“No, thanks,” I say.
He lifts it and takes a large, crunchy bite. “As soon as the power’s back, we’ll make something hot and delicious.”
Hot and delicious? Is he trying to kill me?
If I wasn’t annoyed by having no electricity before, I definitely am now since I can’t use my phone to text Cami and Piper. Not that Cami would want the details, but it’d be nice to talk with someone who can give me advice on what the hell to do.
Knowing Cami, she’d say to be truthful with him and wait for him to open up. However, Piper would just tell me to jump his bones again to get rid of the awkwardness.
Which might actually be a good idea.
“Any news?” I ask.
“My phone’s dead but…hold on, I’ll be right back.” He walks toward the garage where his SUV is.
Instead of waiting for him, I go to the couch and get comfortable. I pick at the weird icing and obsess over everything that happened between us last night.
When Ryan sits down next to me, I don’t bother looking at him. My mind races with a million different thoughts.
Does he regret it? Does he think I regret it? Did he not enjoy it?
When I hear his phone turn on, I snap my eyes toward him. The screen lights up, and there’s a cord attached to it.
“What the fuck? What is that?” I point at him.
“My emergency portable charger. I don’t travel without one.”
“Oh my God! And you’re just now mentioning this?” I frown with annoyance.
“Yes, because it’s for emergencies,” he emphasizes. “I knew if I let you use it, you’d waste the battery checking Instagram and texting my sister. So I saved it for when we needed it, which is now.”
I glare but don’t respond because he’s right. But still.
I need to talk to a girl about this or I’m going to have an anxiety attack over it.
“Okay, checking my messages now. Just Cami and Eli asking how we are and to call as soon as we can.”
“What about the weather and road conditions?”
“Looking now…”
“Nothing new on the roads yet. Still dealing with an overwhelming amount of snow and haven’t made it this far yet,” he explains. “Oh, we have a power update. They’re working on it and are saying surrounding areas should all be up and running by the end of day today.”
“Oh thank God!” I exhale with relief. “I hate that I have to say a little prayer every time I flush.”
Ryan bursts out laughing. “What the fuck are you doing in there?”
Playfully, I smack his arm. “Shut up! You know what I mean. I pour the water in, but I’m still worried it’s going to malfunction or something.”
“You’ll be a pro by the end of this. I’m just gonna check my work emails, then I’ll text Cami and Eli and let them know how we are doing.”
We sit in silence for a bit while he types on his phone. If we don’t talk about the elephant in the room, I’m going to combust. For someone who doesn’t do casual sex, he’s sure acting like nothing happened.
Is there any chance he forgot?
No way. He wasn’t even drinking. So what the hell then?
“Okay, Cami says to make sure you’re not only living on booze and to find food for you.” Ryan snorts. “I’ll tell her ‘too late for that.’”
I smirk, then decide to just go for it.
“Oh, can you give her a message for me?” I ask.
“Sure. What do you want me to say?”
Without hesitation, I reply, “Tell her we fucked on the couch last night.”Chapter TenRyanMy heart jumps into my throat as I stare at Kendall.
The calm way she mutters those words makes me wonder if she’s been itching to say something all morning. I’m a little thrown off, but I do my best to act casual.
“You know she’ll call the second I tell her, and we need to reserve battery power. You’ll just have to wait to talk about me after the electricity gets restored.” I throw her a smirk.
Kendall glares at me, and I’m bracing myself for her rebuttal, but she stays silent. I almost feel bad that she’s going crazy thinking about last night, but I like that she is. Though we agreed it was only sex, it felt deeper than that. But I can’t confess that to her because once we leave the cabin, I won’t be able to give her the relationship she deserves.
After Rachelle and I ended things, I buried myself into my work even more and didn’t process the breakup for months. I put up my guard and didn’t let anyone in—including my family. It was easier to keep people away than to deal with the emotional aspects.
By the time the holidays rolled around, the pain of not being with her hit me like a wrecking ball. The year prior, I had spent the holidays with Rachelle and her son, Joey. He was only five at the time, and it was so special for me to see Christmas through his eyes. It was our first and last Christmas together.