Zero Regret (Lost Kings MC 13)

“What about Murphy?”

She considers the question before shaking her head. “Nah, he buys her all that unicorn stuff because she asks for it. I think he was hoping she’d be more of a tomboy.”

“She’s so little,” Hope says. “I’m sure she’ll go through a lot of phases.”

Heidi stands and clears the table. While she’s at the sink washing dishes, I lean closer to Hope. “Gender neutral toys, huh?”

She leans in too. “Heidi makes me feel about a hundred years old. I didn’t realize that was such a big thing until Alexa.”

I sit back and chuckle. “I imagine college has exposed her to all sorts of theories that will shake up this place.”

Hope laughs uncontrollably. “Oh, god. If only you knew how on point that was. Charlotte and I have done our part as well.”

“Two female lawyers? Yeah, I can imagine.”

She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “What about you? Are you going to look for another job with the legislature now that you’re back?”

Even though she’s not asking to be nosy or mean, the question sends a current of revulsion through me. I have to remind myself that she doesn’t know why I left. “No. That’s the last thing I want to do. What about you? Are you going to start taking on clients again?”

“Gosh, no.” She glances over at Grace, happily snoozing in her chair. “I mean, we all know how much I hated being an attorney—”

“From the moment you left law school?”

She laughs. “Around that time.”

“You and Sophie both.”

Her mouth turns down and she glances away. “How is she, anyway? I realize I haven’t asked.”

“Honestly? We lost touch too.” I don’t want to explain that Sophie was the only one I told about what Senator Kelly had done and she not so subtly placed the blame on me. After that, I was done. She was between rehabs at the time, but I still haven’t been able to accept that as an excuse. “My brother still talks to her.”

A bolt of fear strikes me. Would she tell Alex? Did she already tell him? Until recently, I didn’t even know they were still in contact. Shit. Then again, she’d treated it like a joke. Maybe she doesn’t even remember my tearful phone call.

“Lilly, what’s wrong?” Hope asks.

“Nothing, sorry. I was just thinking. Alex said she’s been in and out of a few rehabs.”

“Jeez, I feel terrible I never realized how serious her drinking problem was.” She shrugs. “I chalked it up to her being a little wild in law school. Figured she’d settle down.”

The door in the corner opens and Rock steps into the living room.

“Hey, Lilly,” he greets.

“I didn’t even know you were home.”

“He comes in from downstairs a lot,” Hope explains.

“Is Z with you?”

“Nope. Not sure what he’s up to.”

Heidi and I share a look. Z said club business, but I suppose Rock might not be privy to whatever Z’s up to at the downstate clubhouse. Murphy’s helping Z out so he probably doesn’t check in with Rock about every little thing.

Club stuff is exhausting. I’m sort of glad it’s not my business and trust Z to tell me anything important.

“Pop-pop!” Alexa sings when she notices Rock’s home. He picks her up to say hello. Still holding Alexa, he drops down on the couch to listen to her and Chance. My son’s a little reluctant at first, but Rock encourages him to join them. I’m not sure Alexa appreciates the intrusion. I get the feeling she has a lot of “Pop-pop’s” undivided attention.

Hope chuckles. “Murphy started that as a joke, but I think it’s sticking.”

“Just wait til Grace starts talking,” he mutters.

Heidi drops a heavy bag on the table. “Are you sure you want to go over this now, Hope?”

Hope glances over and checks on Grace before answering. “Now before she wakes up would be good.”

Something pink and sparkly pokes out of Heidi’s bag. Thinking it’s a kid’s toy, I pull it out.

It’s definitely a toy. But not the kind I imagined. Teasing the edge of the bag down lower, I peer inside. “Heidi, do you have a giant bag of vibrators?” I whisper.

Hope chokes and laughs. Heidi’s cheeks turn red and she reaches over to snatch the bag away. “It was a business venture, you know, to earn extra money for the wedding. Then Trinity sold me out to everyone at family dinner, so now I’m providing the club with,” she sneaks a glance at the kids, “products for the whole clubhouse.”

I fall back against the chair, laughing. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in weeks. “Oh my god,” I squeal. “I can picture your brother’s reaction to that.”

“Charlotte made me order stuff for her...for them.” She makes a gagging sound. “Do you have any idea how disturbing that was?” She slides her accusatory gaze Hope’s way. “Never mind my favorite aunt and uncle.”

Hope’s laughing so hard she presses her forehead to the table. “We…we…were…trying…to support your new career path.” She bursts into giggles again after getting the sentence out.

“Do you see what I have to deal with?” Heidi grins as she says it so I don’t think she’s as upset as she wants us to believe. “Ugh, Uncle Sparky asked for like a hundred and fifty,” she lowers her voice to a whisper, “cock rings. I don’t even want to know.”

I catch Hope’s eye and wink at her. “Do you have a catalog, Heidi? I’ll—”

“No way. Uncle Z and Uncle Dex are the only ones who didn’t traumatize me by ordering anything.”

“Ravage didn’t either,” Hope says. “I remember he was quite vocal about his opposition to toys.”

“Well, he had a come-to-dildo moment because he ordered stuff.” Heidi shudders. “I have nightmares about it.”

I choke and sputter on my water and decide to set it down until we finish this discussion.

Hope’s laughing so hard, she wakes Grace, who starts laughing when she sees her mom. “Aww, did we wake you, precious? It’s your Aunt Heidi’s fault.”

“Uh, I’d argue it’s Aunt Lilly’s fault. She poked through my bag.”

Something about Heidi casually referring to me as anyone’s Aunt Lilly sends a warm feeling sliding through my chest. “It’s true.” I reach over the table for Grace. “Can I hold her for a minute?”

“Sure.”

“Ah, you’re getting so big, Grace.”

She waves her fist in the air and grabs on to my finger.

Now that Grace is awake, Chance tip toes over to us. Alexa follows and they both want to say hello.

“I should probably change her.” Hope stands and takes her daughter. Rock ends up following her down the hall.

Heidi reaches over and zips up her bag before picking Alexa up and setting her in her lap. “Did you and Chance have fun? Did you share?”

“Yeth.”

Chance gives me this raised eyebrow she’s-full-of-shit face that looks so much like Z’s, I can’t help laughing. I don’t think he’s mastered sarcasm yet, but it’s still funny.

Heidi pulls a couple of folders out and starts flipping through cut out pictures of flowers, cakes, and other assorted wedding stuff. She lays it all out on the table in front of us and studies it for a few minutes before rearranging.

Alexa grabs for one of the photos and Heidi lets her play with it.

“You sho

uld almost be done with everything, right?”

“Eh.” Heidi shrugs. “I haven’t had a lot of time. I don’t want to go nuts, but I want everything to be pretty. Casual, but fun. Elegant but a little bit country.”

“Uh, okay.” I chuckle and peer over at her pictures of centerpieces. My eyes immediately glaze over. Maybe I’m not marriage material. The thought of doing all this stuff makes me want to grab Heidi’s silver calligraphy pen and stab myself in the eye.

And the idea of inviting my parents? Even my brother who’s gotten a little better around Z. How would he behave at a wedding with all of Z’s biker brothers around? Good god, they’d probably end up burying him in the backyard somewhere.

Is there a way I can skip straight to the wife part?

Chapter Forty-One

Z

At first, I tried not to make too many changes to downstate. I was here to get them through a difficult time, not rearrange the clubhouse. But the longer I’m down here, the less tolerance I have for living in filth.

“Enough of this bullshit of depending on the girls to clean up for us. Hire a damn cleaning crew,” I bark at Hustler during our next meeting.

“Bro, we don’t like strangers in the clubhouse.”

“Yeah, unless they’re here to suck your dick and make you a sandwich,” I growl. “Grow the fuck up. Find someone who’s bonded, have ‘em sign an NDA, and watch ‘em like a fuckin’ hawk while they’re here, but this is ridiculous.”

Next, Murphy prods me into fixing up one of the empty rooms next to the pool as a gym. After church, he takes me downstairs to show me the room he wants to remodel.

He pats his gut. “I’ve been working too hard to be losing my gains because I’m sittin’ around here all the time.”

“Give me a break, you just want to fit into your wedding tux or whatever Heidi’s making you wear.”

“That too.”

I point to the pool. “Get a company in here to clean that up, fix it, do whatever the fuck they need to do. It’s disgusting.”

“Why are you telling me?”

“Because you’re standing here annoying me about a gym. For the immediate future, fitness for this clubhouse is your responsibility. The pool falls under fitness.”