The Secret Adversary (Tommy & Tuppence 1)

“Same here,” agreed Tommy with feeling.

“I’ve thought over every imaginable way of getting it too,” continuedTuppence. “There are only three! To be left it, to marry it, or to makeit. First is ruled out. I haven’t got any rich elderly relatives. Anyrelatives I have are in homes for decayed gentlewomen! I always help oldladies over crossings, and pick up parcels for old gentlemen, in casethey should turn out to be eccentric millionaires. But not one of themhas ever asked me my name--and quite a lot never said ‘Thank you.’”

There was a pause.

“Of course,” resumed Tuppence, “marriage is my best chance. I made up mymind to marry money when I was quite young. Any thinking girl would!I’m not sentimental, you know.” She paused. “Come now, you can’t say I’msentimental,” she added sharply.

“Certainly not,” agreed Tommy hastily. “No one would ever think ofsentiment in connection with you.”

“That’s not very polite,” replied Tuppence. “But I dare say you mean itall right. Well, there it is! I’m ready and willing--but I never meetany rich men! All the boys I know are about as hard up as I am.”

“What about the general?” inquired Tommy.

“I fancy he keeps a bicycle shop in time of peace,” explained Tuppence.“No, there it is! Now _you_ could marry a rich girl.”

“I’m like you. I don’t know any.”

“That doesn’t matter. You can always get to know one. Now, if I see aman in a fur coat come out of the _Ritz_ I can’t rush up to him and say:‘Look here, you’re rich. I’d like to know you.’”

“Do you suggest that I should do that to a similarly garbed female?”

“Don’t be silly. You tread on her foot, or pick up her handkerchief, orsomething like that. If she thinks you want to know her she’s flattered,and will manage it for you somehow.”

“You overrate my manly charms,” murmured Tommy.

“On the other hand,” proceeded Tuppence, “my millionaire would probablyrun for his life! No--marriage is fraught with difficulties. Remains--to_make_ money!”

“We’ve tried that, and failed,” Tommy reminded her.

“We’ve tried all the orthodox ways, yes. But suppose we try theunorthodox. Tommy, let’s be adventurers!”

“Certainly,” replied Tommy cheerfully. “How do we begin?”

“That’s the difficulty. If we could make ourselves known, people mighthire us to commit crimes for them.”

“Delightful,” commented Tommy. “Especially coming from a clergyman’sdaughter!”

“The moral guilt,” Tuppence pointed out, “would be theirs--not mine. Youmust admit that there’s a difference between stealing a diamond necklacefor yourself and being hired to steal it.”

“There wouldn’t be the least difference if you were caught!”

“Perhaps not. But I shouldn’t be caught. I’m so clever.”

“Modesty always was your besetting sin,” remarked Tommy.

“Don’t rag. Look here, Tommy, shall we really? Shall we form a businesspartnership?”

“Form a company for the stealing of diamond necklaces?”

“That was only an illustration. Let’s have a--what do you call it inbook-keeping?”

“Don’t know. Never did any.”

“I have--but I always got mixed up, and used to put credit entries onthe debit side, and vice versa--so they fired me out. Oh, I know--ajoint venture! It struck me as such a romantic phrase to come across inthe middle of musty old figures. It’s got an Elizabethan flavour aboutit--makes one think of galleons and doubloons. A joint venture!”

“Trading under the name of the Young Adventurers, Ltd.? Is that youridea, Tuppence?”

“It’s all very well to laugh, but I feel there might be something init.”

“How do you propose to get in touch with your would-be employers?”

“Advertisement,” replied Tuppence promptly. “Have you got a bit of paperand a pencil? Men usually seem to have. Just like we have hairpins andpowder-puffs.”

Tommy handed over a rather shabby green notebook, and Tuppence beganwriting busily.

“Shall we begin: ‘Young officer, twice wounded in the war----’”

“Certainly not.”

“Oh, very well, my dear boy. But I can assure you that that sort ofthing might touch the heart of an elderly spinster, and she might adoptyou, and then there would be no need for you to be a young adventurer atall.”

“I don’t want to be adopted.”

“I forgot you had a prejudice against it. I was only ragging you!The papers are full up to the brim with that type of thing. Nowlisten--how’s this? ‘Two young adventurers for hire. Willing to doanything, go anywhere. Pay must be good.’ (We might as well makethat clear from the start.) Then we might add: ‘No reasonable offerrefused’--like flats and furniture.”

“I should think any offer we get in answer to that would be a pretty_un_reasonable one!”

“Tommy! You’re a genius! That’s ever so much more chic. ‘No unreasonableoffer refused--if pay is good.’ How’s that?”

“I shouldn’t mention pay again. It looks rather eager.”

“It couldn’t look as eager as I feel! But perhaps you are right. NowI’ll read it straight through. ‘Two young adventurers for hire. Willingto do anything, go anywhere. Pay must be good. No unreasonable offerrefused.’ How would that strike you if you read it?”

“It would strike me as either being a hoax, or else written by alunatic.”

“It’s not half so insane as a thing I read this morning beginning‘Petunia’ and signed ‘Best Boy.’” She tore out the leaf and handed itto Tommy. “There you are. _Times_, I think. Reply to Box so-and-so.I expect it will be about five shillings. Here’s half a crown for myshare.”

Tommy was holding the paper thoughtfully. His faced burned a deeper red.

“Shall we really try it?” he said at last. “Shall we, Tuppence? Just forthe fun of the thing?”

“Tommy, you’re a sport! I knew you would be! Let’s drink to success.” She poured some cold dregs of tea into the two cups.

“Here’s to our joint venture, and may it prosper!”

“The Young Adventurers, Ltd.!” responded Tommy.

They put down the cups and laughed rather uncertainly. Tuppence rose.

“I must return to my palatial suite at the hostel.”

“Perhaps it is time I strolled round to the _Ritz_,” agreed Tommy with agrin. “Where shall we meet? And when?”

“Twelve o’clock to-morrow. Piccadilly Tube station. Will that suit you?”

“My time is my own,” replied Mr. Beresford magnificently.

“So long, then.”

“Good-bye, old thing.”

The two young people went off in opposite directions. Tuppence’s hostelwas situated in what was charitably called Southern Belgravia. Forreasons of economy she did not take a bus.

She was half-way across St. James’s Park, when a man’s voice behind hermade her start.

“Excuse me,” it said. “But may I speak to you for a moment?”