After Glow (Lost Kings MC 11)

He shakes his head as if he can’t deal with those complicated feelings on top of everything else. Marcel’s always been so protective. I already know how much regret and guilt he has over the things that happened to Heidi. So, I let it go. For now.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says. “Go on.”

“Right.” I shift my mind back to the past, trying hard to recall any little detail that might make all of this less awful. “He paid her to stay with me while he went out whoring and drinking. I didn’t mind. It was better than being in the backseat of the car until last call. We’d play video games, watch cartoons, normal shit.” I stop and try to remember when that changed. “I met Grinder maybe a year later. Started hanging around the MC when I could. Told my dad I didn’t need a babysitter anymore. But she’d still come around.”

“Was your dad still paying her?”

“Probably. I never asked.”

He roughs his hand over his hair. Anger and frustration bleeding through every movement. “I remember you joking about seducing your babysitter when you were a kid. Fuck, I even remember Grinder making jokes about it.” He shakes his head quickly as if the implication of those old tales take on a new meaning. “Never thought you were talking about my mother.”

The regret and shame coloring his voice propel me forward. “That’s not on you, Marcel. That’s me. And her. It has nothing to do with you.”

Above us, the sky darkens and the wind picks up. A storm threatens to either cleanse us or drown us, but I can’t end our talk until he has the answers he needs.

Finally, he looks at me. “It has everything to do with me.” The words scrape from his throat, raw and bitter. “You think she knew?”

“It’s not an excuse, but I was a kid. I never thought—”

“Jesus, Rock.” He lets out a long, slow breath. The anger boiling beneath the surface seems to slow to a simmer. “I don’t blame you. I can’t believe she roped my father… my…” He shakes his head.

“What do you want, Marcel? What can I do to make this better?” I think I’d do damn near anything to make all of this up to him.

He stares at his hands for a while without speaking. Finally, he lifts his head. “How would you feel…? Would you…? I want to take your last name.”

My name? The idea knocks the air right out of me. In the middle of this intense discussion, I never expected that question. Or that he’d want to make such a huge change at this point in his life. Pride fills my chest.

He stares at me, and I realize he’s waiting for an answer. “Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. There’s nothing I’d like more.”

“Not now.” His gaze shifts to the highway beyond the clubhouse. “ I still gotta figure out a way to explain this to Heidi, and I don’t know how you feel about telling the club.”

“I’ll tell ’em right fuckin’ now.” I need him to understand I have no reservations about claiming him as my son. “No hesitation. None, Marcel.”

That doesn’t seem to lift the gloom off his shoulders. “I don’t want the name of some cuckold who was abandoning his son and a newborn baby girl without ever looking back.”

“Whenever you’re ready. Say the word.” Shit, I have no idea how any of that works. “We’ll get your birth certificate changed, whatever we need to do. I want to claim you as my son.” I have to take a breath and look away. “I hate that I’ve known you all these years and never suspected. On some level I should’ve known.”

With a laugh, he shakes his head. “Who knows? Maybe that’s why you didn’t kill me that night you caught me breaking into the garage trying to steal from the club.”

“Maybe.”

He snorts and gives me a hint of a smile. Then he shoves me away. “You know all those times you choked my dumb ass? That’s fucking child abuse now.”

Even though guilt creeps in, I laugh with him.

“Been pretty hard on you, huh?”

“Thank fuck. Can you imagine what an asshole I woulda been if you hadn’t given me an ass-kicking when I needed it?”

“You’ve always been a good man where it counted, Marcel.”

He turns and looks at me sideways. “Only because you set a good example for me.”

Behind us, a gunshot goes off, barely muffled by the brick walls.

We both glance over our shoulder, seeking the source, but it’s hard to tell which building it came from.

“Sounds like I missed a fun time,” he says.

“That’s one way to put it.” How do I frame my next words? I can’t have him think I don’t want to acknowledge our relationship. But I’d be a shitty father not to point out the risks as well. “I have to say this. You realize in our world, you being my son puts you in even more danger?”

“We were bound by loyalty long before we knew we were bound by blood, Rock,” he says.

This kid of mine…damn.

He shrugs and glances at the Demons’ clubhouse. “Chaser and Stump have learned how to survive.” His lips twitch. “Stump’s a way bigger prick than you are.”

“Yeah, and Chaser’s slightly less of an asshole than you. What’s your point?”

“Everyone knows you fuck with one Lost King, you fuck with all of us. You being my…father doesn’t lessen the reputation we’ve built.”

He’s right. It still needed to be said. And so does this. “The club wouldn’t be where it is without you, Marcel. We wouldn’t have survived the things that threatened to take us down if you weren’t part of it.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

The storm that had been threatening earlier seems to lose force. The dark clouds above us drift apart and a few rays of sun break through.

Maybe it’s the relief of talking this out. Maybe he’s saving the rest of his questions for another time. The air between us shifts. The staggering weight of what we’ve learned finally seems to lift from his shoulders.

“You riding home with us?” I ask.

“Yeah, I am.” He slides off the table and faces me. “I can’t wait to get home.”

Chapter Twenty

Rock

I’m bone weary by the time we finally make it home. Wrath and I walk the path back to our houses in silence. He doesn’t ask what Teller and I talked about and I don’t offer. When we reach the bottom of my steps, he gives me a fist bump and takes off into the dark. Lights are on inside. My girl’s still up, and I can’t wait to see her.

I don’t expect to find Z in our living room.

“Hey,” I call out.

“Hey, Prez. Everything go okay?”

Hope struggles to lift herself off the couch.

“Don’t get up, doll. I’m coming.”

She huffs out a frustrated bre

ath. “I need to get up anyway.”

Z jumps up and offers her his hand. I cross the room and pull her into my arms, giving Z a look he must interpret as back off because he puts his hands in the air and takes a step away.

“You okay, baby doll? I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” she says, giving me a quick kiss. “But I really need to pee.”

I snort out a laugh and release her, watching her hurry down the hall before claiming a spot on the couch. “What are you doing here so late?”

“Murphy and Heidi are down at Charlotte’s place. I stopped by to make sure Hope was okay and didn’t need anything.”

I accept that answer. There are certain lines Z would never cross, and Hope’s always safe with him. “Thank you.”

He nods and glances away.

“She do all right today?” I ask.

“I think so.”

“Sorry, you had to—

“No. It was fine. I… I didn’t mind. It was pretty amazing really. There’s video for you.”

“Before she comes back, tell me. She all right? Her health, I mean.”

I expect him to give me shit, but he sits up, pinning me with a serious stare. “Doc said her blood pressure was on the high side. Wants her to rest and watch her diet. But otherwise, I think everything was fine.”

“Okay. Good. Thank you. I know this was out of your job description—”

“Christ, you’re more than a fuckin’ brother to me, Rock. I got no issue helping her out. Don’t give a fuck what it is, you know I’m here for both of you.”

It takes me a second to come up with an answer. “Thank you.”

“Did you rat me out, Z?” Hope asks as she returns to the living room. I hold out my arms to her, and she hurries over, allowing me to pull her into my lap.

“No ratting, Hope.” Z laughs. “You behaved.”

She bares her teeth at him, but she’s laughing more than anything.

Christ, I wasn’t gone that long, and I missed her. Bad. I’m twitchy. Need to get her alone and have her all to myself.

Love Z like a brother. Trust him absolutely. Still felt the urge to club him over the head when I found him alone in my living room with my woman.