"No, it's fine. She couldn’t handle how much I worked, and after a while, she had trust issues because of all the women I work with, though I never gave her a reason to doubt me. I’d never cheat on her and even told her so, but that wasn’t enough to reassure her. When we first started dating, my hectic work schedule wasn’t a problem, but the longer we were together, the more it became a wedge in our relationship."
"Sounds like you guys were able to remain friends at least. Do you blame her for the breakup?"
"No, but I've harbored guilt about it. We could've had a good thing, but my job is non-negotiable. Either it's something my partner accepts or it's over." He’s almost emotionless as he says those words. Ryan shrugs, then grabs the syrup and pours more on the few bites he has left.
It’s clear Ryan will always choose his work over a woman, and while his dedication is admirable, I wonder if any woman can handle that kind of schedule. I’d never make him choose, but it’s easier to say that beforehand. I’m sure it causes issues in a relationship when you never actually get to see the person.
Ryan continues when I don’t say anything. "Don’t get me wrong. I cared about her and Joey a lot, and I miss hanging out with him," he admits, finishing his food. “Rachelle and I were good for each other, but it was more of a right person, wrong time kind of situation.”
My heart races, and I swallow down a big gulp of coffee. I'm not sure I like the sound of that, but I keep that to myself.
"She didn’t understand why my job came first. I made a commitment not only to my patients but also my co-workers. They depend on me to show up and do my part. Even though I’d get two days off a week, it wasn’t enough. We’d spend them fighting, and things weren’t fun anymore. I knew I had to end it before things went any further. It was hard to leave, though, because of her son. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart," he tells me as his expression softens. "His dad is a piece of shit and doesn’t want anything to do with him, so I tried to be a good role model for him and spent as much time with him as I could. We spent many afternoons feeding the geese in Central Park or visiting the Lego Store at Rockefeller. The carefree times we spent together are what I miss the most," he honestly says.
My heart hurts for him because I can tell he truly cared for Joey as well as Rachelle. At this point, I don't even know what to say.
"But I made the right decision," he confirms. "I'm sure you know how it is when things end for the best."
I nod and pick up our empty plates. "If you were really in love, you would've never walked away." At least I hope that’s true.
Ryan comes over to me and smiles while reaching to turn on the water. "You're probably right."
After I rinse the syrup from the plates, I place them in the dishwasher, then start it since it’s almost full.
"I think I'm gonna take a shower," he tells me. "Need anything?"
"Nah, I'm good for now," I say.
As soon as he walks upstairs, I make myself comfortable on the couch, then pick up my phone and text Cami because I need to know how much she knows about Rachelle and Ryan. While Cami didn't really know her that well, she still might have some juicy details. They were together for almost a year, and everyone was shocked when they broke up, including me. We were all convinced they’d get married, and she’d get pregnant shortly after.
Rachelle is beautiful, blond, busty, and runway model thin and tall—the completely opposite of me. I've only seen her in pictures, and I'm sure they didn't do her justice. From what I've noticed over the years, Ryan only dates insanely gorgeous women with successful careers. Even though he’s called me beautiful and I’m not usually insecure about my looks, not being on the same job level as his exes or even him is intimidating. I don’t have any expectations for once we leave the cabin, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope we could be something.
I stare at my phone for at least five minutes as I think about what I'm going to text to Cami, but instead of letting it drag on any longer, I type out a message.
Kendall: On a scale from 1-10, how in love were Ryan and Rachelle?Cami: Oh no. What happened?Kendall: Nothing really. I just wanna know. She called him today, but he rejected it, so I wonder if they're talking again or if he still has feelings for her.