“Missy Maggie knows best.”
“No, I don’t, but what I do know is that if you don’t face your problems you’re going to end up a sad, lonely man with regrets. That will be such a waste.”
“Well, it must be nice to have it all figured out.”
Her head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. “I ran once too. But I’ve stopped. I’ve found my place in Ghana. Where I belong. Found you. I found Neetie. I see a future there. I’m building that future. You’re stuck in the past. You can’t even carry on a civil conversation with your parents. You can’t face your best friend. You shut people out. You care but you refuse to admit it. Now you’re doing the same to Neetie and me.”
Court stood with his legs apart, facing her. He took a deep breath. “You can’t take care of everyone, Maggie. Can’t make everything okay for everyone. You can’t save us all!”
“You don’t want to be saved! You want to wallow in your misery and resentment. At least I’m using my gifts to help people who need it. I’ve accepted who I am and now I have Neetie to build a family with. I’m taking a different fork in the road. I’m choosing to stop running, to be happy. Are you ever going to do that?”
The words hung heavy and dark between them. Court glared at her, angry at her words and angry at himself. Knowing the fear of one day losing Maggie or Neetie held him immobile. Instead of unending agony later, he would let them go now.
Maggie broke the silence between them. “I’ve made arrangements for a flight to Ghana. We’re leaving straight from here tomorrow.”
His eyebrows rose. “I could have the foundation—”
“You’ve done enough. I’ve already taken care of everything.”
“Then I’ll drive you to the airport.”
“Do you really want to do that, Court? You’d have to be closed up in a car with us.”
“I’ll be here tomorrow to take you and Neetie to the airport,” he snapped. He left, closing the door with a final click behind him. Who was Maggie to tell him what he needed to do? Or how he felt?
* * *
Court didn’t sleep much that night. He spent most of it sitting in his chair, reliving the sting of every word Maggie had thrown at him. Was she right? Was he choosing to act like a failure? Was he letting his parents’ decisions years ago rule his life?
The sun was rising when Court gave in to the nagging voice that said Maggie was right. He had demons he needed to shake off, put behind him. The satisfaction of practicing medicine had returned while he’d been in Ghana. Despite the fears he had for Neetie, Court’s confidence had grown as he’d done what had been necessary to save the boy’s life. If he was to move past his guilt and continue in his profession then he had to speak to Roger, see how Jimmy was doing.
But the fear that held him in its grip was that if he put himself out there, admitted he cared for Maggie and Neetie, he’d be opening himself up to possible pain. He loved Lyland and he was gone. His parents hadn’t died but they had been just as lost to him as Lyland. What if he lost Maggie or Neetie? Giving his heart to them meant that he might experience all that agony again. No, he couldn’t live through that.
As soon as it was reasonable to do so, he punched in Roger’s home number. After Court explained who he was, the housekeeper told him Roger had taken Jimmy to the hospital for his physical therapy appointment. Were the fates controlling his life? Maybe Maggie’s influence of “caring for everyone” extended to realigning the universe so that the signs pointed him in the correct direction. Or maybe it was the way it should be. Whatever it was, he would speak to Roger before he took Maggie and Neetie to the airport.
Court took a deep breath and pushed open the glass doors to the physical therapy department. A bitter taste filled his mouth. It suddenly seemed warmer than it should have been in the small waiting room. He found Roger sitting in one of the chairs against the wall. Roger looked up from the papers in his hand.
“Court, what are you doing here?” Roger remained seated.
Court walked toward him as his belly drew into a knot. “I came to speak to you. I want to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Why now, Court? Where have you been for the past six months?”
Shame washed over Court. “I should’ve been there for you. For Jimmy and Alice.”
Roger stood. “We know there was nothing you could have done, but as a friend and Jimmy’s doctor we thought you would have at least come to the hospital.”
“I don’t have an excuse that will ever justify my actions in your eyes or mine. All I can say is that I’m sorry, so sorry. How’s Jimmy doing?” The question was for Roger but Court looked at the boy coming toward them.
When Jimmy stopped beside Roger he put his arm across the boy’s shoulders.
“Well enough. He’s getting the therapy he needs and is improving. We have a new normal, but he’s a happy boy.” Roger’s smile was one of unconditional love as he looked at his son.
The boy gave his father a lopsided smile much like the one Neetie had given Court when they’d visited the zoo. Because of Neetie Court had a better sense of how Roger felt about his son.
Jimmy pulled on Roger’s hand. “We’ve got to go. I promised Jimmy ice cream if he worked hard.”
“Roger,” Court called, halting Roger’s departure. When he turned Court held his friend’s gaze. “Perhaps I could call round…some time.”
Court held his breath as his oldest and closest friend assessed him with a level look. Finally, after what felt like an age, Roger nodded, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips.
Court nodded in return, then watched father and son leave. The impossibly heavy weight of remorse he carried hadn’t disappeared but it had begun to ease.
* * *
By the time Court arrived to pick them up, Maggie’s emotions were already stretched to the limit and were taking a double beating. Neetie, who was usually a willing soul, balked at everything she asked him to do.
Packing and preparing to leave was a subdued undertaking. She didn’t know if she would make it to the plane before breaking down. As difficult as leaving Court was, it was still the right thing to do. She and Neetie had become too attached to him. This time she wasn’t running to Ghana, this time she was going home, but she was leaving part of her heart behind.
Maggie wished Court hadn’t insisted on taking them to the airport. They needed a clean break and prolonging their goodbye wasn’t making it easier on her or Neetie. Neither she nor Court spoke outside necessary conversation as he made his way through the mid-morning traffic. It wasn’t the comfortable kind of quiet that they had experienced before but one with an air of resignation, despondency and the desire to say something that could stop the forward motion of what was about to happen. Neetie was oddly silent, as if he sensed the raw tension between her and Court.
Maggie bit her lip and gripped the doorhandle. The confined quarters of the car were closing in on her. Getting out was all she could think about. Her hands started to shake. She knotted them in her lap. She looked at Court. His profile spoke of a man of strength. The solid jaw line and prominent cheek bones were offset by small laughter lines around his eyes. The only hints of his angst were in the firm set of his mouth and the too-tight grip he had on the steering wheel.
r /> She needed space or she’d fall on Court and beg for him to come with her or, worse, beg to stay. She’d once begged a man to have her and she’d promised herself she’d never do that again. Bittersweet relief filled her when Court pulled into the unloading lane of the airport. Maggie opened the door before Court had hardly pulled the car to a stop.
Getting away was what she needed to do. Find that bubble world where she knew what was going to happen day in and day out. Learn to survive without Court and make her life work again with Neetie.
Court placed their meager luggage on the curb.
Neetie hopped along beside her, saying, “Big white bird, big white bird,” and pointed into the sky.
Thankful for the time to collect herself, Maggie schooled her face so her emotions wouldn’t show. All she had to do was get through the next few minutes. She looked at Court in his impeccable suit. He still commanded her attention just as he had on the day they’d met. Her heart fluttered. Now she knew those dark glasses covered the most amazing blue pools she’d ever seen. The ones that twinkled when he was kidding her, showed heartfelt concern even when he was trying to hide it, and, best of all, the ones that turned indigo as he entered her.
He felt, he cared. He just refused to admit it.
Court came to stand beside her. Her heart ached with misery. They’d gone from passionate lovers to polite acquaintances in a few short days.
“Bye, Neetie,” Court said, looking down at the boy. “You do as Missy Maggie tells you.”
Neetie’s head bobbed up and down. Tears filled his eyes.
Maggie blinked in an effort not to join Neetie in crying. She was doing the right thing. She had to leave. Neetie needed to too. They had their own world to build now.
Court took her hand and pulled her to him. Before she realized his intent, his lips came down on hers in a searing kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and went up on her toes to meet him. He didn’t have to ask for access to her mouth, she freely gave it and returned his hunger. Her heart burned with the pain of knowing he wouldn’t be there with her the next day or the next.