Kissmas Wishes (Love In All Seasons 3)

“With the tools?” I grin, expecting her to keep up with the innuendo, but she doesn't. A dark shadow has covered her eyes and I don't know her well enough to know how to make it pass by. “So maybe we can get together again while I’m in town?”

She runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t know, Brooks. I had fun, but I’m not interested in casual sex. I mean, a hook-up is one thing, but otherwise, it’s not really my style.”

“Right. No, that’s cool. I just...” I cough into my hand, feeling like I lost the connection with a woman I so admire.

“Just what?” she asks.

“I just had a really good time, Noelle.”

She smiles, walking toward her front door. “I did too, Brooks.”

I kiss her on the cheek as I leave, wanting more than that. But she pulled away so damn fast I didn’t even realize what hit me until I am in my truck, driving away.

Wishing like hell I wasn’t going anywhere but back into her arms.Noelle“Okay, no, I totally get it,” I say setting my phone on my bathroom counter. Sophia is on speaker phone and I’m trying to finish up my makeup. I thought we were meeting for lunch, but she’s canceled. “Your dad wants family time.”

“I’m sorry, I know you’re family too. It’s just, I haven’t seen him in months,” she says.

“You don’t need to apologize.” I dust sparkly bronzing powder over my nose. “But we do need to plan a few things for the wedding still. And the bachelorette party is tonight.”

She groans. “We really don’t need to do that.”

“What are you talking about? Kensie and Tillie are coming, and so are your bridesmaids. So, no excuses.”

“Okay, I just, blah. This whole wedding came up so fast. I feel like I’m not ready.”

I try to keep my voice as steady as my hand is while applying black eyeliner to my lid. “We’ve been planning it for months, Sophia.”

“I know. And I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for everything you’ve done. I just feel a little overwhelmed with life.”

“How is James doing with everything?”

“I don’t know. He mostly talks about the honeymoon in Fiji. I think he just wants to get to the honeymoon suite. I think he thinks we’re gonna get kinky or something once we get there.”

I smile, thinking about how kinky I got last night. I know it wasn’t ball gags or ass play — but I put on a little Santa negligeé and sat on a candy cane, and for me, that’s pretty outside the box.

“Well, it is your honeymoon,” I say. “Surprise him.”

“Says the girl who hasn’t been with a man in how many years?”

Not wanting to discuss my sex life with her right now, I blow the comment off. “Well, tell your dad hello. And call me later, so we can plan our outfits for the bachelorette party.”

“Love you, Noelle.”

“Love you more.”

I hang up and glide some red lipstick on, wanting to look festive. Walking around my apartment though, I realize it has been sorely neglected. Everywhere I look there is some wedding accessory — but nothing that will make my place cozy come Christmas morning.

I don’t even have a tree. Me. Noelle. The girl who loves Christmas doesn’t have a tree. I’ve been so focused on Sophia and James, I’ve forgotten about myself. The situation needs to be rectified. Now.

So, I set to work filling up plastic tote bins with the wedding stuff, tossing paper scraps and plastic packaging in the trash. Soon enough it doesn’t look like a wedding threw up here, and instead looks like a generic apartment of a twenty-three-year-old woman who doesn’t have any family at Christmas.

Depressing much?

I look in my storage closet and pull out my boxes of Christmas decorations. It’s a modest collection, but everything I have has meaning. Most of it was my parents’ things from before I lost them. I have lights and a tree stand, a tree skirt, and ornaments. But no tree. Making a decision to do something for myself, instead of Sophia and James, I pull on my coat and gloves.

I drive to the tree lot Noble Pines, at the bottom of a mountain slope, and park my car, ready to pick out the perfect tree. I take a deep breath, the fresh air reminding me that most things can be solved by going outside.

Last night didn’t end how I hoped. Right after the mind-blowing sex, Brooks brought me back to reality. He is a single-father, here for a week. Hooking up with me was all about sex.

And it was for me too, except I know myself. I can’t do that with him twice without getting attached.

So, I had to end it, then and there. The last thing I need this Christmas is a broken heart.