Lilac

“Is this how it will always be?” I snapped as I pulled away from him. “I hurry up when you want, and I wait when you want?”

First, they wouldn’t allow me the time to consider the implication of being with all three of them. Now they were keeping secrets and expecting the courtesy of patience—virtues they failed to show me.

Maybe I’m the one who should be having second thoughts.

I was ready to walk away, if only for a moment to breathe and think, as I backed up another step.

I didn’t get further than that before Loren, who’d snuck up behind me, kept me trapped between them.

“Something we should know?” he casually inquired while he left me facing Houston. His tone was sinister, like he’d read my thoughts.

Ignoring the metallic smell permeating the air, I lifted my chin, hoping it would be a warning to them.

“You’re both dicks?”

Loren’s chuckle was quiet as he gently pushed me forward to get me going when Houston stepped away and led us down the forested trail.

“You’re not worried about being recognized?” I asked them when we passed people jogging or walking here and there.

Houston shrugged as he kept his gaze fixed ahead and his jaw tight. “It’s home.”

His meaning became clear when we encountered a few who recognized Houston and Loren—and even me—and welcomed them back before going on their way.

Here in Portland, they didn’t have to be gods.

They were able to be the men they were underneath. And I got to enjoy them too.

It was a ten-minute half-a-mile hike to the old stone ruins. I didn’t understand why they brought me here since the crumbling structure covered in moss, missing a roof, and had nothing around but woods and more woods wasn’t much to look at.

I didn’t understand until Loren informed me that Bound’s first performance had taken place here. At Witch’s Castle. I looked around, feeling my resolve weaken as Loren recounted that night, allowing me to see the face of their humble beginnings with my own eyes. It had been just another high school kegger in front of a crowd of fifty, but it counted.

It counted because I knew despite the secrets they kept that they were trying.

Houston, Loren, and Rich were letting me in.

They were stumbling through the dark, but they were determined to find their way. For that promise, as the scent of vanilla and morning dew mixed, I would be patient.

We stayed out for hours as they showed me around the city where they grew up. The sun had long set when Houston drove us through the iron gates that separated the public land from the private hideaway Bound had procured for themselves. They’d left most of it untouched and as wild as they had found it, only carving out what they needed and allowing the rest of the forest to cloak them. The seclusion was terrifying and liberating at the same time.

But I knew it couldn’t last.

Eventually, the tour would end, and I’d have to go back to L.A. We still had months before that happened, so I wouldn’t dwell on it now.

When their home came into view, the first thing I noticed was Jericho’s green and black sport bike parked out front and felt nerves tie my stomach into endless knots.

The house was quiet when we made it inside. Houston and Loren went straight to their rooms to shower off the day while I drifted to the guest bedroom, wondering if Jericho would find me.

I realized he wouldn’t have to when I walked into the bedroom and found him in my bed.

His eyes were closed, dark lashes brushing his cheeks, pierced lips subtly parted, and his chest slowly rising up and down while he lay on his side with the muscled arm his head was propped on stretched toward my pillow.

He’d fallen asleep waiting for me.

Waiting to finally have the talk that I fought and failed all day to push from my mind.

He was still fully dressed and entirely in black—plain T-shirt, expensive jeans, and high-top sneakers. The dark color only emphasized his pale skin.

As quietly as I could, I tiptoed back out of the room and to the guest bath across the hall. He hadn’t been snoring as usual, which meant he might not have been that deep in his sleep. I didn’t want to risk waking him since I knew he’d been having trouble.

I even caught Loren two nights ago forcing him to bed when I woke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Neither of them had noticed me standing there watching them. Rich had seemed out of it, which I guess too many sleepless nights in a row would do to you, and Loren had been too focused on his task.

He’d been gentle with Rich, which surprised me at the time and even now. I couldn’t forget how softly Loren spoke with his hand on Jericho’s back as he coaxed his best friend to bed. That tender moment belied the tension I’d glimpsed in Loren’s shoulders just before they disappeared inside Rich’s room.