“What?” he exhaled. “Why?”
“Just pull out,” I said, feeling panicky.
He dropped his head into the crevice of my neck and breathed hotly onto my collarbone. “Oh, God.”
“Bill, don’t come inside me,” I said more forcefully.
“Aren’t you . . . Shit,” he cried and sat back. He grabbed himself and rubbed his crown against my stomach, groaning until liquid heat was spurting over my skin.
“That was hot,” he said between heavy breaths. “You are so hot.” He leaned over to kiss me before pulling on his pants. He passed me a tissue. “You’re on birth control. Why’d you want me to pull out?” he asked as I wiped away the stickiness.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I just got nervous.”
“That was a rush though, huh?” He yawned. “Imagine if someone had caught us? I would’ve been toast.”
I kissed his nose and got dressed. When he yawned again, I told him he was coming home with me. He readily agreed.
~
When I received an e-mail from David telling me how much he had enjoyed our ‘friendly’ walk, I knew exactly how he felt. The simplicity of our time together was refreshing. And when he asked if I wanted to do it again, I was ashamed of how little I hesitated before replying that I did.
I met him downstairs after work. Even though I had spent the afternoon convincing myself that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I still scanned the lobby to make sure there wasn’t anyone I knew.
His arms were crossed over his broad chest as I approached. “Good evening,” he said with a wide, contagious grin.
“Good evening,” I repeated. I walked out through the lobby door when he held it open.
“You’re nervous,” he said.
“Maybe a little.”
“I don’t make you uncomfortable, do I?”
“No,” I said. “I just feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
“We’re just two friends walking,” he reminded me.
I nodded. “It’s nice, just walking.”
“Yes, just walking is nice. But I can think of nicer things.”
I blushed and bit my bottom lip. I could also think of nicer things. When he winked playfully, I pretended to search for something in my purse to hide my embarrassment.
The city was our soundtrack for the first few blocks. As the sun set, the evening grew colder, and I buried my hands in the pockets of my jacket.
“What are your plans this weekend?” he asked eventually.
“I’m thinking of going to the animal shelter. It’s been a while since I volunteered.”
He smiled. “Of course. I remember that you like to walk the dogs. Where do you take them?”
“Usually just down to the water or the park. The shelter isn’t far from my apartment.”
“Lincoln Park?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll be there this weekend. My parents are driving in, and we’re taking my sister’s kid to the zoo.”
“That sounds really nice.”
“We’re barbequing in the park afterward.” He went to say something else, but stopped himself.
“Oh. Will Dani be there?”
He chuckled. “I was wondering when you’d bring that up again.”
“I’m just curious.” I hazarded a casual shrug. “Like, has she met your parents?” I asked, fingering a lock of hair.
“You think we’re more serious than we are.”
“When was the last time you went out?”
He cleared his throat. “A few nights ago.”
“A few nights?”
“Yes.”
“After I saw you? But you and I . . . We walked, and . . .”
“And what?”
“Nothing.” I watched the sidewalk disappear under my feet. After a moment, I said, “I forget how good you are at that.”
“At what?”
“Juggling women.”
“I wasn’t juggling women. We’re just walking, remember?”
I nodded. “But you do . . . juggle women. Because you’re a player. Aren’t you?”
“So you keep saying,” he said. “You called me that at the Meet & Greet that night.”
“But isn’t it true?”
He smiled. “I don’t have time to pursue women.”
“You could be pursuing someone right now instead of walking with me.”
He covered his heart with his hand. “Ouch. But yeah, you have a point.”
“So if you don’t pursue women, does that mean you and Dani are in a relationship?”
“Relationships also take time.”
“So you just have . . . flings.”
“I generally don’t deny myself a beautiful woman if she’s offering. If that makes me a player, then I guess that’s what I am.”
I was surprised when an arrow of jealousy shot right through my heart. Jealousy was the ugly monster that lived in my mother – up until recently, it was something that I rarely felt. “Does Dani know that?” I asked.
“Listen,” he started, “I like her. She’s a sweetheart. But you don’t need to worry. Lucy has been very persistent in trying to set us up. Nothing will come of it, though. I’ve told Dani so, but she’s stubborn. I think Lucy’s given her this idea that I want to be tamed, and I just don’t know it.”
My jaw tingled as I clenched it. The thought of them together crept back into my head. I wasn’t sure I believed him – after all, it was far from the impression Dani had given us. “Are there others?”
“What?”
“Are you seeing anyone else?”