My headphones were under my pillow where I’d left them, so I plugged them into my phone, shoved the buds in my ears, and played the first song my thumb found.
“Love and War” by Fleurie played at full volume, drowning out the sound of Loren fucking someone else after pretending to covet me.
Why the hell was I even upset?
I’d known the moment the words left his lips that they were a lie. Loren chose to make her a pawn because I refused to play his fool.
Whatever.
It was his aftermath to deal with.
I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I was jerked awake by shouting.
“You’re drunk?”
My headphones had fallen out, allowing me to hear the argument taking place at the front of the bus.
Rich was back.
Disoriented, I touched my cheek, feeling the dried tears I must have shed in my sleep. My subconscious must have needed toughening up. There would be no crying over Loren James.
Not wanting them to know I was awake, I carefully settled onto my back before staring at the ceiling of my bunk.
“We agreed to give up this shit, Lo! Look what it did to Calvin.”
“Fuck Calvin and fuck you. If I have to look at Braxton’s dumb fucking face for the next year, I plan to be shit-faced while doing it. You got a problem? Make her leave.”
“Do you hear yourself right now?”
“Yup.” I heard something crash as Loren stumbled around. “Shit, man. I must not be drunk enough.”
“Just go to bed, Lo. I can’t look at you right now.”
“Why does everyone think I give a shit?” Loren slurred. “Cuz I don’t.”
“You felt the need to drown yourself in whiskey. I’d say you’re sending mixed signals. I can’t believe Houston let you drink.”
“He doesn’t know,” Loren slurred some more. “He’s been with Xavier since we left the show. Dumbass really thinks he can reshape the world just for her. She’ll never fit because they know we’ll never accept her. She’s dooooomed.”
Loren started snickering, making Rich sigh. “Please shut the fuck up.”
I stilled when they passed through the bunk area and listened as the door to the bedroom opened. A moment later, I heard Rich grunt and then the sound of a body hitting the mattress. Loren was still slurring shit that I couldn’t make out. Rich was moving around, and once the snoring started, the door to the bedroom closed. I tracked Rich’s sneakered steps as he moved down the narrow passage and held my breath when he stopped in front of my bunk.
“I know you’re awake,” he whispered, causing my heart to feel like it was falling. “I know you were listening. Loren didn’t mean any of it, Braxton. You don’t want to believe me right now, but I know him better than you do. He doesn’t know how to handle what he feels because he’s never felt it before. Just…just give him some time.”
I couldn’t see him so my imagination conjured Jericho’s sad silver eyes and the gold flecks in them pronounced as he pleaded with me to understand his best friend.
I didn’t respond or make a peep. Nothing to indicate I’d heard a word of his bullshit. Thankfully, Rich didn’t take too long to give up and walk away. Closing my eyes, I began counting the moments I had left.
I would count every second until I never had to see them again.Morning came, and I decided I needed another shower.
I could still feel Loren’s roaming hands and his hard body pressed against mine. Before last night, I’d wanted more, and now I just wanted to forget.
Climbing down from my bunk, it took me a moment to find my balance, telling me how deeply I’d slept. It’s not what I expected after a hard night, but perhaps I’d been more exhausted than troubled.
Houston and Rich were both sleeping soundly in their bottom bunks. I wouldn’t allow myself to wonder how late Houston had stayed out or what he’d been doing and with whom.
Opening the bedroom door, I tiptoed inside. As expected, Loren was sprawled face down across the bed in yesterday’s clothes and snoring. Loudly.
Flipping him off as if he could see me, I hurried for the bathroom. I wanted to be done before he woke—if he even could this early while hungover.
I hated him.
After my shower, I was staring at my reflection in the mirror I’d wiped clear of the fog when the door opened. Loren’s black eyes were barely open as he shuffled inside the bathroom. If he noticed me, he ignored me. I watched through the mirror as he stood over the toilet and quickly looked away when he fumbled open his belt and pants.
I lost my train of thought.
How could I have one when his dick was out right now?
From this angle, I’d be able to see it if I dared to look. If he aimed to tempt me, that ship sailed and sank to the bottom of this unforgiving ocean. If he wanted to piss me off by pretending that he missed me standing in a bathroom the size of a shoebox, he was succeeding. He didn’t have to know that, though. I didn’t have to react.