“Oh, I’m better than a friend, my dear,” Her Highness said. “I’m a saleswoman. ” Her diamonds sparkled, and her eyes glittered like a snake’s—cold and dark. “Don’t worry. We’ll work our way down to the first floor, eh?”
Leo nodded eagerly. “Sure, yeah! That sounds okay. Right, Piper?”
Piper did her best to stare daggers at him: No, it is not okay!
“Of course it’s okay. ” Her Highness put her hands on Leo’s and Jason’s shoulders and steered them toward the cosmetics. “Come along, boys. ”
Piper didn’t have much choice except to follow.
She hated department stores—mostly because she’d gotten caught stealing from several of them. Well, not exactly caught, and not exactly stealing. She’d talked salesmen into giving her computers, new boots, a gold ring, once even a lawn mower, though she had no idea why she wanted one. She never kept the stuff. She just did it to get her dad’s attention. Usually she talked her neighborhood UPS guy into taking the stuff back. But of course the salesmen she duped always came to their senses and called the police, who eventually tracked her down.
Anyway, she wasn’t thrilled to be back in a department store—especially one run by a crazy princess who glowed in the dark.
“And here,” the princess said, “is the finest assortment of magical mixtures anywhere. ”
The counter was crammed with bubbling beakers and smoking vials on tripods. Lining the display shelves were crystal flasks—some shaped like swans or honey bear dispensers. The liquids inside were every color, from glowing white to polka-dotted. And the smells—ugh! Some were pleasant, like fresh-baked cookies or roses, but they were mixed with the scents of burning tires, skunk spray, and gym lockers.
The princess pointed to a bloodred vial—a simple test tube with a cork stopper. “This one will heal any disease. ”
“Even cancer?” Leo asked. “Leprosy? Hangnails?”
“Any disease, sweet boy. And this vial”—she pointed to a swan-shaped container with blue liquid inside—“will kill you very painfully. ”
“Awesome,” Jason said. His voice sounded dazed and sleepy.
“Jason,” Piper said. “We’ve got a job to do. Remember?” She tried to put power into her words, to snap him out of his trance with charmspeak, but her voice sounded shaky even to her. This princess woman scared her too much, made her confidence crumble, just the way she’d felt back in the Aphrodite cabin with Drew.
“Job to do,” Jason muttered. “Sure. But shopping first, okay?”
The princess beamed at him. “Then we have potions for resisting fire—”
“Got that covered,” Leo said.
“Indeed?” The princess studied Leo’s face more closely. “You don’t appear to be wearing my trademark sunscreen …but no matter. We also have potions that cause blindness, insanity, sleep, or—”
“Wait. ” Piper was still staring at the red vial. “Could that potion cure lost memory?”
The princess narrowed her eyes. “Possibly. Yes. Quite possibly. Why, my dear? Have you forgotten something important?”
Piper tried to keep her expression neutral, but if that vial could cure Jason’s memory …
Do I really want that? she wondered.
If Jason found out who he was, he might not even be her friend. Hera had taken away his memories for a reason. She’d told him it was the only way he’d survive at Camp Half-Blood. What if Jason found out that he was their enemy, or something? He might come out of his amnesia and decide he hated Piper. He might have a girlfriend wherever he came from.
It doesn’t matter, she decided, which kind of surprised her.
Jason always looked so anguished when he tried to remember things. Piper hated seeing him that way. She wanted to help him because she cared about him, even if that meant losing him. And maybe it would make this trip through Her Craziness’s department store worthwhile.
“How much?” Piper asked.
The princess got a faraway look in her eyes. “Well, now … The price is always tricky. I love helping people. Honestly, I do. And I always keep my bargains, but sometimes people try to cheat me. ” Her gaze drifted to Jason. “Once, for instance, I met a handsome young man who wanted a treasure from my father’s kingdom. We made a bargain, and I promised to help him steal it. ”
“From your own dad?” Jason still looked half in a trance, but the idea seemed to bother him.
“Oh, don’t worry,” the princess said. “I demanded a high price. The young man had to take me away with him. He was quite good-looking, dashing, strong …” She looked at Piper. “I’m sure, my dear, you understand how one might be attracted to such a hero, and want to help him. ”
Piper tried to control her emotions, but she probably blushed. She got the creepiest feeling the princess could read her thoughts.
She also found the princess’s story disturbingly familiar. Pieces of old myths she’d read with her dad started coming together, but this woman couldn’t be the one she was thinking of.
“At any rate,” Her Highness continued, “my hero had to do many impossible tasks, and I’m not bragging when I say he couldn’t have done them without me. I betrayed my own family to win the hero his prize. And still he cheated me of my payment. ”
“Cheated?” Jason frowned, as if trying to remember something important.
“That’s messed up,” Leo said.
Her Highness patted his cheek affectionately. “I’m sure you don’t need to worry, Leo. You seem honest. You would always pay a fair price, wouldn’t you?”
Leo nodded. “What were we buying again? I’ll take two. ”
Piper broke in: “So, the vial, Your Highness—how much?”
The princess assessed Piper’s clothes, her face, her posture, as if putting a price tag on one slightly used demigod.