Another ricocheting with the loss. The loss of laughter. The loss of years.
We made it to the landing, and Lily slowed, trying to find her breaths and slow her heart and keep herself from dropping to her knees.
I squeezed her hand again. “She is happy, Lily. Not just for the moment or because something turned out right. But because her heart knows the true meaning of it. Seeing her sick is the hardest thing in the world, but don’t look at her body. Look in her eyes, and you’ll see it.”
Inhaling deeply, she let go of my hand, finding that massive well of strength that she once was, and she edged forward.
A second later, she stood in the doorway of our mama’s room. Staring on the woman who had loved us with all that she was.
The one who had instilled our belief. Who had taught us kindness. Who’d whispered fierceness into our souls.
Lily was the epitome of it.
A fighter.
A survivor.
The second they locked eyes, Lily rushed to her side and dropped to her knees, edged up high enough that she could bury her face in our mama’s belly. “Mama.”
Mama choked on the relief.
“Liliana. My sweet child. Liliana.”
Pain and joy danced.
Mama tipped her head back and stared down at the daughter she’d been terrified she would never see again.
And those eyes said it all.
Amor. Amor. Amor.I didn’t know how I was supposed to stand aside and watch this happen.
My entire body shook.
An earthquake.
A landslide.
That selfishness that I tried to shuck from my consciousness. To rid from my spirit.
I searched for the kind of strength my big sister had mustered for the last six years, knowing I didn’t have an idea, that I’d never come close, praying I could find a modicum of that bravery.
That I’d possess a shred of the type of self-sacrifice Lily had made.
“You should go and say hi,” I whispered, running my hand through Daisy’s hair where she stood next to me looking at Lily who stood rigid with her arms crossed over her chest about twenty feet away.
The late afternoon sky was chilled, my entire body shivering like it was gonna succumb to the cold.
Daisy danced over to her, stared up into Lily’s eyes with one of those grins that could shatter the earth.
Bright.
Brilliant.
Sunshine.
“Hi. I’m Daisy.”
Lily knelt down in front of her and tipped up her chin. “Hi, Daisy,” she whispered on a tortured breath.
I nearly crumbled.
Daisy giggled and held up her casted arm. “Look, we match.”
Lily brushed her knuckles down Daisy’s cheek. “We do, don’t we?”
“Yup! Did you know I’m a bird? I fly so high. Come and watch me.”
Daisy grabbed Lily’s hand and dragged her down the sloping lawn to her swing set in the middle of the yard.
A sob wrenched out of my throat.
Strong, strong arms wrapped around me from behind, even though one was in a sling. His voice came as a whisper in my ear, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
“I’m falling, Richard. Falling apart.”
His head shook against mine, and he just held me tighter. “It’s okay. You can fall. I’ll be right here to catch you.”
“She’s my life.”
“And you’re mine. We’ve got this, baby. Whatever life throws at us, we’ve got this.”
Daisy’s laughter billowed through the air.
Richard held me tighter. “She’s so beautiful.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is her joy.”
“And you’ve given it to her.”
Lily caught her at the bottom of the slide. “Wow, you did it!” she sang.
“I’m way big, didn’t you know that? And a Tomfoolery, but I’m working on that.”
Lily choked on a laugh.
Sorrow and joy.
Sorrow and joy.
It curled through the air like wisps of clouds.
“Mommy and Mr. Richard! Come play with us!” Daisy waved her unbroken arm in the air.
A haggard sound crawled my throat, and my gaze clawed toward my sister’s.
Agony. Agony.
Richard held me with his hands pressed over my chest. Keeping me upright.
Liliana smiled. This soft, knowing smile. She gestured with her head for us to join them.
Richard took my hand, weaving our fingers together as he moved to my side. Energy sparked. Alive in the air. His dark aura washing through the encroaching night.
In it was warmth.
His ferocity.
His soul.
The man towered beside me where I stood in his eclipse.
“You can do this,” Richard said with soft, soft belief.
I forced myself to walk their way on unstable feet.
The ground rumbled beneath. I thought I could physically feel it getting ready to be ripped out from under me.
“Mr. Richard! Mr. Richard! Are you all better now? Can you go on the slide? My mommy said I’ve got to be so super careful because she can’t take no one else she loves getting hurt. Lords knows I’m a disaster.”
A rough chuckle rolled through my aching chest.
Richard squeezed my hand tighter. “Give me a few days, flower girl, and I’ll be good as new.”
She grinned at the nickname he’d given her, her sweet face glowing, his love flooding out.