The Dark Talent.
I stared at that off reflection for far too long, and I thought I saw something deeper behind it. A city? With ancient architecture, columns and marble? Burning?
The Librarians behind us pulled up into the street and leveled guns at us. We were dead.
The Librarians on the barricade suddenly started shooting at the ones who had been chasing us.
In the storm of gunfire that followed, a bullet struck the remaining storefront glass and shattered it. I was shocked back into the moment—which is rather a pity, since if I’d gotten shot right then the book could have ended. That means I could have stopped writing and gone to get a pizza! Instead, by not getting killed, my past self forced me to keep on working today. What a jerk.
Grandpa pulled me along toward the barricade, and only then did I see a familiar figure standing atop it—a woman with dark skin, wearing a leather skirt studded with spikes, a white bodice, and a long cloak embroidered with little open books. She wore horn-rimmed glasses that had a chain on them, and was packing an enormous machine gun with an attached grenade launcher.
Himalaya Smedry, good Librarian.
Her husband, my cousin Folsom, helped us scramble over the barricade. He was a lanky, dark-haired man whose Smedry Talent was (had been?) dancing really, really badly.
Himalaya and some others laid down suppressive fire.* I put my back to the barricade, out of danger, as Draulin came over the top, last in line. Incredibly, our entire team seemed safe. Or at least as safe as one could feel while surrounded by Librarians.
It was hard to differentiate this group from the one that had chased us. Similar clothing, similarly armed with a variety of Hushlander weaponry. The only difference was the symbol of the open book; some wore it on an armband, others on a headband.
“Not that I’m complaining about the timely rescue,” Grandpa said, “but who exactly are you folks?”
“Librarian Liberation Libationists!” one of them shouted.
“… Libationists?” I asked.
“It’s alliterative!” Folsom exclaimed.
“But that doesn’t have anything to do with … You know what, never mind.” I gave Folsom a hug. “It’s good to see you two. Seems you’ve been busy.” Last I’d seen them, they’d been determined to go to the Hushlands and distribute pamphlets to Librarians on not being evil.
It appeared they’d gone a little beyond pamphlets.
“We couldn’t leave you to fight this battle on your own!” Himalaya said, climbing down the barricade and setting her gun on her shoulder. “Though honestly, we worried you wouldn’t show up. You took your sweet time getting here.”
“I told you, dear,” Folsom said. “Lord Leavenworth was with them. They’re always going to be late.”
“Then we should have delayed and come later ourselves.”
“They’d still have been late.”
“But—”
He patted her on the shoulder. Himalaya was a Smedry by marriage, and had a Talent because of the union—but she was still a Librarian. She wanted things to make sense. I couldn’t blame her for that.
“But how did you know I was coming to Washington, DC?” I asked. “Do you have some spies in the Free Kingdoms?”
“Spies?” Folsom asked. “Alcatraz, you appeared on our window.”
I blinked. “I did?”
“Sure,” Himalaya said. “Your face was on every piece of glass in the country—both magical and mundane.”
Grandpa sniffed; he didn’t like calling silimatic glass magical. It was a common source of disagreement between Free Kingdomers and Hushlanders. I didn’t care much about that; I was simply stunned.
How had my declaration traveled this far? Every piece of glass in the country?
No wonder the Librarians were frightened. How were they going to cover this up? And where had I gotten such power? I’d never done anything on this level before.
“We’re ready to fight,” said one of the other Librarians. “We’ve been through a six-hundred-fifteen-step program. We’re totally not evil anymore.”
“Except Frank,” another Librarian noted, pointing toward a buff Librarian with glasses wrapped in tape and two massive swords strapped to his back. “He’s still a little evil.”
“I like to eat all of the red and green gummy bears out of a bag,” Frank said with a thick German accent. “And leave the orange ones behind.”
“You monster,” I said, aghast.
“It is a compulsion,” Frank said. “Don’t judge me.”
The gunfire stopped, which was a welcome reprieve. The Librarians who had been fighting atop the barricade climbed down. “They retreated,” one said, “but with Smedrys in here, they’re bound to come back—or just shell our position.”
“We can’t stay then,” Himalaya said. “Lord Smedry, what is your plan?”
I glanced toward my grandfather.
“This is your infiltration, lad,” he said to me. “You’re in charge.”
“We need to get into the Highbrary,” I said, “and stop my father from reaching the secret Forgotten Language archives inside.”
“That’s going to stop the Bibliodenites?” Himalaya asked. “And save the world?”
“Uh…” I said, glancing at Shasta and my grandfather. “Will it?”
“Who knows!” Grandpa said. “But letting a whole pack of Smedrys free in the middle of the biggest Librarian stronghold on earth can’t be particularly good for their organization, wouldn’t you say?”
Himalaya and Folsom looked at each other, then both shrugged. “Good enough for me,” Himalaya said. “I’ve got about a hundred troops loaded with weapons and pamphlets.”
“Pamphlets?” I asked. “Isn’t it a little late for that?”
“Nah,” Folsom said. “They’re Librarians. They basically have to read anything you throw at them.”
“It is a compulsion,” the German Librarian said. “Don’t judge us.”
“They may not believe what the pamphlets say,” Folsom said, “but the tactic works as a distraction sometimes.” He grinned. “I like wrapping them around grenades.”
“My force,” Himalaya said, “will make an assault and break into the Highbrary. You can slip in during the fighting.”
“Covering up our breaking in by breaking in?” Draulin asked. “That worked so well last time.”
“It’s the best chance we have,” I said. “We’ll do it, Himalaya. But how are you going to break into the place?”
“Well,” Himalaya said, “I’ve been in the Highbrary before, and it’s bigger than people think. It’s built into caverns that stretch beneath the entire downtown.” She pointed her gun at the ground. “So if you want to get in, you basically just have to go down.”
“That’s great,” Shasta said, “and impossible. The caverns will be shielded. We can’t exactly dig and find our way in, now can we? How do you propose we make an opening?”
“I figure,” Himalaya said, glancing at Folsom, “we could simply use the Smedrys to do what they do best.”
“Draw fire?” I asked.
“Draw fire?” Grandpa asked.
“Draw fire?” Dif asked.*
“How did you guess?” Himalaya said with a grin. “Go stand out in the open over there, if you please.…”
Chapter
Alice
I consider it my duty to enlighten and educate you, my readers, about life and its mysteries. I figure this is particularly important for my readers in the Hushlands, who suffer under Librarian oppression. Often they don’t even know what they don’t know!*
Sometimes what I teach you has to do with technology, the Free Kingdoms, and Librarian secrets. But sometimes it’s important to give you general life lessons. I’m certain you appreciate all the thought, work, and research I do in order to bring you the most significant, informative, and important lessons that I can.
People are disgusting.
No, really. We’re pretty gross. We’re always sni
ffling, coughing, shuffling, burping, slurping, and, uh, making other noises. We do so much of this that in order not to explode from the embarrassment of it all, we have gotten pretty good at ignoring these nonverbal sounds. You want some proof? Try this totally scientific and very meaningful experiment. Sneak up on someone* who is awake, but doing something quiet, like reading a book or assembling a doomsday bomb.
Then write down every strange noise they make. Go ahead. Make a list, then give it to them once they notice you. I guarantee they’ll be totally appreciative of your opening their ears to all of the strange sounds they emit.
They may even make a few new noises when reading the list.