Three pairs of eyes swivelled in his direction, all of them betraying varying degrees of guilt. The twins’ he could understand. Rebecca’s…Uncomfortably he acknowledged that it was no one’s fault but his own, if she looked at him with the same half nervous, half resentful wariness of her much younger relatives.
In the past he had had good reason for acting the way he had, but yesterday…
‘Downstairs, you two,’ he commanded, but Rebecca shook her head and said, ‘Let them stay.’
Let them stay, because that way they’ll be a barrier between us, was what she was really saying, and both of them knew it.
‘I could read you a story if you like,’ offered Peter, obviously determined to make amends for past misdemeanours. ‘Uncle Frazer always reads to me when I don’t feel well. I like it best when he sits in the big chair in our room and we sit on his knee.’
Rebecca would have given everything she owned and then some more not to be looking at Frazer at that particular moment. She had a brief and all too illuminating mental image of the chair in question, and of herself and not the twins curled up against the hard warmth of Frazer’s body. She blinked desperately to banish the tormenting image, then flushed scarlet as she saw the way Frazer was looking at her.
‘Rebecca can’t sit on Frazer’s knee, she’s too big,’ Helen was saying scornfully to her brother, creating a much-needed diversion, although Rebecca could have wished she had chosen a much less dangerous topic.
‘And besides, it’s the very last place you’d choose to be, isn’t it?’ Frazer murmured to her, while the twins argued. ‘Now if I were Rory…’
It was odd that relief could make her feel so flat and sharp with disappointment.
‘Well, you aren’t, are you?’ she said acidly. Was he really so blind? Did he honestly not know how she felt about him? She ought to have been glad, but instead she felt angry and hurt, which was ridiculous. The last thing she wanted was for him to guess how she really felt.
* * *
THE TWINS spent most of the morning with her. The knowledge that she had not betrayed them to Frazer seemed to have broken down some of the barriers between them, although Rebecca knew that both of them were still wary with her.
When the doctor came he frowned and announced that the congestion on her lungs was not showing any sign of improvement, but when she protested that she was feeling fine and that the last thing she needed was to spend more time in bed, he agreed that she could get up, but warned her that she was not to attempt to do anything more than sit quietly in a warm room; and when she tentatively mentioned the possibility of travelling home, he was horrified.
It was unfortunate that Frazer should knock on her door and walk in just as the doctor was explaining to her that it was impossible for her to even think of travelling home for at least a week. He frowned as he listened to the conversation, then when the doctor had finished said coolly, ‘I’m afraid Rebecca is used to a far more exciting life than we lead up here…hence her urgent desire to return to London.’
She waited until the doctor had gone before hissing at him, ‘You know very well the only reason I want to go back is that I know how much you hate having me here!’
‘The only reason…’ Frazer’s eyebrows rose. ‘What about these impetuous male admirers of yours we hear so many reports of? Your mother’s letters to Maud are full of constant references to your social popularity. Maud complains that she barely sees the same man’s name twice in your mother’s accounts of your affairs.’
Rebecca glowered at him, wondering if his use of the word affair was deliberate, and mentally cursing her mother, who had obviously very valiantly indulged in a maternally defensive embroidery exercise of the truth.
‘Frazer…what did the doctor say?’Aunt Maud came in, looking worried. ‘I saw him on his way out and he says that Rebecca isn’t any better.’
‘Yes, I am,’ Rebecca lied. ‘He told me I could get up and go downstairs, and I’m sure that by tomorrow I’ll be well enough to leave.’
‘Rubbish! You’re not going anywhere, my girl, until I’m convinced that you’re well enough to do so!’
The sharp pronouncement stunned Rebecca, until she realised that Frazer, with his strong sense of family and duty, was probably thinking of her parents and their feelings if they discovered that their daughter had been allowed to return home before she was fully recovered. His concern certainly couldn’t contain anything personal…any fears for her as an individual.
She wanted to tell him that she would leave when she chose, but Aunt Maud was already fussing round her, telling her she looked far too thin and frail, saying they would light the sitting-room fire and that she could sit there once the room was properly warm.
Despite the fact that Frazer did not approve, or perhaps because of it, Rebecca secretly admitted, she insisted on getting up to join the rest of the family for lunch. When Frazer told her grimly that she was being a fool, she tilted her chin and said defiantly, ‘I feel perfectly well enough to get up, Frazer,’ then added dangerously and untruthfully, ‘So well, in fact, that I’m sure I’ll be able to go home tomorrow.’
‘Liar,’ Frazer said unemotionally. ‘If you feel anything like the way you look, and I suspect you do, you’d be doing exactly what the doctor wants you to do and staying right here in bed.’
Rebelliously Rebecca refused to listen either to him or to her own awareness of her body’s vulnerability. She had stubbornly refused to accept her own doctor’s warning earlier in the year and had suffered the consequences, but this time it was different, she argued; this time she was nowhere near as ill.
But neither was she completely well, as she discovered over lunch. Frazer had offered to carry her downstairs, but she had grimly refused his offer of assistance.
Now the twins’ chatter was making her head ache; her throat felt sore and dry, and she suspected that on top of everything else she was well on the way to having an appalling head cold.
She was frankly relieved when, after lunch, Frazer announced that he had work to do and took himself off to his study.
‘I don’t know why he hasn’t gone back to the States,’ Rebecca grumbled to Aunt Maud, for once letting her guard down, as the older woman kept her company in front of the sitting-room fire.
Despite the fact that it was summer, the stonewalled house was cool enough inside to merit the luxury of lighting the fire. Aunt Maud had never been totally convinced that central heating was beneficial to one’s health, so the radiators at Aysgarth were very rarely more than lukewarm, and today Rebecca was very conscious of the chilliness of the old house.
‘There wouldn’t be any point, my dear. The tour has been cancelled. Privately, I suspect Frazer was never very keen on the idea in the first place. You know how he feels about the Institute. I suspect he believes the place would collapse without him. Men!’
‘Well, if he feels like that, why doesn’t he go there?’ Rebecca muttered under her breath, forgetting that Aunt Maud could have remarkably sharp ears when it suited her.
‘Rebecca, how can he?’ Aunt Maud reproached. ‘When he’s so worried about you! If he hadn’t arrived when he did…’ She gave a shudder that for once wasn’t theatrical, suddenly looking very old and surprisingly frail for such a vigorous person. ‘What on earth should I have said to your parents? When I think of what those appalling children tried to do.’ She fixed a stern stare on Rebecca when Rebecca tried to interrupt her and said fiercely, ‘And don’t try to convince me that they didn’t realise your danger. Frazer might choose to believe that, but I’m far from convinced. I’ve said it before and I shall say it again: the pair of them should be at boarding school. Either that or Frazer will have to find himself a wife to take proper charge of them. It’s all very well Rory saying that they’re better off here with Frazer, but Frazer has his own life to lead. If he shouldn’t
decide to marry…’
If…Rebecca licked suddenly dry lips, aching to ask her great-aunt if she suspected that Frazer might in actual fact be involved enough with someone to be thinking of marriage, and yet terrified of doing so. Even now, when she knew how hopeless her own feelings were, she couldn’t bear to hear that Frazer loved someone else. How ridiculous! Her feelings were more suitable for a teenager than a grown woman.
‘You’ve gone very pale, dear. Perhaps a cup of tea?’ Aunt Maud suggested solicitously, which was how Rebecca came to be on her own when the sitting-room door opened, and a familiar voice exclaimed, ‘Rebecca, my very favourite second cousin! What on earth are you doing here? Don’t say my dear brother has relented at long last and admitted you back into the fold?’
And then she was being dragged to her feet and kissed provocatively on the mouth by Rory, while she struggled to protest both at his far from fraternal kiss, and at the unexpected shock of seeing him.
She was still in his arms when the twins suddenly burst into the room, followed by Frazer, and Rebecca was mortified by the contemptuous look Frazer gave her.
How could she protest that it was not her fault, that Rory had taken her off guard, and that his flirtatious and possessive manner towards her was, she was sure, designed purely and simply to annoy his elder brother?
‘How very thoughtful of you, dear brother, to arrange for my favourite cousin to be here to welcome me!’
Had Rory always been so ready to taunt Frazer? Rebecca had never noticed it before, but she had been too young then to be aware of the undercurrents in people’s relationships. She had seen them simply as brothers, and of the two of them, her attention had always been focused more on Frazer than Rory.
‘What are you doing here, Rory?’ Frazer demanded curtly, ignoring his comment.
‘I had to come to London for a head office interview for a new promotion. So we thought we’d see how the brats were doing.’ Rory’s eyes narrowed mockingly. ‘Don’t tell me that I’m not welcome?’