She smiled. “Trust me, Ivy.”
My throat went sore. “Mommy?”
“Let’s go.”Chapter 2
We Three KingsHolding hands with my dead mother, I walked off the plane. That was the only way I could describe it. We went to the exit where people usually entered and left. But this time the door was closed, and the plane was high in the air. In the next moment, we walked through the door and floated over a dark expanse of royal blue clouds swimming in a dark, glittering sky.
The plane flew off without us, going in the other direction.
Gasping, I watched it leave.
“Ivy.”
I turned to her.
Mom still held my hand as we hovered over the Earth. Her haunting glow faded in and out. The rope around her neck was more than jewelry. It was like it was now part of her body. And it was so long. Now off the plane, the rope fell down and must’ve been thirty or so feet. With a closer view, I counted over twenty suitcases and handbags dangling from the rope.
I looked down but couldn’t make out anything but the ocean. Even the rope of suitcases didn’t touch it. “Holy—”
“No, sweetie.” Mom raised her free hand. “Don’t go there. I’m not even sure if it’s okay for me to do this, so let’s not bring anything around us.”
“Like what?”
“Other spirits, angels, demons, or even worse.”
“What is worse?”
“We have more to talk about than that.” She placed her hand in front and snapped. The sound echoed around us. Several clouds lined up and then formed into a long line of stairs. “There we go. It’s so dark here. Let’s get closer to the moon.”
I looked that way. The moon was a bright lamp in the tangled darkness of the sky.
Guiding me forward, she went to the first step.
I tapped my foot along the cloud unsure of its ability to hold me. I stepped on. The cloud held my spiritual weight. Mom let go of my hand, climbed the steps, and yanked at her rope. It kept dragging along.
At my side, she spoke. “I’m so glad you’re off those pills. They fogged your mind and clogged your spirit. It was impossible to communicate with you.”I moved out of the luggage’s path.
“Every time I came to you, it just brought nightmares that I couldn’t stop.” Mom lugged those bags with her. “So I tried to stay away, but this time of year always brings my spirit to your father and you. I can’t help it. We’re all united during Christmas.”
I was stunned by everything—the moment, setting, and all her confessions. “Why. . .are we united?”
“Probably because of my selfishness.”
“Selfishness?”
She stopped climbing and turned to me. “Your father decided to leave due to the baby.”
I swallowed. “The one he had with the woman he cheated on you with.”
“It’s odd talking to you about this now, even though you’re a grown woman. You’re close to thirty and still struggling with this. I thought you would get over it one day.”
I shook my head. “Get over it?”
“I’m sorry.”
I inched away from her. “I don’t like this dream.”
“I killed myself because I thought that no one loved me anymore. I swore that I was all alone. After hearing about the pregnancy, I drank myself to sleep and smoked my lungs until they burned. That wasn’t enough, and I felt even more alone. And the whole time you were there, loving me.”
I looked at her. My heart went heavy. My stomach twisted.
“Ivy, what’s wrong?”
Trembling, I turned around. “I don’t know what this dream is but I don’t like it. I want to wake up. Just let me—”
“You can’t. Not until we’re done.”
I faced her. “Done with what? You’re not real.”
“What is real, sweetheart?”
I held my mouth open.
“We’re done when I give you my message.”
Now it was my turn to cross my arms over my chest. “What message?”
“I won’t let you make the same mistake I did.”
“I’m not going to kill myself.”
“For now, but if you continue on this path. . .you will.”
“I won’t.”
“I can see where you’re going. Death is your future. Suicide, even.”
My voice rose in the clouds. “I’m doing fine!”
“Oh really?”
“I am a successful designer—”
“Yes. Yes. But where is the love in your life?”
“I love Holly and—”
“Penis, Ivy.”
I held out my hands. “Excuse me?”
“Where’s the penis?”
“I have tons of that, Mommy.” I raised my hands in the air. “What kind of dream is this?”
“You have people you mess around with, but there is no love. And I understand why you do it, sweetheart. It’s because of me.”
“It’s not completely because of you.”
“I believe I’m supposed to fix that in order to leave this. . .” She gestured around us. “This state that I’m in.”
“State?”
“I’ve been in some sort of limbo all these years. I’ve watched all of you live, but never have I gone to my peace.”