“No, getting me pregnant. I think I’ll handle everything else from here on out.” She shifted in her chair, and drew a slow breath, trying to calm the butterflies in her middle and the tightness in her chest. Just his appearance set her heart racing, and now that he was seated close, she felt breathless. Because this was also a fact—her body liked him, very much.
And then she forced herself to remember Louisa, and Louisa was sleeping with him, and Louisa was his, or vice versa. But the point was, just two days ago he was with Louisa and now he was proposing marriage and the whole thing was ludicrous, and more than a little disturbing.
“How can you suggest marriage when you’re still romantically involved with other women?” she said bluntly, unable to hold the words back. “And how can I possibly think marriage is an option when just days ago Louisa opened your door, practically naked?”
“I thought we talked about this.”
“She answered your front door.”
“She’s a free spirit. She knew I didn’t want her to, so she ran downstairs before I could.”
“You like that?”
“She’s playful. Fun.”
Charlotte closed her eyes, aware that she was nothing like free spirit Louisa. In fact, Charlotte was the exact opposite of Louisa, and Charlotte couldn’t imagine being wild and outrageous. From an early age, she’d recoiled from drawing attention...doing anything outside the norm. And the one time she took a risk, it had been a calculated risk, but still a risk, and Charlotte had ended up pregnant.
“I’ve told you this already. Louisa and I are not together,” Brando said patiently. “There is nothing serious between us. She was in Florence and we met and had dinner—”
“Had sex.”
“Yes.”
“Probably lots of it.”
He leaned forward abruptly, closing the distance between them. “Charlotte, what are you doing?”
There was a bite in his voice and she shook her head, feeling sick. “This is all wrong,” she murmured, looking anywhere but at him. “Every bit of it.”
“You must stop thinking about Louisa. She’s not part of this equation. No one is, but us. She is completely out of the picture”
She shook her head again, feeling even more frantic. “I can’t have your baby. I can’t. You will never be faithful. Never be mine. Never—” She broke off and jumped up, neatly sidestepping his hand to escape to the other side of the balcony. “What a mess this all is.”
He rose from his chair and followed her. “What’s going on? What’s happening?”
“I’m just realizing that I’ve been living in a fantasy world. I’ve been pretending it’s just the baby and me, but it’s not. There is you, and you don’t fit into my life or my plan. Last night you said we should marry. You said we should raise the baby together, married, but how? It’d never work. You’re a bachelor. A virtual playboy—”
“I object. I’m not a playboy and have never been that.”
“You have lots of sex with lots of women.”
“When I’m in a committed relationship, I’m only with that woman. But if I’m not in a relationship, and I’m attracted to a woman, and she’s attracted to me, we might go to bed together. Why not? Sex isn’t bad, or dirty. It’s physical, it’s pleasurable. It’s a form of communication and connection—”
“But I don’t have sex with every man that is appealing. I don’t just make love because I’m attracted to him.”
“You did with me.”
“And what a mistake that was,” she retorted grimly.
He stood in front of her, hands on his lean hips, studying her. “You didn’t think so at the time,” he said after a long moment.
“I regretted it almost immediately,” she answered, glancing at him, and then away, because it was too unnerving to meet his penetrating gaze. “I flew home kicking myself the entire way.”
“That must have been a very painful flight,” he said deadpan.
She rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d make a joke about it. You don’t know me, and you don’t understand the first thing about me, because if you did, you wouldn’t have suggested marriage as if it were a cure-all. Marriage wouldn’t make anything better, Brando. It would make everything worse.”
“Explain.”
“I just have no desire to be married, much less marry someone who I’m not compatible with. We had chemistry, but you have chemistry with every woman—”
“That’s not true.”
“And you enjoy your freedom, and the opportunity to be with different women, and I refuse to be the one who takes that freedom from you. You like being a bachelor, so be a bachelor. You can be a bachelor and a father. It’s done all the time.”
“Not in my family.”
“Well, welcome to the twenty-first century, Ricci family.”
He ignored the jab. “I was happy being single, but I will also be happy being married.”
“I won’t be.”
“You don’t know that, because you haven’t even truly considered the suggestion. You’ve decided outright it’s not for you—”
“Because it’s not.”
“But don’t you think that’s a little immature? Can you try to have an open mind? We’re having a baby, and we need to come together for our child. I think you’re using me as an excuse. I’ve told you I’m ready, and nothing will change my mind now.”
Charlotte looked away, his words weighing heavily on her, eating away at her conscience and heart. She did want what was best for the baby, but the only reason Brando was suggesting marriage was for the baby. Not because he cared for her, and not because he thought it would be good for her, but it would be good for the baby, and the Ricci family name.
In Los Angeles she felt sure of herself, and confident of her place in life. Here...
Here she wasn’t Charlotte Parks, but a woman carrying Brando Ricci’s baby, the baby who would be his heir.
His heir.
Not hers.
“I liked my life as it was,” she said finally. “And I don’t think it’s selfish or immature to say that I’m a better person on my
own. Being independent has been good for me. Being able to be who I want to be, versus what others project onto me, has allowed me to become the me that is successful, and happy.” She could feel his gaze on her and she glanced over her shoulder and looked at him. “At the same time, I’m aware that we must come up with some kind of solution, find some middle ground, but marriage isn’t it.”
“I didn’t realize you’re so opposed to marriage.”
“Not opposed to marriage in general, but opposed to me marrying out of some archaic idea that marriage solves problems. Marriage doesn’t solve problems. Marriage creates problems.”
“If we were madly in love, would you still feel the same way?”
For some reason his question, in that slightly mocking inflection, made her smile. “I don’t know. But then, I’ve never been madly in love. Have you?”
He moved to her side and leaned against the stone balustrade. “I don’t think I’ve even been in love, period.” He looked out toward the valley, his gaze on the horizon. “At least not the way you describe. I’ve had long and close relationships with women, relationships I cherished, but there was never a sense, or a feeling, of necessity. There was no feeling that it was a forever relationship, one that I couldn’t live without. I’ve been sorry to see relationships end, but I’ve never felt devastated, or heartbroken.”
“Don’t you think it’s odd that neither of us have been madly, passionately in love?”
“I think it’s odder that people fall in and out of ‘love’ so easily. It makes me think it’s not love, but infatuation.”
“What do you even think love is?”
He shrugged. “I know familial love. Loyalty, respect, attachment, devotion.”
“So, you love your family.”
“I do, but that’s an attachment formed over time.” Brando shifted, faced her. “It’s probably why I’m comfortable proposing marriage. I believe together we could raise our children with kindness and respect. We’ll be devoted parents, and that devotion is binding...us to them, them to us, and for each other.”