“Sure.”
“I’m having a hard time figuring out who’s actually related and the ones who just call each other family.”
Affection moved through my chest. “That’s the way we want it. You shouldn’t be able to tell. Love and devotion shouldn’t be hinged on whether you have the same blood running through your veins or not. I love all the kids like they’re my own nieces and nephews. I’d never want them to know the difference.”
“That’s noble.”
My head shook. “No, that’s a blessing.”
Air left his mouth, the man itching where he sat, jaw clenching tight. “It’s rare to find a love like that.”
“Another honest, while we’re at it?”
“Shoot,” I said, just like him.
The two of us getting caught up in the mood.
In the stillness.
In the peace that wrapped us like a sweet, sweet dream.
He might be dangerous, but I didn’t think I’d ever felt more comfortable than right then.
“Have to tell you that you blow me away. Your kids are lucky to have a mom like you, Mia West. Or is that your last name?” he hedged, acting like it was just another casual question when I could see the muscles twitch and flex beneath all his hard, toned flesh.
I huffed a disparaging sound. “It is West. I’ve never been married. I guess I don’t have the best luck when it comes to men.”
“Kids’ dad?”
Heaviness weighed down on my chest. “Things didn’t work out.”
Leif frowned. I might as well have been vague-booking.
Disquiet stormed through my being, that feeling way down in my bones. I set my wine glass aside and hugged my knees again. A lie should probably suffice, but I turned back to Leif with an ounce of the truth. “Sometimes we think we know someone and we don’t know them at all. Lyrik thinks he bolted when he found out I was pregnant with Penny, but it was me who left him. It was hard, but some ties have to be cut before they strangle us.”
A rush of aggression gusted through Leif. “He hurt you?”
“No. It was never like that. He was just . . . trouble. Involved in things that I didn’t want for my life, so I had to cut him loose.”
He threaded his fingers together, voice lowering when he pressed, “But he’s Greyson’s father?”
“Yeah. He’d turned his life around. Started his own business. Wanted to be a part of Penny’s life. Support both of us. One thing led to another . . .” I trailed off.
Details not required.
“Because you still loved him.” It wasn’t even a question.
My nod was slow. “I thought I did. But I think it was more that I was hoping that we could work things out and be a family. That’s what I’d always wanted, after all.” I lifted my face to the night sky. “To create art and create a family. Those are my two most beautiful things.”
“What went wrong?”
Disparaging laughter rippled out. “Everything, I guess. Things were always tumultuous between us. Super on or super off. Fighting constantly. In the end, there was too much distrust. Too many questions. Too much hurt. I realized I was fighting for something that hadn’t been there for a long, long time, and I could fight for it forever, but it was never going to change the fact that he and I didn’t belong together.”
Leif stilled. Waiting.
Air puffed from my nose. “There was one night he didn’t come home. It wasn’t the first time it’d happened. I texted him probably a thousand times, and I realized that wasn’t the life I wanted to live. Paranoid. Worried. Angry. So I packed our things and left. It didn’t matter what the explanation or reason he was surely going to give, I couldn’t continue to put me and my family through that constant turmoil.”
“So, that was it?”
My shoulder hiked. “He’s been trying to get me to come back ever since. I can’t completely cut him out when he’s still involved with the kids, and he was the one who’d helped to fund mine and Lana’s art gallery to begin with.”
Our pasts tied in a way that would never be undone.
“I’m sorry. Anyone dumb enough to mess up being with you? Don’t think he deserves you, anyway.”
He said it with a cocky smirk lined with the most callous truth.
I lay my head on my knees, peering over at him, just the outline of him in my periphery. It didn’t matter. The man was the only thing I could see.
“I can’t regret a second of it. I got my children out of it. To me, that will always be the greatest, most important thing.”
Leif flinched. I wasn’t sure if it was in agreement or pain. Maybe both.
Eyes narrowed, I focused on him. “Kids make you nervous.”
Air puffed from his nose. Incredulous disgust. “Guys like me shouldn’t get mixed up with kids.”