Nora looks horrified, but she’s trying to tamp down the horror so as not to offend the little girl. Tarek finally stops smiling, stealing an uncertain glance at my sister while he bends to scoop up the child.
“I need to borrow my brother real quick,” Nora says, forcing a smile for Autumn and Tarek before grabbing my arm and dragging me away.
“What the fuck is going on?” I ask without preamble.
“Okay, I may have slightly… lied,” she says, failing to find any better way of putting it, “when I told you I needed you to meet Tarek to see if he was a good guy or not. I already know he’s a great guy, I just really wanted you to meet him, Jasper, and I was afraid you wouldn’t come if I said that. You needed a task, something to accomplish to drag you here, so I gave you one.”
“You have a kid and you didn’t tell me? A kid old enough to walk, to…” I gesture back at the little girl, at a complete loss. I don’t spend much time around kids, so I don’t know exactly how old this one is, but she’s damn sure too old for me to just be finding out about.
My baby sister had a baby and she didn’t even tell me?
Nora rushes to fill in the blanks. “She’s not mine, not technically.”
“She just called you ‘mama’,” I tell her, my eyes widening in disbelief. “If she’s not yours, why the hell is she calling you mama?”
Casting an anxious look back at Tarek and the little girl, she grabs my arm and drags me a little farther away. “Her name is Amira, she’s Tarek’s daughter. He’s a single dad, I met him a few years ago—” Seeing my alarm, she rushes to correct herself, “We haven’t been together that long, but we are now, and it’s… it’s serious, Jasper. Really serious. That’s why I wanted you to meet him. Family is important to Tarek, and it was really important to him that he got to meet you since he knows I look up to you so much.” She sighs and looks down, then brings her gaze back to mine. “Amira calls me mama because I’m the only serious relationship he’s been in since she was born. I’m the only one she knows.”
I try to process all this as quickly as I can, but I won’t lie, I’m thrown. “So… I have a niece.”
Nora smiles. “Yeah. An adorable one,” she adds, her smile growing. “You’re gonna love her, Jasper. I really wanted you to meet them sooner, but you never come to anything. Remember over the summer when I suggested I take a trip to Chicago to see you for my birthday?”
I do, but it was a busy summer. Something possessed a pack of rabid Russians to try encroaching on our territory, and getting rid of them was like clearing out a fucking bed bug infestation. “Yeah,” I mutter.
“I wanted to introduce you guys then, but you told me not to come.”
Until she just reminded me, I completely forgot she wanted to visit, to be honest. “It was a bad time, I was busy with work,” I tell her, even though it’s no excuse. “I’m sorry, Nora. I haven’t been doing so great at the big brother gig lately, have I?”
Because she’s Nora, she immediately tries to bail me out, rushing to assure me she knows I’m busy and she doesn’t take it personally.
But she should take it personally. I love the hell out of my sister, and I can’t believe I’ve completely missed such monumental parts of her life.
She’s a mother, for Christ’s sake, and I didn’t even know she was serious about anyone.
Nora doesn’t know exactly what I do for a living—nobody does. I’m not close to anyone in my family, and as far as friends go… the only thing I have that’s even close would be my co-workers. They live the same lifestyle, they understand the risks and the schedule. We’re part of a counterculture normal people can’t relate to. Any outsiders we even try to befriend have to be kept at a distance, and even though we trust each other to a certain extent, there’s always a guard up. If you’re careful—and I am—you don’t want other guys like you knowing your weaknesses, and close relationships… well, they’re a good way to hurt someone.
There’s a reason one of my first thoughts when I nabbed Autumn was to find out who she loves.
If I loved anyone and certain people knew about it, that could put them in danger.
The last thing I wanted when Chicago was a battleground over the summer was my baby sister stepping foot in the city, but she couldn’t understand that. I never even tried to tell her.
In my line of work, it’s so much easier to be alone. Disconnected from anyone else. Completely solitary.