That’s indication enough that Tacker fully intends to have me stay over in the future. I’m down with that, which makes me extend a like offer. “And you can stay at the ranch when convenient, too.”
“Definitely,” he murmurs, giving me a squeeze.
We lay in silence a bit more, and I start to feel a little drowsy. Maybe sleeping like this is doable.
“Do you mind if I talk to you about MJ?” Tacker says into the silence surrounding us.
It jolts me, and my head bounces off his chest so I can look at him. It’s the last thing in the world I expected him to say, but I guess counselor-mode never truly leaves me. I’m not put out in the slightest.
“Of course not,” I assure him, shifting again so I can give him my full attention. “What’s up?”
“I’m feeling guilty,” he says, and that’s not surprising. Being intimate with another woman is bound to cause that.
“Am I the first since…?” My words trail off, but he gets me.
“Yes. And I hate that I’m feeling guilty because what we just did… it was beyond amazing. I don’t want you to think my feelings of guilt trivializes what we just shared.”
“I don’t,” I say, giving a tiny pat of my hand to his chest. “And I sense there’s more.”
I can always tell when someone’s holding back on me just a bit, and while Tacker has been fully transparent with me since we had his breakthrough of sorts that day he sobbed across Starlight’s back, I know he’s not giving it all to me.
Sighing, Tacker admits, “When you and I were in the bedroom, and things were getting hot… leading up to us fucking… well, part of me hoped it would be mediocre. Because I know mediocre with you would still be fantastic. But I thought to myself, if sex with you was just average, then I would be able to hold a little something of MJ that would still be the most perfect.”
“And,” I press, not because my ego is needing the answer. I know he needs to confront this head-on if he’s going to move forward with a healthy, new relationship.
“I hate I’m comparing the two of you. Fucking hate it, but… what we just did was about as far from mediocre as you can get, and…”
He falters again. Can’t seem to bring himself to say it.
So I step in and give him a hand. “And you think you’re letting MJ down because of how great it was and how much you enjoyed it?”
He nods. “Stupid.”
“Natural,” I correct him. “Spouses and intimate partners have to work through loyalty issues. You’re normal, Tacker. And I’m okay if building something with me causes you to feel guilty about leaving MJ’s memories behind. But you don’t have to do that. You can keep those memories fresh and alive. You can appreciate those things that are still perfect about her, even if it’s things that showcase me as less than stellar.”
“You’re above stellar in every way,” Tacker assures me.
“I most certainly am not. And if we hang in there, you’ll get my bad side eventually.”
“I can handle it,” he says, then gives me an exaggerated smirk. “You can make it up to me in orgasms.”
“I can, can I?” I drawl, giving him a playful push. “I feel like I need to make a few up to you right now. I’ve had far more than you this evening.”
Tacker removes his arms from around me to tuck his hands behind his head. He grins, eyes flashing devilishly. “I’m not averse to you starting on that now.”
Tilting my head, I press a kiss to his chest and slide my hand in between us, searching for his cock. It’s soft and sated in my hand, but it responds almost immediately when I start to stroke.
Tacker’s eyes flutter closed, and a serene smile plays at his lips. I gently move myself down his body, careful not to do anything that would tip us out of the recliner, and finally put my mouth on him.
“Nora,” he murmurs.
I have to admit… I love the sound my name makes on his lips.CHAPTER 26TackerIt’s been a long week, and I’m more than a little excited to see Nora.
On Monday, we had a home game and I was beyond stoked Nora wanted to come. It’s a lot on her to make that forty-five-minute drive to the arena, but it means something to know she’s in the stands watching me. I think it means something to her that I want her there, too.
After the game, we didn’t go out with the team.
Rather, we went to my apartment since I was leaving the next morning for a four-day road trip. Again, another concession Nora is making to spend time with me, as she has an early workday on Tuesday like I do.