I woke up for the second time that morning, and the notable difference was that I wasn’t alone. The bus was still rocking, but I barely noticed it.
I noticed the hand underneath my shirt.
I noticed how it palmed my tit as if it belonged there.
If only I wore bras to bed. Honestly, I didn’t get those chicks. I hardly wore them when I was awake.
Loren’s audacity didn’t surprise me. Nor did the thrill I felt by it either. I’d been asking for trouble when I allowed Loren to snuggle me in the first place.
There was too much between us to pretend nothing was there at all. We’d already ruined each other, and when the pain began to dull, we stupidly ask for more.
“I know you’re awake,” he mumbled before kissing my neck and squeezing me until my hard nipple stabbed his palm. Realizing the bunk had grown darker despite the sun rising while we slept, I glanced over my shoulder.
The privacy curtain had been drawn.
Whatever was about to happen, Loren had planned it. Probably from the moment he put me in his bed. I guess he had to get his beauty rest first. With the two of us being the only ones awake, there was no one to stop us from causing more trouble.
“I’m awake.”
I didn’t object when he licked his thumb before finding my nipple and teasing it. “Want to play?”
“You were an ass to me, Loren. Why would I?”
Why indeed. Secretly, I wanted him to pull down my shorts and slip inside me in the dark. No one had to know.
“You fucked Houston,” he reminded me, but there was no anger in his voice. “And I’m not sure what you did with Rich, but, baby, I’m pissed.”
“We weren’t exclusive.”
“And now we’ll never be.” I felt him skim his lips over my shoulder. “We can still have some fun, though.”
Like icy shards cutting me deep and leaving me bleeding, I shut down. “Get off me.”
When he pretended not to hear me, I took his hand and flung it away. I felt the loss, but I ignored it. I tried to climb over him and leave, but he pushed me back and climbed between my legs. There wasn’t enough space for me to fight him and win.
“Shh, stop,” he whispered when I squirmed anyway. I was a second from damaging his pride and calling out to Houston when he said, “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you.” I turned my head away to stare at the drawn curtain.
“Just say when as long as the answer is now.” From my peripheral, I could see him smiling down at me. He knew the effect his smile had on me. He knew how often it got me wet.
“I’m so sick of your toxic, narcissistic shit. Either treat me right or leave me alone.” Still refusing to look at Loren, I shook my head. I’d done nothing but dole ultimatums since meeting these assholes.
“That’s an easy one.” Leaning down, he brushed the tips of our noses together and then our lips. I hated how sweet his kisses were. They were the dangerous kind. The ones that convinced you to put up with more than you should. “I really am sorry, baby.”
“Are you?” I turned my head, letting our eyes meet. His gaze reminded me of the way light deceived when it broke the surface of the water. You never realize how deep the water reached until you were already drowning. “Prove it.”
“How?”
He sounded eager, and I was almost sorry for intending to make him regret it. “I want to sightsee today, and I want you to take me.”
“Done.”
“I’m not finished.” He looked wary now, and my sweet smile of false reassurance didn’t wipe the look away. “I want Houston and Jericho to come, I want you to be nice to them, and I want you to be nice to me. At least for today.”
I’ll just have to figure a way to convince him when tomorrow comes.
“You want me to do what?”
I didn’t repeat myself. He’d heard me the first time.
Blowing frustrated air through his nose, he considered my proposal.
“This isn’t a good idea,” he warned with a shake of his head. He had the cutest bed hair. The blond strands were ruffled from sleep, and I liked the look on him.
As he stared down at me, I felt sixteen again—only he’d be the cute boy next door. I wished I’d known him then. I wished it had been Loren I’d given my virginity and let use my body. I knew he would have stood by me.
“I don’t care. I’m done living my life afraid of what tomorrow brings.”
“Cool, so when we kill each other?”
I dug my nails into his naked back. “You’re going to be nice, remember?”
Loren rolled his eyes, and then slowly, his demeanor changed. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him look so defeated as he stared at the bedspread beneath me. “Tell that to them,” he mumbled.