“Yes.” He glanced down at their hands. “After I sold my first company, the same night I met you, I doubted myself. I wasn’t sure which way to turn. I drove to Arizona and looked out at the Grand Canyon, waiting for answers. A place like that really makes you realize how little control you have. But it also puts things in perspective.”
“I get the feeling keeping perspective hasn’t really been an issue for you.”
“Not usually. It helps to separate emotion from most things.” Beau took Lola’s mug from her, set their drinks on the coffee table and looked at her. “Don’t think I don’t realize how lucky I am. I almost lost you because of pride, but you gave me a second chance and saved me from a lifetime of regret.”
Lola let herself get lost in the comforting green of his eyes. Tonight, she was one half of a normal couple. How could Beau not see right through her? Hear the undercurrent of her distrust in everything she said? She was the one left with regret—regret that he’d made her do this. And that she’d never get to witness his suffering.
He leaned in to touch his lips to the bow of hers and made his way around her mouth with light, gentle kisses. She could’ve told him right then that she loved him, and it wouldn’t be a lie. But the closer they got to the end, and to each other, the more afraid she became that saying it aloud would feel too good.
His hands were on her cheeks now. His patience unnerved her. “I’m hungry, Lola,” he said so softly, she almost missed it.
“I’ll heat up your dinner.” She went to pull away, but he kept her there.
“Not for food.” He ran the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. “I want to know you inside out. And for you to want the same from me.”
“I do.”
“Do you?”
“It’s not a race, Beau. Be patient.”
“I am. We have all night.”
That was almost true. Lola wasn’t sure who fell asleep first, just that it happened sometime before the sun came up, after they’d talked and talked about everything and nothing in particular.
Around dawn, Beau stirred. Lola squeezed him closer with her arm, not ready to lose his warmth. “Stay,” she murmured.
“It’s almost six.”
“Take the day off.”
He kissed the top of her head and raked his fingers through her hair. “I can’t. Not right now.”
Lola sighed deeply. She was already drifting back to sleep when he moved her arms and shifted her aside so he could stand.
“Want me to take you upstairs?” he asked.
“I’m fine here.” Her eyes were still closed. She felt around for a pillow to take Beau’s place, yawned and burrowed into it. “Have a good day, honey.”
The room was quiet a moment, and she assumed he’d left. Then he said, “You’ve never called me by anything other than my name.”
It took her a moment to realize she wasn’t dreaming. Lola blinked her eyes open. She got up on an elbow and squinted at him. “What? What’d I call you?”
“Honey.”
Beau’s hair stuck up on one side from sleeping against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids were heavy. Light was just beginning to filter through the blinds. Lola couldn’t remember how she’d gotten there and what she was supposed to be doing.
Beau came back to the couch and squatted to kiss her on the forehead. “It’s nice waking up with you. My day can only go downhill from here.”
He stood, but Lola grabbed his arm. “Then stay with me.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Call me when you get up. We can get lunch.”
He let go and left the den. Lola rubbed her eyes and watched through the door as he climbed the stairs toward his bedroom. It’d been a nice moment, but it was cut short by Beau’s devotion to the only thing that had his loyalty—his work. Business. The empire he looked down upon from his office in the sky.
And then Lola remembered where she was and how she’d gotten there.
3
Present day
Twelve hours, thirty-one minutes, eleven seconds. That was how much time had passed since Beau’d hung up the phone with Detective Bragg. Lola had been missing even longer. She wasn’t missing, though. She was just gone. Beau couldn’t wrap his head around how easily she’d erased herself from his life. Between disappearing without a trace and Brigitte cleaning out Lola’s things, it was as if she’d never even been there. She had, though, and once he found her, this uneasy feeling she’d left him with would finally go away.
Beau rubbed his eyes with tense fingers, the air in his office stale. She’d told him once she’d never been past Vegas. There was a whole fuck-of-a-lot beyond that. Every minute that went by, she got farther away from him. He wouldn’t even entertain the notion that her first stop might’ve been LAX airport—he couldn’t take on the rest of the world right then.
Beau finally got some relief when his cell vibrated on his desk, Bragg’s name popping up. He answered it. “How far did she get?”
“I got nothing.”