“Hell no. He thought that was beneath him.”
“Hmm…sounds like my family. I take it he’s not proud that your president of a motorcycle club?”
I snort and then full-out laugh. “That would be a no. I’m pretty sure he tells people he only has two sons now and that’s fine with me.”
Lilly makes an irritated humming sound, like she’s pissed on my behalf but doesn’t want to talk about anything unpleasant today. “Go on.”
“I had this old piece of shit BMX bicycle I loved when I was a kid. Pedaled that thing all over my neighborhood. Got into lots of trouble.”
“Romancing the neighborhood girls?”
I can’t help laughing. “Yeah, probably. Worked my ass off from the time I was tall enough to push a mower for my dad’s landscaping business, though. Needed to blow off steam. He thought having children meant free labor.”
“So, you were a horny, but rebellious and driven teenager.”
“Hell yeah, I was.”
“How’d you come up with the money for a motorcycle?”
I glance over and grin. “I had my own side-hustle. My father’s company mostly had large commercial contracts—”
“How’d he get away with child labor?”
I shrug. “People looked the other way. Not so sure he wouldn’t be questioned about it now, but back then no one said anything.”
“Go on.”
“He didn’t waste time with small residential contracts. So, on my off hours, I’d “borrow” his equipment and mow all the neighbors’ yards for cash.”
“Wow. You must’ve been exhausted.”
“I didn’t care. I wanted out from under his thumb and that was the only way I could figure to do it. My lazy-ass brothers would just go home and play video games, but I’d keep on working until the sun went down.”
“So, you saved up and let me guess, your first purchase was a motorcycle.”
“Yup. Even better than a BMX. You could go a fuck lot faster and farther.” I laugh at what a dumbass teenager I was. “I didn’t stop to consider that a motorcycle I only paid a couple hundred bucks for probably wasn’t in the best condition. Broke down in Empire.”
“Ouch. And I’m guessing you didn’t want to call your dad?”
“Hell no. He threatened to kick me out when I brought ‘that piece of shit’ into his driveway.”
“What’d you do?”
“That’s how I met Rock. He stopped to help me out.”
“Really?”
“Bikers aren’t all surly bastards. We stop and help out one another all the time. I must’ve looked extra pathetic, though. Rock helped me fix it. Taught me to ride properly. Helped me get my license.”
“You were driving without a motorcycle license?”
“Why do you sound so shocked? Outlaw, baby.” I glance over and catch her laughing.
“Right, sorry. I forgot for a minute. So, then you joined the club?”
“Not right away. He started bringing me around the club. Had to hang around for a while before they’d even let me prospect. Prove I was trustworthy. Could keep my mouth shut and be loyal.”
“I take it you passed with flying colors.”
“Eventually. Found a better family than the one I’d been born into. Grinder, Lucky, Rock, Wrath—”
“Wait, I think you’ve mentioned Grinder, but who’s Lucky?”
Shit. I wish I hadn’t brought him up. So many bad memories of a good brother who died way too young. Maybe it’s running Sway’s club that’s fucking with my head. Bringing up old memories of events that almost destroyed our club. “He was an officer when I started prospecting and patched-in. He died. It’s a long story.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Club life only works when there’s an established set of rules. All the brothers have to accept and commit to those rules.”
“I get that. It’s not about one individual, it’s about the club as a whole, right?”
“Exactly.” And from what I can tell, Sway seemed to forget that over time. I was busy in the early days helping to rebuild the upstate charter, so I can’t say whether it was money or power that fucked Sway up, but somewhere along the way he stopped putting the brotherhood first.
“We’re a circle and depend on every brother to watch our backs. Loyalty to the brotherhood has to come first.”
“Then leadership and loyalty are everything to a president running a club like yours,” she says quietly.
“That bonding and brotherhood is what allows us to come close to true freedom.”
“Is it really free, though, if you have so many rules to follow for the club?”
She’s not asking to be argumentative. I sense she genuinely wants to understand this life I’m pulling her into. It’s only fair I give her honest answers. “You have to give up some things in order to be free. It’s the only way a brotherhood like ours works. Not many men can do it. Their egos stop them. Or their fears hold them back. But when it all comes together, it’s a true family.”
“Wow.” Lilly shakes her head. “There aren’t a lot of people who can say that.”
“I know. That’s why we guard what we have so zealously. It’s not just because we’re a pack of testosterone-inflated cavemen.”
She laughs.
“Well, maybe a little bit of that.” I wink at her.
“What else do you need?”
“A good woman by my side. Not every club sees the value in that, I’ll be honest. But we do. And by we, I mean upstate. That was part of what drove the two charters apart.”
“Ah, it all makes sense now.”
“Women are an asset to the club. Valued.”
She’s quiet for a few seconds. “I’ve witnessed that over and over. The way Rock is with Hope. The respect Wrath has for Trinity. That first opened my eyes that maybe this club stuff wasn’t as bad as I thought.”
“Well, I’ll have to thank them for that then.”
Lilly
The heart-to-heart with Z on the way up here lingers like a warm, fuzzy blanket wrapped around me. It helps me understand why he’s so willing to do anything for the club. Not that I ever had any illusions he’d leave the club for me or anything else. Nor would I ever ask him to.
So many motorcycles are lined up along the side of Teller’s driveway, I start wondering if he’s opened up a shop. Then I spot Hope’s car and tucked farther down by the shed, Heidi’s.
“Kids ruin all your fun, huh?”
“Nah, I’m guessing Rock and Murphy rode down early this morning to help Teller set up the place. And by set up the place I mean, Teller and Murphy bickered like children and Rock had to threaten them with violence to shut them up and get some work done.”
Laughter pours out of me, because I’d certainly witnessed one or two situations like that when Rock stayed at the house with us.
Chance wakes up when the truck stops and Carter meets us, holding Alexa in his arms.
“Illy!” Alexa yells and holds out her arms. My heart melts. She’s such a sweetheart. Before spending so much time with her, I did
n’t think I even liked any other children except Chance. I realize I’ve missed her and take her from Carter for a second.
“What are you up to?”
“Thickens!” She points to a corner of the yard with a little house and fencing around it.
“Teller has some hens,” Carter explains.
I start laughing. “Better keep Rooster away from them.”
“He’s already been told he’s not allowed in there.” Carter laughs. He leans into the open door. “Hey, buddy. You coming out?”
Z holds out his hand to Carter and pulls him in, slapping him on the back. “Good to see you, kid.”
Chance is more than happy to take off with Carter and Alexa.
We make our way over to the heart of the party slowly. Z introduces me to a brother who I’m pretty sure I’ve met before, Bricks and his girlfriend Winter. Their kids are slightly older but don’t seem annoyed about hanging out with the little guys.
“Welcome home, Z,” Bricks gives him a hearty hug and back slap. “Had us worried for a minute.”
“Had myself worried, brother. Not out of the woods yet, but it’s good to be out.”
“You’ll beat this.”
That seems to be the theme of the party. Everyone’s upbeat and positive. It honestly helps me have a better outlook about the situation. I won’t lose Z. I can’t. It’s not an option.
I spot Charlotte by the house. “I’m going to see if she needs help.”
I finally track her down in the kitchen.
“Oh my God, I’m a mess today.” She laughs and hefts a cooler full of cans of soda. “Can you grab the door?”
“Do you want help?”
“I’ve got it.” She jerks her head at the slender girl mixing salads on the counter. “Maybe help Swan.”
“Hey, Swan.” I’m pretty sure I’ve met her before. “I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
She gives me a soft smile. “I’ve been around. Trying to stay out of the old ladies way once…never mind. Hi, Lilly. It’s good to see you again.”