“That perfectly fine spot was a fire zone,” Armie pointed out.
She waved that off. “And the fire wasn’t occupying it at the time, so there. And also, you would be far more attractive if you smiled more. But to my point, Deputy Blanchard doesn’t know all the critters from around here yet. And I watched that documentary on crazy people who raise zoo animals in their backyards. How do we know they didn’t let a few out and we’ve suddenly got a tiger problem?”
Sometimes Zep wished the Internet had never come to Papillon. “We don’t have any big cat rescues close to us. And there are no private zoos, so I don’t believe that we’re dealing with a tiger.”
“How do you know?” a voice shouted from the back of the audience. A familiar voice.
He looked out over the crowd and Roxie was standing up. “I know because tigers leave behind evidence that they’re here.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Roxie stepped out of her row and started to walk toward the front. “I meant how do you know we don’t have any private zoos or private citizens who own dangerous animals?”
What was she doing? He leaned forward so the mike would pick him up. “I know most of the people in the parish. I haven’t heard anything about illegal animals.”
“And if you did, what would you do about it?” She eased up to the public mike, standing in front of him with that authoritative stance that got his motor running every time. It didn’t work with anyone else. Only her. There was something so . . . Roxie about the way she stood.
“Well, I guess I would tell the sheriff.” It was really all he could do. There wasn’t anyone else to tell. He could call Wildlife and Fisheries but that could move slowly, and people around the parish would deal better with someone local. “We don’t have an animal services department. That’s precisely why the sheriff hired me. I’m a subject matter . . . I hesitate to use the word ‘expert.’ I’m a guy who knows a lot about local wildlife.”
“But you weren’t the guy who was on my property last night,” Sue interjected. “Major was. He didn’t even look in the trees to see if the tiger was up there. He just glanced around and then said I should pick up my chip bags or it would be littering. I don’t even eat chips. My body is a temple.”
Roxie’s expression had turned distinctly thoughtful and she stepped back for a moment.
Herve took the chance to make his move. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not a tiger. It’s a rougarou. We used to have them all over the bayou in the old days. They’re coming back. My pop-pop always said they would rise again. I think we should hire Miss Marcelle and Miss Delphine to take care of this problem.”
“Hallelujah,” could be heard from the audience. From Zep’s mom.
He shook his head. He knew exactly what was going on here. “I know she promised you ten percent, but ten percent of nothing is going to be nothing. Now, listen up, everyone. There is no rougarou. There is no tiger. There was an asshole who dumped a puppy he didn’t want, and some teens who didn’t know when to go to bed. I don’t know exactly what went on last night. But I promise, I will come out to your place, Sue, and I will check for tracks. I’ll check into every single incident until I prove to you that this is nothing more than Archie having an active imagination.”
“No you will not.” Roxie had her hands on her hips and was sending him that stare she got when she wasn’t going to be moved.
He wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong, but he caught sight of the girl with the camera coming in closer like she knew something dramatic was about to happen. At least this time she wasn’t climbing on top of the shed and losing her camera in someone else’s yard. “I thought you wanted me to be more involved.”
Roxie shook her head. “You are already far too involved for very little pay. Armie, are you going to pay him to answer every citizen’s call?”
“I was planning on seeing if I could pay him in beer, actually,” Armie admitted.
Zep turned toward the sheriff. “I am not being paid in beer.”
“You used to,” the sheriff pointed out.
“No, I was never paid in beer. And we’re going to talk about my rates because I’m not doing the work of an entire department for fun. I’m good at this and I deserve to be paid.” He was getting a headache, and that camera was on him. “Ashlyn, could you put that thing away?”
The teen didn’t flinch. “Sorry, it’s a school project. Could you talk more about the animal attacks?”