When Kendall plops back down in her spot, I force myself to keep my eyes on the screen, but it's hard. When I'm around her, I feel happier than I’ve felt in months and more like myself. I honestly can't remember the last time that's happened to me. Years, maybe? A decade?
While I hate I can't be at the hospital, I'm happy for the time to work on myself. I've been running from my feelings for so damn long, and Kendall has made me realize I can’t stay closed up forever. Within a week, she cut through my hard exterior with her confidence and kindness. I needed her persistence more than she'll ever realize.
After another hour passes, I decide to get up and add more wood to the fire. I admire the Christmas tree as the lights twinkle, and the ribbon Kendall added was the perfect touch.
"Do you usually put a tree up at your place?" she asks.
I chuckle. "Nope."
A gasp escapes her. "Oh my God, Ryan. Are you a scrooge or something?"
I think about the answer my colleagues would probably give. "You know, I might be."
"Hell no. Unacceptable. Tonight, we're watching nothing but old traditional Christmas movies to get you in the holiday spirit!"
I lift a brow at her. "I'm game but only if we're naked."
I watch her swallow before biting her bottom lip. "When did you become so bold?"
"Oh baby, I've always been like this. You just never knew it." I flash her a wink and watch how flustered she gets.
I wonder if she's thinking about the same thing I am—pressing her naked body against those windows and fucking her from behind.
"Great," she says, slamming her pencil down. "I'm never gonna finish this drawing now that my brain is going crazy."
I walk closer to her and lean over the back of the chair. My eyes go wide, and my mouth falls open when I see a portrait of myself.
"Kendall..."
She places her hand over it and tenses. "They say take a picture, it lasts longer, right?" I hear the uncertainty in her tone, and I want to make sure she knows exactly how I feel about her.
I tilt her jaw and collide my lips with hers. "It's perfect, just like you."
"I can't get you out of my head, Ryan," she whispers as my heart throbs hard in my chest.
"The feeling is mutual," I admit, but we agreed on the terms of our only sex relationship from the start. She set the ground rules to this game. I'm just by playing them, hoping we both survive. "Come with me, Angel," I say, holding out my hand.
Kendall doesn't hesitate and takes hold of my grasp. I lead her up the stairs to my bedroom. Slowly, I peel off her clothes, then lay her on the bed to admire every ounce of her beauty. Once I'm naked, I move on top of her. As we kiss, something inside me shifts, and I know she feels it too. Emotions swirl around us, and at this moment, I know we're no longer fucking, but instead, we're making love.
Our heavy breathing fills the room as I whisper how beautiful she is. Feeling this way about Kendall is scaring the fuck out of me. It could end badly. I could break her heart, or she could break mine.
We are so opposite from one another, but when we're together, we fit like two pieces of a puzzle. I wonder if I could give her everything she needs since my work life tends to be a deal breaker for most women.
As our orgasms take over, I'm blinded by the emotions that consume me. I study her face, kissing her lips, and wish I was Bill Murray so I could live this day over and over a thousand times with her. Even if that happened, I doubt it’d be enough because Kendall has already burrowed herself deep inside my heart.
Pushing the thoughts away as we hold each other, I should emotionally prepare myself for when this ends, but I don’t want to.
"We're staying in this bed until the sun rises," I say in the crook of her neck.
She laughs and pushes herself onto her side, studying me. "Is that a promise?"
"Considering I can't get enough of you, you bet your sexy ass it is."Chapter SeventeenKendallDAY 12The past four days with Ryan have been amazing. Something has shifted between us, but neither of us talk about it. It’s easier than admitting we were too weak not to fall for each other. But now I wonder if I’m creating a false scenario in my head that we could actually be more after this is over. Either way, I’m taking it day by day.
It’s Thanksgiving Day, and I wake up with sadness in my heart that I won't be able to go to the shelter. The only thing that makes up for it is spending today with Ryan.