Dani finished combing her hair and leant closer to the mirror to carefully slide in the hairclip and then do her lippy.
‘Dani.’
She looked up to see his reflection, struck by the new note in his voice. The tux was gorgeous. But his face was ashen.
‘Alex?’ She spun to face him.
‘I have to tell you something.’
Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be good. He looked worse than when he’d told her about Patrick. Only this wasn’t about him, this was about her. She knew because of the way he was looking at her—as if he didn’t want to.
‘You’ve found him.’
‘Yes.’
She almost couldn’t bear to ask. He was looking so solemn. Why? What was wrong? What had happened? ‘Why are you looking so serious?’ She couldn’t do anything more than whisper.
‘Because it’s not what you wanted, Dani.’
She couldn’t breathe. ‘He doesn’t want to meet me?’
‘No.’ Alex pushed out a long breath. ‘He’s dead, Dani.’
‘What?’ She couldn’t move. ‘He’s what?’
‘His name was Jack Parker. He got adopted into a really nice family. Did fine at school. He was going into the family business—working with his father.’
‘What happened?’ She needed to know: how, when—dead? Had he really said dead?
‘A car accident. It wasn’t his fault—he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.’
‘He was killed.’ She was staring, unblinking, but didn’t know what she was seeing.
‘He was in a coma for a couple of days and then he died. It was five years ago.’
Dani’s heart just stopped. All of her stopped. Five years ago? He’d died before their mother. He’d died before Dani had even known about him.
‘Dani?’
She forced herself to swallow. It seemed like a huge action, her whole body involved in the effort. She blinked. Alex was right in front of her, his hand outstretched as if he was about to take her arm. She turned away and forced in a long, controlled breath. ‘That’s great he found a family.’
‘Yeah, they seem really nice,’ Alex said quietly. ‘They offered to meet with you, if you’d like. They have photos they’d share, would talk to you about him.’
Dani bent her head. ‘I don’t think that would be a good idea.’
‘Dani—’
‘I know now. That’s all that matters. It’s finished.’
‘No, it isn’t. It’s only just started.’
Dani closed her eyes. No. She didn’t want to think on this anymore. Not right now. She didn’t want to take it in.
Jack Parker.
She pushed the name away—didn’t want him to become real; it would only heighten the loss. What she needed now was oblivion. And she’d make the most of the opiate she had right here. She turned back to Alex, didn’t look into his eyes, just looked at his broad chest. In her mind’s eye she could see the muscles beneath the suit—he was the perfect instrument of pleasure. Even now she could see his whole body tense.
‘Dani, you need—’
‘Action.’ She walked towards him.
‘No, you need to talk. To me.’
‘No.’ She shook her head, and pressed against him. ‘I need action. That’s all.’
He caught her hands before she could even try to tease him into play. Damn. She could be mindless in less than a minute if only he’d touch her.
‘This is too important. Dani. No.’ His grip on her wrists eased, his thumbs stroking. ‘It’s OK to grieve, Dani.’
No, it wasn’t. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to feel anything—she just wanted to forget.
Because if she didn’t forget it—and soon—she’d want to lean on Alex and cry. Dani never cried, certainly not in front of anyone. She drew on the iron will she’d built up inside her over the last year. She was not going to be weak—she was not going to let it out. She didn’t want to be that vulnerable. Her heart hurt too much already. And if she acknowledged it, it would hurt more—she couldn’t bear to be hurt more.
‘There’s nothing to grieve. I never even met him.’ She denied it all. ‘I wanted to know. Now I do.’
‘No, you wanted family. You wanted someone.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t need anyone.’
‘Dani,’ he admonished gently.
She stood still, fighting the gaping wound inside, determined to stop the hurt gushing out of her. She couldn’t cope if it did. She couldn’t let this become real. But she coul
dn’t stop that last little thread of hope uncurling. ‘You’re sure. I mean, there’s no doubt, is there? It’s definitely him?’
‘The DNA test proved it.’
‘The DNA test?’ Stunned, she pulled her wrists free and stared at him. ‘What DNA test?’
There was no hiding the guilt in his face now.
‘You did a DNA test without my knowing?’ Her voice rose up into screech territory. ‘How the hell did you do that—take a pubic hair or something?’ She felt that violated.
‘Dani.’ He took her shoulders firmly.
‘Did you dig up his grave?’ Raw feeling surged through her veins—the kind of feeling that gave her the strength she needed right now—anger. ‘How long have you known?’ He had to have known something to get the tests done. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you thought you’d found him sooner?’Yes, it was easy to be angry. So easy to be furiously angry with Alex.
‘I didn’t want to get your hopes up until it was certain. I didn’t want to hurt you.’
Well, right now she wanted to hurt him. ‘So last night you knew.’
‘I found out late last night. But I only got the lab confirmation in that call just now.’
She hardly heard him. So it had been pity that had driven his tenderness this morning. ‘You’re a bastard, Alex. You’re such a bastard.’
‘I know.’
‘Oh, please.’ She turned on him, striking out in her agony. ‘You’re still upset about your parentage? Come on, Alex, get over it.’ She hurt so much and she wanted to hurt him more.
‘Dani—’ His fingers were painfully tight on her shoulders now and she was sure he was about to bodily chuck her out. And she’d be glad. She wanted everything to end.
But all he did was say softly, ‘You’re not taking it out on me.’
Alex badly wanted to take her in his arms, wanted to kiss her to stop the hurtful words. Like a trapped, wounded animal, she thought the only way to escape was to attack.