“Oh stop.” Now I feel even worse. If he knew I was pregnant and struggling with all-the-time sickness, he wouldn’t be here.
“Come here,” he says tugging on my hand.
“No. Come back to bed. I don’t like you sleeping on the couch.” I tug back just as hard, but he’s immovable.
He pulls harder and I topple over him, rolling to my side and stretching out so we’re face-to-face. He kisses my forehead. “You feeling okay?”
“My stomach was bothering me.”
Truth.
“Murphy’s cooking?” he teases.
Chuckling, I shake my head. “No.”
Also true.
He rests his chin on top of my head and after a few minutes his breath turns deep and even.
Mine doesn’t. All I can think about is the test that looms over me in the morning.
To find out if I’m having a baby or having my heart broken. Again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Last night can’t happen again.
I find Rock in the kitchen the next morning. “Finally get some sleep?”
“A little.” I flick the burner on underneath my tea kettle and pull out a mug.
“How do you feel this morning?” he asks from behind me.
Shitty.
Taking a calming breath and slowly blowing it out, I turn and face my husband. “Rock?”
He’s closer than I thought and I have to tip my head back to meet his eyes. He raises an eyebrow waiting for my question. “Are you busy today?”
He places his hands on my shoulders drawing me closer. “I have a project I’m behind on. Why?”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a couple minutes.” His stare becomes too much for me and I glance down. “What’s wrong, Hope? Do you need me?”
God yes.
My hand flutters over my stomach and of course Rock doesn’t miss the movement.
“Tell me.” His voice deeper, more serious than before.
Courage rises in me like a tidal wave. I can’t—I shouldn’t be doing this without him. What if it’s bad news?
“I have a doctor’s appointment,” I whisper. “Do you think you can go with me?”
“Of course I will. You’re scaring me, though. What’s going on?”
“Nothing bad.”
Please let that be the truth.
He drops his gaze to my hand over my stomach and narrows his eyes. Slowly, his gaze roams up my body, stopping at my chest. He drags his hands from my hips up over my ribs, then gently cups my breasts.
I suck in a hit of air, closing my eyes to focus on his touch.
“What time is your appointment?” he asks in a low voice as he gently kneads. His thumbs brush over my nipples and for a second I can’t articulate an answer to his question.
“Eleven,” I finally answer.
“Fuck, where?”
I pry my eyes open and my heart speeds up. The question he wants to ask burns in every line of his face. “Right down in Sterling.”
He flicks his gaze to the clock and reaches past me to shut off the stove. “Shit, we need to leave now.”
He leans down, pressing his lips against mine. Turmoil and curiosity shine in his eyes as he steps back, taking his hands off me.
“I’ll feed you breakfast when we get back, but you need to eat something now.” He pulls out a granola bar from the cabinet, grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and presses them into my hands.
“Thank you.” I turn away, walking to the closet to grab my coat.
Rock’s silent as he takes my hand and we walk over to the garage. Silent as he opens the door and helps me up. Silent as he slides into the driver’s seat and starts the truck.
He glances over at me and I offer a hesitant smile.
“I need to call Bricks. Let him know I won’t be down until… later or tomorrow,” he says almost like a question.
A question I’m not sure he’s ready for the answer.
He waits until we leave the property and are on the main road, headed toward Sterling, a small town right outside of Empire. He puts the call over the Bluetooth and I sit silently while he explains to Bricks that he won’t be coming in today.
“Yeah, no problem. I got it covered,” Bricks promises.
“Thanks, brother.” He hangs up and grips the steering wheel tight. “Where am I going?”
“Straight on eighty-five. It’s the first building after the light.”
The tension between us rises and I’m halfway to a meltdown by the time he pulls into the parking lot.
“Left,” I direct him around to the side of the building. He stops, shifts into park and glances over at me then at the building.
Sterling OB-GYN.
He doesn’t say anything, but I wait for him to come around and open my door. He grips my hand tight and leads me inside.
“Hi, I have an eleven o’clock with Dr. West.”
“Have a seat Ms. Kendall, we’ll be with you in a few minutes.”
Rock chooses a chair away from everyone else in the waiting area. As I sit next to him, he leans over. “Clearly this isn’t your first visit here.”
“Well, no. It’s my regular—”
“Don’t,” he growls in a low voice, only loud enough for me to hear. “You know exactly what I mean.”
Although he’s tight with irritation—not quite anger—and he has every reason to be, he wraps his arm around mine and laces our fingers together in a familiar, loving way.
“Are you all right?” he asks after a few minutes. “Is everything all right?”
My bottom lip trembles. “We’ll find out today.”
“Jesus, Hope,” he mutters. He kicks his legs out straight, crossing them at the ankle and leans back in the chair. On the outside, he probably appears laid back and unconcerned. But tension radiates off him. The tight set of his jaw. The death grip of his hand on mine.
It kind of makes me want to jump him.
As if he knows the dirty thoughts in my head, he gives me a sideways glance. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing appropriate,” I murmur.
He leans over, placing his lips against my ear. “Don’t try to distract me with thoughts of sinking into your hot pussy. As soon as we get home, I’m stripping you down and working you over. Hard.”
My breath catches.
“If you’re good, I’ll let you come too,” he whispers.
“I’m going to come right now if you keep it up.”
He sits back and lifts an eyebrow. I rub my hand over my stomach and lean into him, bringing my lips to his ear. “If I’m not nauseous, I’m horny.”
He sucks in a breath and closes his eyes. My lips twitch, happy I have the same effect on him he has on me.
“First we need to discuss you lying to me,” he says.
“I didn’t lie—”
“Don’t,” he cuts me off. “When?”
I could throttle my wife right now.
She has me so fucking wound up. Torn. Hopeful. Scared as fuck. Pissed off. Turned on. So many emotions brewing inside, I could lose it any minute.
Since we returned from Florida, I’ve suspected something was going on with her. I think I understand why she didn’t want to tell me, but it still pisses me the hell off.
My fingers squeeze hers and she turns, watching me but not saying anything.
“Does anyone else know?” I ask. As mad as I am she hasn’t confided in me sooner, I’m more upset she’s been struggling with this alone. If Trinity, or hell, even Heidi has at least been there for Hope, I’ll feel better.
Her eyes widen as if it hadn’t occurred to her to seek out help from one of the girls. “No. I’m not sure of anything yet. I wanted… I wanted you to be the first to know.” Her gaze drops to the floor. “No matter what.”
“I wish you hadn’t been going through this alone,” I finally say.
Her body stiffens, but she meets my eyes. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up and the
n—”
“Baby, you know better by now.” I reach up, brushing the back of my hand over her cheek. Something else occurs to me, and my mouth quirks. “Were you worried I’d hover over you even more than usual?”
She snorts softly and shakes her head. “Maybe.”
“I’ve been worried about you.”
“You know me too well.”