen. You won’t let me tell you what’s happening or explain myself!” I rubbed my hands over my face. “You know what? This was a mistake. I can’t—I can’t talk to you if you’re not going to listen to me.”

I turned and stalked toward the door, my heart churning with a chronic ache I felt everywhere.

“Look, I get it,” I said, gripping the door handle and following the grain of the wood with my eyes. “I get that you’re angry. I understand that you feel like we conspired against you, but I didn’t ask for this to happen, and neither did Josh. We didn’t plan for this to happen. This isn’t just a fling, Colt. This is real.” I dipped my head and looked at the floor. “I have a lot of feelings for him. Real feelings. Ones that scare me a lot. And I think I might—I might even be falling in love with him.”

Silence.

He didn’t respond. Didn’t even clear his throat or shuffle a foot.

My throat tightened. “But you’re my brother. And if this hurts you that much, if this really, really hurts you, then none of that really matters. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Colt.”

Tears stung the back of my eyes as I opened the door.

“Shut the fucking door, Kinsley.”

I did.

Behind me.

I swiped at my cheeks and barely registered the opening of his apartment door. His arms on my shoulders was a little too much to miss, and he swept me around and into his apartment.

Where he slammed the door, then wrapped me up in a huge hug with my face pressed into his chest.

And he let me cry, even though he was the one who was hurting.

But was he?

Was it only him?

Judging by the tears that were escaping my eyes and soaking his shirt, it wasn’t. I could be both happy and sad at the same time, and that was okay. I was allowed to be conflicted by the way I felt, but I just hated that I was discovering this right in front of Colton when he was the person I was trying to comfort.

“All right, stop this,” he grunted. “Crying won’t fix anything.”

“I know, but I feel awful.”

“I know you do, Kins.” My brother released me and looked at me. “I just—I was shocked. And to find out from fucking Agatha and Mabel was a punch in the gut.”

“I’m sorry. We were going to tell you, I swear.”

“But you didn’t.” Colt’s voice was gentle despite the bite in it. “You didn’t tell me, Kins, and that really fucking hurts. Honesty isn’t too much to ask for.”

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and looked at him. “I was going to, but I chickened out every time. I was so afraid of hurting you that it was easier to just… not,” I admitted. “Josh—”

“Josh can tell me himself,” he said with an edge. “He’s man enough to go behind my back and start seeing you. He’s man enough to justify his own position.”