The Bookworm's Guide to Faking It (The Bookworm's Guide 2)

“Oh, dear,” Amos said without a hint of regret. “What a shame.”

I fought back a laugh. “Why don’t you take Mabel inside? Me and Seb can get these. You know, in case one of you falls and pops out a hip or something.”

“Good idea. Maybe a Xanax for Mabel, too.” Amos shuffled over in her direction, and after a brief argument, finally convinced her to join him inside to watch their show.

A Xanax would work.

“That woman is something else,” Seb said, watching as she left with his grandpa.

“Mm,” I replied, bending down to pick up one of the coats.

There were holes for the duck’s wings.

This was… crossing a line into really, really strange.

“Holley.”

“What?” I jerked upright and turned to look at Seb.

“I asked if you were okay. You ignored me.” His lips pulled to one side. “Were you thinking about a book?”

“Mm,” I replied again, folding the coat in half as I met his eyes. “Yeah, I’m reading this book where the girl’s fake boyfriend kisses her and instead of kissing him back, she fantasizes about punching him in the face so he can’t do it again.”

His smirk didn’t disappear. “What did you expect me to do? Grandpa made me greet you.”

“A hug? A kiss on the cheek if you really had to? Why did you need to kiss me properly?”

“Holley, if you think that was kissing you properly, you’ve dated some real jerks.”

“I don’t date,” I said without thinking.

“You don’t date?”

Damn it.

“Not often.” I paused. “I have a business to run. Besides, Saylor dates enough for the both of us. Not very successfully, but she dates.”

“Huh.”

“What? It’s not that surprising. Besides, it’s not like I’m forty. I have time to date later.” I picked up another coat and added it to my little pile.

“Then me kissing you really shouldn’t be that much of an issue, should it?”

“Well, it was.”

“I can’t wait for this. Why are you really mad?”

“Well, you did it without my consent. I didn’t agree to it, and—”

“You had no control over it.”

“Excuse me for wanting control over who kisses me.”

“That’s not what you’re mad about, and you know it.”

I pursed my lips. “I don’t like what you’re insinuating.”

“I’m insinuating that you’re a control freak and always have been.” Amusement tinged his words. “You like everything to be your way, and when it’s not, you get angry.”

“Wow, what is it? Rip Holley apart day?”

“I’m just saying.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“Why? Because you can’t—”

“If you finish that sentence with the words ‘control it,’ then I’m going to control your breathing when I chop my hand across your throat,” I threatened, turning around to glare at him.

He grinned. “So fun when you’re feisty.”

“You’re the most irritating person I’ve ever met, and I can’t believe I have the distinct displeasure of not only having you back in my life, but as my fake boyfriend.” I flashed him the fakest smile I could muster and picked up the last coat that had been blown into a bush.

Seb took them all from me and made sure they were all in a stack, then put them down on the nearest bench. “Distinct displeasure, eh? What have you been reading? The Girl’s Guide to The Queen’s English?”

“That’s not even a book,” I retorted smartly. “And if it were, I’d definitely recommend you read it.”

“I do need a new book to read.”

“When do you have the time between all your irritant missions?”

“My irritant missions? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense. Like right now. This is an irritant mission.”

“Still doesn’t make sense. Mostly because I’m not here to see you, I’m here to see my grandpa, and you just happen to be here.”

“Wow.” I put my hand on my hip and raised my eyebrows. “Do you talk to all your fake girlfriends that way?”

Seb’s tongue flicked out and wetted his bottom lip. “Given that you’re the only one I’ve ever had, I guess the answer is yes.”

“It’s always nice to know you’re not just one in a long line of girls.”

His lips twitched as he fought a smile. “Is that what you thought of me? That I run around collecting fake girlfriends?”

“Fake girlfriends, fake broken hearts for your fake jar…” I trailed off with a ghost of a smirk quirking my mouth. “How do I know?”

He stared at me a moment before he rolled his eyes. “Are you always this dramatic?”

“No. I think Kinsley is rubbing off on me.” I shrugged and turned back toward the building. The sky was darkening, and I didn’t want to be out here when the heavens opened and shit snow all over town. “I’m going inside. It’s cold.”

“Is this all the coats?”

“I have to be honest: I don’t really care if it is or not.”

Laughing, he followed me inside. It felt like a furnace, and I instantly ripped off my hat and scarf because I was at severe risk of overheating.