My Christmas Doctor

"Well, anyway, at the service yesterday, I ran into Aaron—"

"Mom, you know I don't want to discuss Aaron!" My chest hurt at just the mention of the man. He was one of the main reasons I'd left Akron for New York City, well that and the rave reviews Ellie Chiang, my best friend, gave it. She'd gone to NYC for college, wanting to see more of the world than Akron had to offer and decided to stay. Couldn't blame her, it was part of the reason I'd gone as well, granted it was four years after her. I took a breath and held it for a moment, willing the pain to subside. Ever since the break-up back in early October, I'd had this gastric reflux that acted up, causing me all kinds of heart burn. Admittedly, Aaron wasn't the only thing that brought on an attack, but he certainly hadn't helped.

"I know, sweetie, but he was asking after you at church—"

"Mother, I don't know what he was doing there, but he did not go to church for the reasons you think, he probably had an agenda—" I was outraged the man would stoop so low!

"I think he's a changed man, sweetheart, and he misses you terribly, he said so."

"Mom, the guy is a narcissist, a serial cheater, and an abuser! You know this. He's not—" I was so angry I was starting to hyperventilate, so I stopped mid-sentence. I rubbed my forehead and paced the room. "Please, can we change the subject?"

"Fine. But you could do a lot worse than Aaron Hill, Jane. He's got a decent job here in Akron, he could take care of you and you wouldn't have to pursue such a taxing career out there in the crime filled city with all them jumped up rich folk. You know if Akron is good enough for me and your father, it should be good enough for you."

I could feel a tension headache building behind my eyes as the stress of the call ate away at my nerves. Mom had never really approved of me pursuing a career as an author. Said I should leave the thriller writing to the professionals. Like I wasn't good enough. It drove me crazy. "Mom, you know I love Akron, but my publisher and agent are here. My best friend is here. I like living in this city. I want more than Akron has to offer," I tried to explain as gently as I could.

"I'm just afraid those big city folk — that publisher and agent of yours are going to take advantage of you and hurt you, Janie. They aren't like us, they have no scruples, or morals out there in the city."

"Mom, they're good people. I did my homework before signing with either of them, and if you will recall, Aaron hurt me pretty badly with his lying and cheating, and he's not from the big city. There are people everywhere who have no scruples or morals, even in Akron."

God my chest hurts. I put my fist to my chest, trying to rub away the pain.

"That may be true, but still, I heard on the news that there was a shooting in Fox Hills last night, is that anywhere near you? You could have been killed and then I would be without my daughter!"

"Mom, Fox Hills is on Staten Island. I'm in Lower Manhattan. It was nowhere near me. I promise I'm safe here. Now I need to go, I have some work to do." Not that I was actually going to do it. My chest hurt too much, but I didn't want to worry her by saying that.

"All right but call your father, not now, he's at work, but this weekend. He misses you. We both miss you. I really do wish you would just come home."

"I miss you both too, Mom, and I'll call Dad on Saturday. Promise. Love you," I replied.

"Love you too, sweetheart. Be safe."

"I will, Mom. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, my chest still ached. I took some slow deep breaths and exhaled slowly, but it did nothing to ease the pain. In fact, it actually felt worse. Finally, I decided to just close down my laptop, take my meds and try to relax. After swallowing the pills, I took a shower and got into my pjs, which was just a long cotton sleep shirt. It was still evening, only about eight p.m., but I wasn't hungry. The pain in my chest was making me too nauseous to even think of food. Instead, I closed the blackout curtains and pulled the cushions off my couch to pull out my bed. My apartment was a studio, so I made use of all the things I could to keep my living space open during the day. It didn't leave me with room for overnight guests, but it was comfortable for me. I had a small kitchen, the living area with two large closets and a large bay window that overlooked the city, and a full bathroom, which included a washer and dryer combo. In all, the entire apartment was probably about the size of my parents' master bedroom back in Akron, but despite that, I loved it.