After Burn (Lost Kings MC 10)

“True.”

“Have you told him you want to take time off yet?”

“No, I’m not really sure what I want to do. I’m just… worried. What if things are rough near the end or it’s… shit, now I’m starting to freak myself out.”

“Relax. Deep breath. Women have been having babies since, well, forever. You’ll be okay. But yes, if it will help you to relax to clear your calendar a little and you can afford to do it, then you absolutely should.”

“Thank you. I feel like I’m about a decade and a half too old to be doing this.”

“But just think how much older and wiser you are now. You’ll have more patience, which believe me you’ll need. Plus, you’re more financially and emotionally stable.”

“I’m not sure about that last one lately.”

She laughs softly. “It’s a roller coaster for sure.”

“I’m noticing.”

“You also have a partner who I have a feeling will be very supportive.”

“He is.”

“Hey, do you want to get together Friday afternoon? You can bring Alexa so the girls can play?”

I quickly check my calendar and we make a plan to meet at her house.

As we’re saying goodbye, my phone beeps. Caller ID says it’s my mother. Strange, since I haven’t heard from her since a random phone call on New Year’s Day. I haven’t told her I was pregnant yet, but maybe this is a sign that I should.

“Hey, Mom,” I answer.

“Hope, it’s me… it’s Bruce.”

My skin prickles. My stepfather hasn’t called me once in the decade or so he’s been married to my mother. “Hi, how are you?”

He clears his throat and I brace myself for what’s coming next, because obviously it’s not good.

“Hope, I’m really sorry to have to say this over the phone, but your mother passed away early this morning.”

Numbness, a serene sort of shock settles over me. My mother isn’t that old. When was the last time I saw her? Guilt rubs against the numbness. Why didn’t I make more of an effort?

Because she hurt you every time you tried, a small voice reminds me.

“What happened?” I finally ask.

“She had a heart attack.” He sighs. “Last night she said she wasn’t feeling well before she went to bed. But nothing alarming. She was in the shower this morning and I heard a crash. By the time the paramedics arrived, it was too late.” He makes a choking sound between a gasp and a sob. That’s what finally breaks me. His grief, because I’m still not even sure what I feel.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I made all the arrangements. The funeral will be Wednesday, Hope. I know she’d want you there.”

As if I wouldn’t go.

“Of course I’ll be there.” I would’ve spent more time with her if she’d shown any indication that she gave a damn about me at all.

Am I upset that my stepfather’s apparently already taken care of everything without any input from me? Not really. He knew her better than I did. Honestly, I’m relieved not to have the additional stress right now.

I unconsciously rub my hand over my stomach. You’ll always know how much you’re loved. Always, little bean.

I reach for a pen and write down the information he gives me. A few awkward minutes later, we hang up.

My gaze fixes on the wall across from me. How white and plain it is. Maybe I should hang something there. Maybe someone else will hang something there one day. If I leave, will Adam rent this office out to some other young attorney trying to find her way?

Why am I worried about that? It doesn’t matter.

I pick my phone back up and call Rock.

“I was just thinking about you,” he answers.

I close my eyes, picturing his handsome face, smiling as he tucks the phone between his ear and shoulder so he can finish whatever he’s working on while we talk.

“Hope? What’s wrong?”

“My…” my voice trails off, unsure of how to word it. “My mother died.” Saying it to Rock makes it real and my voice cracks. “My stepfather called. Sometime this morning she—”

“Where are you?” he asks. In the background his heavy boots slap over concrete and tools clatter against metal.

“At the office.”

“Stay there,” he orders. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Sometimes I swear it feels like we attend a funeral every couple months.

Or bury a body.

Even though she keeps saying she’s fine, I plan to spend the whole day with Hope so she’s not alone.

“Do you want us to come with you guys?” Trinity asks quietly while I’m making breakfast.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t think she’s close to her stepfather.”

“She’s hardly ever mentioned him.”

I stopped trying to encourage Hope to pursue a relationship with her mother during our engagement when it became obvious the woman didn’t give a fuck about her daughter. I saw how much that indifference hurt Hope every time she reached out and got slapped down.

Although I stand by my decision, I still wish things had been different for both of them.

“Hey,” Hope calls as she comes down the stairs.

Trinity rushes over to her. “I’m so sorry, Hope.”

Hope accepts an embrace from Trinity and mumbles, “It’s fine, really.”

The two of them talk at the dining room table while I finish breakfast.

“You need to eat all of it.” I kiss the top of her head as I set the plate in front of her.

“So bossy,” Trinity teases.

Hope wrinkles her nose and stares at the plate. “It looks so good, but my stomach… ugh”

“Start with the toast.”

“That’s a spiffy looking bacon, spinach, and egg frittata,” Trinity says. “I see you’re putting that Fit Pregnancy subscription to use, Rock.”

“Thank you for that,” Hope mumbles around her piece of toast. “I think he’s read it more than I have.”

“Aw,” Trinity winks at me. “That’s what I love about you, Rock. You’re in the kitchen cooking for your woman while she incubates your baby. And if someone dared imply it makes you less of a badass, you’d knock their fucking teeth down their throat. That’s a real man and true love rolled into one.”

Hope snort-giggles. “I am wildly spoiled.”

I bring two more plates to the table, setting one in front of Trinity. “Don’t give me any I-already-ate bullshit, Trin.”

“I don’t even like coffee all that much, but I miss it,” Hope says, leaning over to inhale my cup.

“I’ll make you decaf.”

“It’s not the same. I’ll just sniff yours.”

Trinity taps on Hope’s arm to get her attention. “I came up with a great idea for your next bump session.”

Apparently this is a thing. Every month, Trinity claims Hope has to take a photo of her baby bump. She’s already annoyed about missing the first two months, so she’s been relentless about scheduling and planning all future ones with Hope.

“You’re going to continue this after the baby’s here, aren’t you?” Hope says.

Trinity grins for an answer, making Hope laugh.

After that, Trinity entertains Hope with funny stories about some of her photo shoots. “So Wrath wanted me to take a few shots at Sully’s place and I can’t remember if you’ve met Sully’s girlfriend, but she’s like this big.” Trinity holds her hand a little higher than the dining room table.

“So, she comes up to about Wrath’s knees?”

“Exactly. She’s such a sweetheart, though, I didn’t want to make her feel bad. I had to like stand on the desk to get them both in the shot.”

Hope holds out her hand like a waiter carrying a loaded dinner tray. “You could’ve posed them with her sitting in his hand.”

“Oh! That actually would’ve been really cute.” She drums her fingers over the table, deep in thought. “I’ll have

to float that concept by them next time I’m out there.”

“You’re very secure. I wouldn’t want Rock’s hands on anyone else’s ass. Work or not,” Hope says.

Under the table, I tap my fingers against Hope’s leg. “Why are you dragging me into this?”