Provocation (Explicitly Yours 3)

“This isn’t over. I can’t take back what I did, but I should’ve told you everything before you found out that way. When you wouldn’t listen, I got angry. I can’t seem to figure out how to give up some control without losing it entirely.”

Lola opened her eyes. The mountains were indigo shadows that seemed impossibly far away. In the time she’d known Beau, he’d always been very aware—of himself, of her. How could he not have seen the pettiness of what he’d done, the sheer egoism of it? He’d stood to gain real love and a life that centered around something other than work. Instead, he’d thrown it away in the name of pride. That was something she couldn’t explain to him, though. It would have to be a lesson learned.

“I can’t just pretend nothing happened,” Lola said.

“I don’t expect you to. I know I have a lot to make up for.”

She narrowed her eyes. “So you’re willing to try?”

Beau took a mug of coffee and handed it to her. Instead of picking his up, he returned his arm around her. “If you’re willing to take it day by day. This is new territory for me, but I’m a fast learner. You know I’ll do what it takes to fix it.”

Lola did know. If her forgiveness was his prize, then he would make it his. It was an impossible feat, she knew. But he didn’t. It would drive Beau even more, sink him in deeper. “When do we start?”

“We already have.” It sounded like he was smiling. “I work on Saturdays, but I’ll leave it for Monday. You’re my queen this weekend.”

“And after this weekend?”

“We go home.”

“Home?” she asked. “As in…?”

Beau took an arm off her to drink some coffee. “As in you, where I am, when I wake up, when I go to sleep. When I leave for work, when I get back.”

Lola felt like she’d eaten cotton. So little time had passed, it was hard not to still want that with Beau—home. A life, a future. For him to forgo his work to spend time with her was his highest compliment. But with her wounds so fresh, she was a slave to her pain, and it ran deep. This wasn’t a new life with him. It was a chance to be by Beau’s side every morning and every night. To get so deep under his skin, he couldn’t rid himself of her. To bring down the walls around his heart so she could hold it in her palm, exposed and unprotected. It wouldn’t be easy to love the devil, but she could do it if it meant sending him to hell where he belonged.

“I want that too,” she said.

“Good. You know I’d get my way even if you didn’t.”

He was teasing her, so she laughed lightly.

“Now that that’s settled,” he continued, his voice hardening, “how about enlightening me to your thought process when you left my room yesterday morning.”

“Yesterday morning?” Lola took a sip from her mug, stalling. Abrupt, probing inquiries like that needed consideration before answering.

“Warner said you walked home from the hotel.”

“That’s right. Yes, I did.”

“It was still dark.” He waited a moment, as if that warranted a response. “Well? What in the hell made you think that was a good idea?”

She squinted out at the skyline. “I had to blow off some steam.”

“You couldn’t have done that in the back of a car?”

“No.” Lola shifted on her feet. There was an edge to both their voices. This was too familiar to them, and they slipped into their battles easily. He’d been putty in her hands for a moment, but she should’ve known he wouldn’t allow that very long. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know,” he said in a tone that conveyed he definitely did know. “Maybe because we were robbed at gunpoint a few hours before that. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems like safety would’ve been pretty high on your list of priorities.”

“Does it matter? I made it in one piece.” She sniffed. As if he had any right to worry about her after he’d cast her aside so carelessly. “Anyway, I didn’t have a choice. I needed to be alone.”

“With no cell phone and no credit cards. In the dark.” The air around them thickened. “It gets me worked up again just thinking about it.”

“Does it?” Lola continued to look forward, carefully tucking it all away for later. His cares, concerns, triggers. “Well, then, it’s a good thing I had plenty of cash, thanks to you.”

“Are you fucking kidding? People have killed over far less money than what you had in your hands.” He removed his arm from her. “Where’s that money now?”

Lola turned around and leaned back against the banister. “Downstairs in my room. I fit as much as I could in the safe, but—”

“Jesus Christ, Lola.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “That money needs to go in the bank yesterday. You’re asking for trouble carrying that kind of cash around.”

“You’re right.” Lola set down her mug and put her arms around his neck. There was no way in hell she was loosening her grip on the one thing keeping her afloat. That money was all she had left. “I’ll do it soon.”

“Not soon. You’ll do it Monday. And today, we’re getting you a new phone. You can’t be without one.”

“I don’t mind being out of touch, actually.” Lola had to stop herself from grinning. Toying with Beau had always been fun, no matter how she’d felt about him. “It’s so refreshing to be free from the chains of society for once—”