Saint eased my head forward. Our gazes met.
Saint let go of my hair and wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me to him. Leaning forward, he had his mouth so close to mine. “Your kisses are my favorite part of Christmas. My favorite part of you.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because they’re the first door to your body. The first way I can open you up and look inside. Sadly, it’s almost the only way you will open to me.”
“I try.”
“Try some more.”
Lifting my head, I parted my mouth. And his tongue was right there, slipping between my lips. He deepened the kiss and I dissolved into him. Saint was a magical master with kisses. He mesmerized my senses with that tongue. My head spun with him.
I wrapped my arms around his thick waist, needing to hold onto something. I was close to losing my balance. His hold on me tightened. His hard-muscular body pressed against my body, backing me into the wall. My breasts smoothed against his chest, yearning for his hands to touch them.
Why can’t I give all of me to him? He’s right. He has my heart.
The hardest thing was admitting it out loud. When I was away from Saint, I did my best to not think of him but still, I did. There were so many times that I fantasized about his thick muscles, his soft lips, and the way his hands seemed to swallow me up.
I drew a slow breath as he broke the kiss. The feel of his mouth remained burned on my lips. Heat buzzed under my skin.
He whispered against my mouth. “Ivy.”
My lips parted to speak, to explain how I struggled with my feelings for him. The words wouldn’t come out. My courage evaporated.
He watched me, studying my eyes as if he knew what was going on in my head. Perhaps he did.
Heat bloomed between my thighs. He returned to gripping my hair. Angling my head to the side, he lowered to my mouth and deepened the kiss.
Fuck, Saint.
I slipped my hands down to his hips and gripped them.
With his free hand, he reached down to my ass and squeezed it.
I moved from the kiss. “Fuck me. Please, Saint.”
“And what about our stipulations?” He groaned and slowly rocked his hard length into my core.
Damn it.
Every cell screamed for more, for him to throw me down, take out his cock, and slam it hard into me.
A throaty groan vibrated from his chest. He left my hold and glared at me.
Breathless, I whispered, “What?”
“Be mine.”
“Saint—” Before I could finish, he picked me up, carried me forward, and hurled me onto the bed. I landed on my back in a whomp that knocked the breath out of my lungs. My head bounced against the soft mattress. I stirred as he climbed onto the bed and hovered over me.
“There are stipulations, Ivy.” With his big hand, he grabbed my wrists, pulled them above my head, and pressed them against the headboard while he straddled me.
Desire shuddered through my darkened soul like lightning, leaving trails of sensual light down my spine. I longed for more of his warmth and weight. I needed his cock deep inside of me.
“You make me so fucking crazy, Ivy.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re fucking trouble.”
“I stay to myself and mind my business.”
Hurt covered his next words. “That’s the fucking problem.”
His pain twisted my heart.
I turned away.
He whispered, “Look at me.”
I did. My bottom lip quivered.
His eyes held mine, daring me to look away again. “Say it.”
My words went soft. “I love you.”
“Did you miss me?”
Shivering with need, I lifted my chin. My heart knocked against my chest. “I told you I did.”
“But I like to hear it as much as possible.” He lowered and brushed his lips against my mouth.
I arched up to taste more of him.
He moved out of my reach. “Tell me you’ll make this work. Finally.”
I shivered again. My heart ached. My eyes watered.
“Don’t be scared.”
A tear left my eye. I was so embarrassed. Had he not been holding my wrists, I would have quickly wiped it away.
“Ivy, I would never hurt or leave you.”
More tears left. I looked to the side, hoping he couldn’t see them in the shadowed light.
With his thumb, he wiped one of the tears away. That soft gentle touch incited more need than his kisses ever could. My nipples grew stiff.
His deep voice soothed me. “My sweet Ivy.”
Another tear left.
“Let me go.” I blinked. “I don’t like this.”
“No?” He lowered and kissed my tears. “Deal with it.”
“Let me go.”
He kissed me. The wave of need rose higher and swept me away. I moaned into his mouth. He slipped his leg between mine and separated my thighs. And I kissed him with no expectations of what would come next. While I craved him, I couldn’t have any hopes for more. I was lucky that he was so patient all these years. Most would have given up by now.