Dirty (RAW Family 2)

Still with my back to him, I reach over across my chest to place a hand gently on the scar at my left shoulder. “The time I didn’t say I love you fast enough.”

I turn again, and with my face lowered, I touch the scar at my ribs. “The time Dino found a text message on my phone from my brother, Miguel.” I blink down at the ground. “It was a photo of my husband at a bar, laughing in the company of another woman.”

My left thigh. “The time Luc made a joke about Dino and I laughed.”

Between my breast and underarm. “The time Dino forgot my birthday, and I didn’t remind him.”

Near my bellybutton. “The time I went to the mall and didn’t tell anyone.”

My hip. “The time I burned dinner.”

Not knowing how to be graceful about it, I simply touch the space between my thighs, gently cupping my most intimate place. “The time I stupidly asked Dino for a divorce.” He wouldn’t know it from my position, but this scar is relatively bigger than the others.

A sudden feeling of self-consciousness washes over me. I lift my shaking hands to cover my small breasts. I stand there a while before I find the words I am looking for.

“These are the scars he left me. And though these hurt, the most painful ones are those you can’t see.” I force open my eyes and meet his. “My husband convinced himself that he loved me. I was forced to love him back. I’m not sorry he’s dead.” My body shaking with pent up rage, I rasp, “I hated him.”

I am so miserable that I can barely get out the words. “My marriage consisted of three emotions. Happiness, anger, and sadness. Happiness when we first married, anger when I realized Dino wasn’t the prince I thought he was, and sadness when I finally understood that nobody was coming to save me.” I pause a short while, before adding coolly, “So I planned to save myself.”

As I stare into those blue eyes, I’m slightly shocked to find them devoid of pity.

Feeling empowered, I stand tall. Julius slides out of bed, naked as the day he was born, and walks over to me, his long, thick cock swinging. I hold his eyes. He gets closer and closer until we’re almost toe to toe. My heart beats faster and faster, and the mixture of feelings flowing inside me becomes too much. So much so it’s frightening.

Taking a shuddering breath, I close my eyes, feeling the heat of his bare body so close to mine.

He leans down and his chest brushes mine, causing a delicious friction on the way down. I swallow hard as my core pulses. When he straightens and my face gravitates upward, my lips silently seek his. I lean closer, and at the very moment I move to stand on my tiptoes, something cool covers me.

My eyes flutter open to find Julius standing a foot away from me, Ling’s robe draped over my shoulders.

The heat of the sudden flush takes me by surprise.

Oh, God. I showed him my spoiled body then tried to kiss him. Of course he doesn’t want me. I’m damaged goods.

Dino made sure no one would want me ever again.

Disgrace turns my body cold.

Reaching behind me, I find the doorknob and turn it. As I attempt to slip out of the bedroom on shaking legs, Julius slips an arm around my back then bends, placing the other around the backs of my knees, lifting me as if I weigh nothing at all. The rush of panic that follows leaves me no choice but to wrap my arms around his neck as he walks me back to the bed.

Without asking permission, he tugs the open robe off with a single pull, leaving me only in the black lace panties—thank you, Ling—and gently places me in the center of the bed.

I panic some more, and I do this in earsplitting silence.

But this is Julius, and I should know better by now. Unfortunately, the past has taught me to expect the unexpected.

The mattress dips when he slides in next to me, reaching over to pull the covers over the both of us. He lays his head on the pillow we share, our faces close, almost nose to nose, and his hand comes to rest gently on my hip, kneading the space there with his long fingers.

“Kill him myself,” he mutters into the partial darkness. “Wish I could go back to that day.”

His words bring a harsh reaction. My stomach tightens, and my flesh breaks out in goose bumps.

He keeps speaking, softly, so as not to scare me. “Beat him. Torture him. Break him. Take him out. I’d do it. They’d have to use dental records to identify him. I wouldn’t bat an eye at his mangled corpse.” He sighs lightly. “Destroy every piece of him, baby. I’d do it.”

Julius doesn’t say it, but in my mind, I hear him say, ‘I’d do it for you.’

His face seems nearer than before, and it takes me a moment to realize I’m the one unconsciously seeking him out, seeking out the warmth of his lips.

“Kiss me,” I beg on a whisper.

I want it more than I want my next breath.

But instead, he squeezes my hip, almost punishingly. “Bring him back just to do it all over again.”

His words are a decree, a pledge, a vow. These are the things he would do for me. These are the things he would do to keep me safe.

Oh, God.

My pussy clenches in arousal, and it shocks me.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should not be turned on by this. Violence was not my thing. Why was I turned on by this?

Wide-eyed, I blink up into his face, and the tip of my nose brushes his. “Please,” I implore, placing my hands on his taut stomach then sliding them up to his chest, over to grip his shoulders. “Kiss me.”

But as I move to place my lips on him, he moves back an inch, looking me in the eye. “This is how it is. I don’t fuck around. If I’m done with you, I’ll tell you. You’ll never not know where you stand with me, because I’ll keep you by my fucking side for always.”

That is some declaration. Perhaps it isn’t a declaration of love, but it is as close to it as I am going to get from Julius. And to me, it’s perfect in every goddamn way.

My stomach warms and my body unwinds; the happiness brought from that one direct statement is overwhelming.

“Okay,” I breathe, because I can’t seem to do much else with myself.

He looks down at my parted lips, and my insides singe at the heat in his eyes. His words are everything. “For always.”

I realize he needs something from me. And I give it to him.

I repeat quietly, but with meaning, “For always.”

His next words are less hearts-and-flowers and more fire-and-brimstone. “You fuck around on me,” he starts, reaching up to run his warm fingers down my jawline. “They won’t ever find your body, baby.”

It’s moments like this that remind me of the man Julius is. It’s not often I see the man behind the mask, but I know he’s there. I feel him lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to come out and play.

But his words don’t alarm me. They don’t scare me, because I will never fuck around on this man. There will be no other for me, only him, and I will make him happy. He will never regret his decision to keep me. I swear it. I am his. From this moment on, I belong to him.

You creepy fuck, that almost sounded like wedding vows.

Yeah, I muse in silence. I suppose they did.

Right now, here with Julius, I am reclaiming ownership of my body. And I am doing that by giving myself to him. Shuffling closer, I press my bare breasts against his chest, my nipples taut in excitement.

My voice husky with need, I plead for the last time, “You’re driving me crazy, baby. Now, please, for the love of God.” My hands slide up from his shoulders and gently cup the sides of his neck. “Kiss me.”

Ask and you shall receive.

The hand on my hip pulls me impossibly close and, without thinking, I hook my right thigh over Julius. The unconscious move has the tip of his thick, hard cock pressed up against the delicate material of my panties, the hot heat of him forcing a light moan from me.

It’s been so long since arousal shook me like this, years even. I had forgotten what an orgasm felt like, so when Juliu

s reaches around me, gripping the cheeks of my ass in his hands, squeezing and kneading, undulating against my wet panty-covered pussy with just the right amount of pressure, I don’t even feel it coming.

My heart begins to race, and I feel like I’m free-falling. My eyes snap open, wide, and spots of color dance around the room. My mouth rounds in an O as Julius rolls his hips, causing firmer friction.

It’s right there.

Right there.