Willing Captive

What I don’t add is, ‘and I’m in love with you.’

Nox doesn’t coo. He doesn’t tell me everything will be alright. He doesn’t pretend I’m not a mess. But he does let me cry it out. And once I’m done covering his neck in tears and snot, he lifts my sorrow-weakened body.

Yes. Sorrow.

Sorrow is what you feel when you mourn. And I’m mourning my life.

My wasted life.

“God, I’m a blubbering mess,” I mutter as he places a strong arm around my waist, supporting me as he walks me into the bathroom.

Nox turns on the shower, then moves to stand in front of me. My blurry eyes search his face, those icy-blue eyes warmer than I’ve ever seen. Without a word, his fingers grip the bottom of my tank and he lifts it over my head, throwing it to the side. He doesn’t remove his boxers. Taking my hand, he links our fingers and leads me to the shower.

Making sure he hits the water first, he pulls me under the warm spray, careful not to wet my hair, and we stand there for a long while.

Emotionally exhausted, I don’t utter a word of complaint as he begins to wash me. Running his soapy hands all over. His palms slide down my neck as he carefully washes my breasts, lightly running his thumbs over my nipples. My eyes flutter as they tighten, craving more of his attention. We never take our eyes off each other’s.

This is not a sexy moment.

It’s a beautiful moment.

All cried out, I lose myself in the feel of his hands as one slips between my legs to cleanse the sensitive flesh there. Slowly but carefully, he works his hands, expertly caressing the globes of my ass and back up to the small mounds that are my breasts.

We rinse, step out and I stand on the mat as Nox dries me off.

Wearing only a towel, he wraps an arm around my shoulder leading me back to bed. I lie by my lonesome, but watch as he turns his back to me and removes his wet boxers. He towels himself off before stepping into a dry pair of shorts.

Walking with a purpose, he climbs into bed, laying his head down on the feather pillow. I try to turn, as per our usual spooning routine, but he stops me with a strong hand on my towel covered hip. His firm hand softens, he gently opens the towel revealing my nakedness but I don’t flush.

It’s too late for flushing. My body knows those hands. They’re imprinted all over me. Gripping my hips, he pulls me forward until my nipples brush his firm chest.

Lifting my face, I whisper, “Say something. You’re freakin’ me out.”

His lips twitch and his eyes crinkle at the corners. Lowering his face to mine, he kisses me softly and I sigh, kissing him back just as softly. Against my lips, he mutters, “Goodnight, Lily.”

Then he lifts his chin, tucks my head under, and sighs that special sigh.

Feeling around, I find his hand, link our fingers and follow him into a restful sleep. I silently pray that tonight is not a dream.

Because if it is, I don’t want to wake up.

***

Warmth on my neck wakes me. Insistent lips kiss me wetly from under my ear to the base of my throat. A mewing sound escapes me as I stretch my arms over my head, trying to break my sleep.

A growling response comes from Nox, and subconsciously I wrap my arms around his head, his lips at my throat. Not having opened my eyes yet, I lift my neck providing him better access. His mouth travels down my chest and into the valley between my breasts. Wet warmth covers my nipple and rips a gasp from me. My core contracts as he suckles me.

Holy shit!

Unable to stop myself, I reach down, scraping my fingernails on his stomach, down lower until I come into contact with something incredibly hard, long, and warm. He growls into my breast, never removing his mouth. Open palmed, I rub him over his boxers.

But it’s just not enough. I need to feel him.

Placing my palm on his abs, I trail down his stomach and into his boxers. As soon as my fingers brush the head of his hard length, he releases my nipple with a pop. Squeezing his eyes shut, he mutters, “Fuck me. Fuck me. Goddamn.”

Wrapping my hand firmly around it, I’m shocked at the feel of him. I didn’t expect him to be so big or warm, or hard, yet smooth at the same time.

It feels good.

Not quite sure what to do, I beg quietly, “Please. Show me how to do this.”

Clearly not needing me to ask again, he reaches down, wraps his hand tighter around mine on his erection, and shows me how he likes to be stroked. Up and down, nice and slow.

I watch his face. Looking almost pained, he makes a choked sound. I stroke him harder and faster. Breathing heavily, he murmurs, “Fuck. Jesus. Lily. Baby.”

“Kiss me.”

His hand shoots out, fingers tangling in my hair as he plants brutal, deep, bruising kisses onto my mouth. Kissing him back, I whimper when he catches my bottom lip between his teeth. Both my hands on him, I continue to stroke him and I feel his length harden even more. His stomach clenches. He groans, biting down on my bottom lip harder. I mew and his groan turns into a growl.

Growling, he releases my bottom lip but holds me by the back of the head tightly, as if I would escape him.

Yeah. ‘Cause that’ll happen.

Not!

Our mouths open, we breathe into each other, making desperate pleas through growls and moans. Nox reaches down quickly, holding my hand still under his. His blue eyes widen; he stops breathing a moment before his hips jerk uncontrollably. He thrusts fitfully into my tight grip and he groans through his release. My hands suddenly coated in something wet, sticky, and warm. I can’t take my eyes off him.

Oh wow.

Oh wow.

That was…wow.

“Whoa,” I whisper.

He closes his eyes and I feel him deflate in my hands. It’s a weird feeling! Still breathing heavily, he opens his eyes and looks at me. A small smile tugs at my lips and I’m suddenly giddy.

Bunching my nose, I squish my face and say through a stupid smile, “Good morning.”

He blinks, still looking either half asleep or exhausted from his release, peeking through one eye. He catches my smile and chuckles, “Fucking great morning, princess.”

Oh, I like that.

“So you’re talking to me again?”

Brows furrowing, he says, “Come again?”

Unsure of myself, I say quietly, “It’s just that last night you didn’t say a word to me. But I know I was in a scary bad mood, so I just thought I’d tell you that it won’t happen again, and I’m sorry for ruining a really great night.”

The air is sucked out of the room. Nox’s body goes rigid against mine. Looking up into his face, my eyes widen.

Shit.

He’s pissed. Jaw tight, the vein in his temple throbs as he glares at me through narrowed and icy-cold eyes.

He’s not pissed. He’s livid.

Why do I have to open my big mouth? It was such a good morning!

Gah!

I open my mouth to correct whatever it is I said, but he puts up a hand as warning.

My mouth snaps shut and he starts, “First things first, my silence last night had nothing to do with you, but also had everything to do with you. You were not good last night, Lily, and I’m not the kind of guy that’s filled with sweet words.” Shaking his head, he adds, “That’s not me.”

I’m trying to understand where this is going so I simply nod.

He nods, too. “But I get you. And I know that nothing I said last night would’ve helped. So I shut my trap, knowing that whatever I could’ve said would’ve only made things worse. That wasn’t something we needed. So, rather than using words, I showed you how I could take care of you. So now you know. We can go from there.” His face softens as he says, “You didn’t ruin anything, baby. Got to taste you in every way, take care of you, and hold you all night. That’s not bad.”

Shaking his head slowly, he utters, “That’s fucking phenomenal.”

My head dips to hide my smile, but he catches my chin between his finge

rs, pulling my face back up to his.

The smile he wears isn’t one I’ve seen before. It’s soft and sweet. And it’s aimed at me.

I love that.

Face turning serious, he says, “You get me?”

Yeah. I totally do.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nod and mouth, “Yeah.”

His eyes crinkle. “Then kiss me, baby.”

He doesn’t need to ask again.

Lifting my face, I press my lips to his and kiss him sweetly. I feel him smile against my lips and it’s so beautiful that my stomach dips.

Finally pulling back, Nox inhales slowly, he utters on an exhale, “Don’t really wanna get out of bed but we need to eat.” A cruel smile appears on his face. “You know what today is, princess?”

Shit. Shit. Dammit. Shit.

I do know.

Cringing, I whine and he chuckles. We both speak at the same time.

“Leg day.”

***

Showering quick as I can, I slip into the kitchen while Nox is showering and eat some plain oatmeal (blech!) and drink half a glass of orange juice. When he finally comes down dressed in his work-out pants sans tank or tee, I watch Nox as he eats his apple.

We stand at opposite ends of the kitchen smiling at each other like a couple of dorks.

Finishing his apple with a smile and a shake of his head, he holds the core and walks pastme to throw it in the trash. When his chest brushes my back, my nipples harden.

That’s the effect he has on me.