The words I spoke were firm and unyielding. “Take care of her, Julius.”
“Leave it with me. Don’t stress,” he uttered self-assuredly, then quietly seethed, “The bitch is as good as gone.”
He spoke so confidently, so surely, before he hung up.
So why didn’t I feel any better?
It was later that night when I heard the commotion.
I jumped awake with a start and ran breathless down the hall to find Molly holding A.J. back, away from the window.
The open window.
As A.J. fought Molly’s hold, he held his arms out and sleepily cried, “Daddy, come back!”
It was then I looked down at Molly’s hand, the hand that held the gun, and I shuddered, rushing over to the window. Panting in fear, I peered outside but saw nothing.
There was no sign of anybody. And I was suddenly glad I’d asked Molly to sleep in the room adjacent my son’s.
Molly and I exchanged a panicked look.
“Daddy!” A.J. shouted, louder this time, and the anxious need in his voice was enough to coat my arms in goose bumps.
But no one was there.
***
Twitch
It was late, and I shouldn’t have been where I was, but after the fight with my sister, I needed to see my boy.
The thought of being kept away from him was enough to make me lose my fucking mind, and I didn’t care what Manda thought. That wasn’t happening.
If I were honest with myself, maybe I was out here proving a point.
To who?
Fuck knows. Myself more than anyone, I guess.
Pulling my hood up over my head, I stepped outside into the dark of night, shoved my hands in my pockets, and made the short walk down to the house. I put my hands to the windowpane and pushed slowly, listening to the light rattle as it lifted. Without a sound, I climbed inside, and the moment I saw his small, sleeping form, the bands tightening around my chest eased.
My feet carried me silently over to my son and I knelt by his bed, watching him in the moonlight, gently stroking his hair. He blinked sleepily and I smiled, whispering, “Hey, bud.”
“Daddy.” He yawned, then muttered, “I missed you.”
He was my heart. “I missed you too. I couldn’t wait to see you, so I thought I’d visit.”
That was when A.J.’s eyes shot open. “Daddy, did you know you have a sister?”
I shushed him, looking towards the door. “Quiet, A.J.”
“And you got a dad too. I’m gonna meet him one day says Aunt Manda. And I have to call him Nonno Tony, but...”
My heart started to beat faster. “A.J., bud, I need you to be quiet.”
“...I don’t know what that means. And she gave me a watch. Not like yours, it’s different, Daddy.” He pulled open his underwear drawer and pulled it out, grinning. “See?”
Fuck me, he was making a racket. I put a finger to his lips. “Quiet, bud, or Daddy’s gonna have to go.”
“No.” His face fell and his lips started to quiver. “You always have to go.” He looked into my eyes, pleading, “Stay with me. Please.”
Was that a creak, or was I hearing things?
Whispering, I stood and quickly rushed out, “A.J., I need to go...”
My little man yelled out, “No, Daddy.” Then his face bunched as he cried. “You always go!”
Fuck.
My heart was racing.
“...but I love you.” With that, I jumped out the window and sprinted as fast as I could.
As I ran, I heard him. “Daddy, come back!”
Then a quietly feminine, “A.J, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
I swallowed past the thickness in my throat.
That was when I heard his desperate cry. “Daddy!” And it fucking gave me goose bumps.
No.
This was not good.
And when it all turned to shit, I had no one to blame but myself.
***
Lexi
“Doesn’t look like anyone broke in,” Happy uttered as he checked the surroundings of the house. He turned back, and asked, “You sure A.J. didn’t push the fly screen out?”
Tired and uneasy, I hugged myself. “I don’t know. He’s upset. He won’t talk to me.”
“And you said he was callin’ out for Twitch?”
I nodded wearily, but Happy said nothing.
What a night.
I hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after the incident. And who could blame me?
A.J.’s panicked cries were the stuff of nightmares.
When he twisted around to me, he shrugged, and said, “I don’t know what to tell ya, babe.”
“Is he...?” I blinked away the sudden rush of tears and tried again, my voice rougher than sandpaper. “I think he’s hallucinating, Happy.”
“No.” Happy frowned, stepping towards me and putting his hands on my upper arms. “Lexi, he’s not hallucinating.” His face softened and he sighed. “He’s just so desperate for his father that he’s trying to make his own memories of him. That’s all.”
“You weren’t there,” I whispered. “You didn’t hear him. The way he screamed.” I closed my eyes and shivered. “It was terrifying.”
When Happy continued to rub my arms sympathetically, I sigh
ed and stepped into him, pressing my forehead into his chest, seeking comfort. He held me as long as I needed because Happy was a great friend like that.
A long moment passed before I looked up at him, into his eyes, and stated, “I want bars put on his window.”
Without hesitation, he spoke. “I’ll make some calls.”
And just like that, I could breathe again.
***
Twitch
“You done fucked up,” said Happy as he walked inside the house
I didn’t say anything because the truth was I knew I had.
He stood in front of me, closing his eyes and stretching his neck from side to side. “Putting bars on his windows tomorrow.”
Motherfucker.
My gut sank.
Damn. I really messed up. And it was costing me my time with my son.
Fuck. I hated my life.
At my long sigh, Happy lifted his face to look at me. “What did you expect? You walk into her fucking house like you own the joint. It was only a matter of time before you overstepped, like you do, and got yourself into shit. You know what pisses me off though?” I stood silently, listening, and his eyes narrowed on me. “You’re not taking the blame for this, and you deserve to. Instead, you leave a fucking five-year-old to take the responsibility for your screwed up games.”
I wasn’t playing games. I just wanted to be with my son.
My jaw tightened, but I said nothing.
Happy laid into me. “You’re so fucking selfish, and as a result, your boy’s probably going to have to talk to a shrink. You know what’s gonna happen when they can’t find a cause for his hallucinations?” His stare was penetrating. “They’ll medicate because no normal boy sees his dead father walking around on the street, Twitch.”
My stomach twisted.
No one was medicating my boy. I would fucking die before that happened.
Didn’t he understand?
A.J. was my newest addiction. I needed him.
I needed my son, more than I needed anyone. He breathed life into me almost as much as his mother had, and if I couldn’t have her, I needed him.
“Got nothing to say?” Happy waited, but I didn’t speak.
What was the point?
He couldn’t understand. Couldn’t even begin to.