Willing Captive

He’s real.

And hurt.

Sitting on my crappy secondhand sofa, he reaches to the right of him for his cane and stands, smiling softly.

My stomach flips.

I missed that smile. I saw that smile in my dreams every night for six months.

I thought that smile was dead.

My body trembles. Completely overwhelmed, I cover my face with my hands, and burst into tears. Nox moves to come to me, but Rock beats him to it with, “Don’t worry, man. I got her.”

Rock wraps an arm around my waist and holds me steady while I cry. Wiping at my tears with shaking hands, I look over at Nox. My breath hitches. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

Gripping his cane so tightly his knuckles turn white, his face pained, he shifts from foot-to-foot. And just like he used to, he says something so perfect that I shiver. “I promised I’d come for you.” Still standing, he asks quietly, “I’m sorry, babe. Do you mind if I sit?”

My head clears, and I notice his hand on his cane is shaking as if he can’t hold himself up any longer. I nod and he sits back, breathing heavily.

All that from standing a few minutes?

Placing my hand on Rock’s at my waist, I squeeze and he releases me. Suddenly stronger than I’ve been in an age, I walk over to sofa and stand in front of Nox. He whispers, “Hey, Maude.”

Biting my lip to hold back my smile, I whisper back, “Hi, Hank.”

It’s slightly awkward. It feels like I’m stuck in a dream. But my heart kick-starts after six months of hibernation.

He doesn’t move to touch me and I’m grateful. Too much is happening right now.

I take a moment to search him.

This Nox is not the same Nox I grew to love. There’s something missing from this Nox. I can’t tell what yet, but it almost looks as if he’s lost a part of himself. A part of his soul.

There is scarring all over his hands and some on his face and neck.

He looks tired. And defeated.

His hair is long now. So long, that he runs his hand through it to keep it out of his eyes.

Those eyes.

I remember those eyes.

As if he hears my mental thoughts, he looks up. His icy-blue eyes meet mine and I inhale quickly.

Stepping a little closer, I move between his legs, holding his gaze all the while. His eyes flash before they turn soft. Reaching up, he takes hold of my hand and mutters, “Hey baby.”

My heart beats faster. Warmth encases my entire body. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. It feels strange and unfamiliar.

Letting go of his hand, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, and really search.

My hands cup his cheeks and he swallows hard, shutting his eyes tightly. He breathes deeply before exhaling softly. When he opens his eyes again, I see only one thing there.

Love.

The smile that forms on my face is huge. I utter quietly, “There you are.”

His eyes crinkle, and he says softly, “Baby.”

Oh my god.

It just hit me like a chair to the face.

This is real!

I’m not dreaming. I’m not crazy. Nox is here!

He came back for me. Just like he said he would.

Stepping back a moment, I look back at Rock, and say to both of them, “I’m really happy, guys. Really happy.” They both smile. I add, “But I need answers.” My breath hitches, and my eyes burn. “Because I don’t know if I can get past this.”

Rock nods in agreement while Nox runs a hand over his face. I don’t think I’m going to like what I hear.

Rock starts, “We never lied to you, Lily. We thought he was dead.”

Okay. Good. Well, not good, but at least I know they didn’t lie to me on purpose.

Nox rubs a hand at the back of his neck in restlessness. “I know you need to know, so maybe you can sit down for this. It’s kinda long.”

Moving to sit at the opposite end of the sofa, Nox looks hurt that I want to be so far away from him. It’s still so unreal. I’m nervous and scared. All I really want to do is jump onto his lap and kiss him until I can’t remember the last six months.

He starts, “Okay. When the first explosion went off, and the windows were blown out, I saw something in the backyard. That’s why I told you to go with Boo. And when you finally did, I made my way out there, and realized it was Jett Harrison.”

Nodding, I tell him, “Terah told me he had shrapnel all over his body.”

Nox agrees, “Yeah. He was cut up pretty bad.”

“She said he died from it.”

Both Rock and Nox shake their heads.

I’m confused. Terah wouldn’t lie to me.

I’m about to ask the question when Nox says clinically, “I killed him.”

My body breaks out in goosebumps, and I suck in a quick breath. I exhale, “Oh.”

Looking down at his hands, he plays with a finger nervously. “He was there. In the back, all cut up. Gun in hand, ready to shoot. In pain, as he was, he didn’t see me coming. I picked up a shard of glass, and ran it through him.” He lifts his head. “Not sorry I did it.”

Neither am I.

Rock adds, “That’s when the rest of the explosions went off. The house started collapsing, and…” He trails off and looks at Nox.

Nox continues, “And it got me. Rafters collapsed on me. I don’t really remember much after that.”

No. That’s not good enough.

My face must convey this, because Nox explains, “The only person who knew I was alive was Mitch. And he didn’t tell anyone. Not a soul, babe.”

“Why?” I’m starting to dislike this Mitch.

Nox looks me in the eye. “Because it was bad.” My eyes turn sad. “He didn’t know if I’d make it. I spent almost three months in an induced coma due to my brain swelling. My injuries were extensive. I have minor brain damage. I don’t remember or react to things like I used to. I’m still doing daily physical therapy.”

He blinks a moment, as if he forgot what he was saying.

And it breaks my heart.

Scooching closer to him, our knees touch, and I slide my hand into his. I prompt, “You’re still doing physical therapy?”

Looking embarrassed, he shakes his head. “Yeah. I’ve wanted to see you from the second I woke up. But I couldn’t, babe. If I could’ve, I would’ve.” He grins, “Learning to walk again is hard.”

Oh shit.

I whisper, “I’m sorry, honey.”

He smiles a megawatt smile, and suddenly I’m pissed. Gripping his hand tighter, I move even closer to him and turn to Rock. “So Mitch just decided to plant his DNA and fake his death?”

The air in the room changes. I don’t know what I just said, but it’s obviously a touc

hy subject.

Nox clears his throat. “No, princess. He didn’t plant my DNA. It was there, in the house.”

My brows furrow in confusion.

Nox lifts the right side of his pants leg.

Looking down, I cover my mouth with my hands and gasp.

My heart races.

Closing my eyes, I bury my face in my hands and sob. I stutter through tears, “I- I- I’m sorry, honey. So sorry.”

His arms come around me, and pull me to him. I wrap my arms around him, and bury my face in his neck. “So sorry, babe.”

He rubs my back and explains gently, “It’s not that bad. It could’ve been worse. Prosthetics are actually pretty advanced these days. It took a little while to get used to, but I’ve got the hang of it. My body’s just weak from being in a coma, and I need to build up my strength again. The brain damage…that’s something they don’t know about. It varies with every case. I’m really just a little forgetful.”

Without thinking, I pull back and blurt out, “We need to move. This place isn’t big enough for both of us, and you’ll need room to do PT. I’ll see if we can find a house to rent or something. Okay?”

His brows rise in shock. Then his face softens. Placing his forehead on mine, he asks, “You wanna live with me?”

It takes everything I have not to karate chop him for asking such a dumb question. I probe, “Do you love me?”

Without hesitation, he answers, “More than anything in my life.” He confides, “It was so hard in recovery. So many times I wanted to give up. Give in. Every time I told myself I couldn’t do it anymore, I thought about you. And how proud you’d be of me for doing it, even though it was so fucking hard.”

My eyes close, and I breathe deeply, trying desperately to control my emotions. I say softly, “I am. I’m so proud of you.”

Then my body reacts on its own accord. Leaning forward, I very softly press my lips to his. His hands slide up my neck and into my hair, tangling his fingers through it, deepening our kiss.

Elation. Pure joy.

Someone coughs.

Shit. I forgot Rock was here.

Standing, he smiles, “If you guys are good, I have to get back.”