Rebirth (RAW Family 3)

I would kill for you.

I love you more.

Having lived many places in my lifetime, nowhere felt more like home than Antonio Falco’s arms.

How very frightening.

When he suddenly took my left hand, peering down at the ring I continued to wear, he kept his eyes on the sparkling diamond but uttered, “Always find my way back to you.”

Yes. He did.

But my heart stuttered because it sounded sad coming from a man who didn’t do sadness, and that worried me.

“We’re getting married,” I told him as my throat thickened with emotion. And I don’t know exactly where I was going with that. Maybe I just needed to throw the reminder out there.

And when he shook his head, my heart clenched, but what he said had my insides unraveling. “Don’t care what anyone says. Don’t care what the law says. If I call you my wife, then you’re my wife. But if you wanna make it official, we can do that, baby.” He kissed my knuckles. “Far as I’m concerned, you’re Mrs. Antonio Falco.”

I blinked up into those eyes that warmed in my hold. I pulled my hand free and framed his face with them. I ran my thumbs across his rough cheeks, caressing them lovingly because he was precious to me.

My voice quiet, I confessed, “I’m scared.”

He didn’t respond, simply nodded, and I knew we were on the same wavelength.

Lowering his head to the valley between my breasts, he laid on me with his arms around me as I stroked his hair, hugging him tightly, feeding him the comfort he so desperately needed.

Because Twitch’s past was catching up to us.

I just hoped we had a little more time together before we were finally caught.

We made love slowly in the afternoon, leisurely, with our lips never far from the other’s, and it was everything.

Something changed with that gentle lovemaking session, and I don’t know what precisely, but deep inside, I felt it was a good kind of change. Like the complex man beside me had opened himself to me completely. And as we lay together in the nude with my leg draped across the both of his, Twitch pulled me into his side before taking my hand and holding it to his mouth.

The sweet gesture made my heart swell, and in that moment, I felt truly treasured.

In the stillness of the space around us, I kept my eyes closed, and spoke quietly. “I want more children.”

I felt Tony’s mouth pull into a smile against my hand.

And I was sure he felt my responding smile against his chest.

As I gently placed my hand on his chest over his heart, he put his lips to my forehead, and uttered smoothly, “Whatever my baby wants.”

My chest ached as my heart went from full to bursting. “I love you.”

He pressed his face into mine, his lips softly kissing wherever they could reach, and I closed my eyes, taking in the love he gave as well as the unspoken words he said. Because Twitch let his actions speak for him.

And I liked what they were saying.

Chapter

Thirty-Three

Ling

“I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

Sick of being babysat, I stood and made to leave my bedroom. But the maddening man I called my brother rushed me, putting his hands to my shoulders and directing me back inside. “Ling Ling, you need to lay low. This is not up for discussion.” He looked down at me warmly. “Be good. Please?”

In the days after the death of Aslan Sadik, Van had some of the better-trusted Dragons scour my city apartment, cleaning every inch of it while my brothers took care of the bodies. In mere days, that apartment was back up on the market with quite a lot of interest, but I refused to sell, and without explaining myself, I wondered if Van knew why. Because if I sold, it would be gone, all of it, as would all of my best memories I had with the beautiful Turk.

It was hard being unable to mourn because I was on lockdown and my brother was trying his hardest to occupy me, but nothing could occupy a broken heart as well as sorrow could.

I moved slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed, talking low. “Why did you do it?”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Van still. He didn’t answer for a long moment, but when he did, his voice was rough. “You would have done it for me.”

Would I have?

I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Grief was doing funny things to my perception.

“Come here.” I held my hand out to him, and he came to me without hesitation, sitting by my side and allowing me to take his hand.

What I would give to feel anything other than what I was feeling then.

I would do anything, terrible, disgusting things, just to feel something other than the depression coursing through my veins.

“You told them we were in bed together,” I muttered, taking his hand and placing in onto my bare thigh, keeping my tone quiet. “How would you like the make that rumor a reality, brother?”

Van closed his eyes, gripping my flesh hard enough to bruise. “Ling. Stop.”

No.

Placing a gentle hand on his jaw, I turned him to face me, and his eyes shut so tightly I thought he might cry. “Look at me.”

But my brother shook his head firmly, and whispered, “Don’t do this.”

But I wanted to do this.

I wanted to forget myself for a while and I didn’t care how.

My heart lurched as I leant up and in, pressing my lips to his.

It felt wrong. Even more so when Van’s mouth remained slack.

“Kiss me back,” I said sadly.

But he didn’t.

My eyes stung. “Kiss me back,” I begged, and my breathing hitched as the first of my tears fell. “Please.”

Van kept his eyes closed and his lips lax. And that was the moment I truly realized how low I had sunk.

Az was right.

I wasn’t a queen. I was a fucking joke.

Clearly uncomfortable, my brother’s body stayed rigid even after I scrambled back, away from him.

My voice weak, I dipped my chin and felt ashamed for the first time in years, crying softly, “I’m sorry.” When the man beside me stood and headed for the door, I panicked. Eyes wide, I called out, “Don’t leave me.”

His, “I have to,” was said in a way that told me if he didn’t, we’d do something we’d regret.

So I watched him leave.

The thing was, I was headed in that direction anyways, and if I didn’t make a bad decision here in my bedroom, I was afraid I’d make one elsewhere.

With a stone-cold expression, I took my shopping cart towards the checkout, and when I was called on, I rolled up, unloading the items onto the conveyor.

The plump checkout chick scanned the items, placing them in bags.

After a while, she scanned the small black hoodie, holding it up and smiling. “Oh, Lord. That is adorable.” She threw me a smile before peering at the rest of my items, and saying, “Someone’s getting spoiled today. How old?”

“I don’t have him yet, but—” I removed my sunglasses and smiled coyly. “—he’s five.” I looked over at the conveyor full of boy clothing and toys. “And, yes. He will be spoiled.”

“That’s lovely that you’re adopting. It’s a wonderful thing you’re doing.” The checkout chick made a gooey face. “You’re going to be a great mother,” she said knowingly before nodding. “I can tell.”

Yes.

I would be a great mother.

A great mother indeed.

***

Lexi

The second I opened the front door, my eyes widened happily and a loud gasp left me. I shouted excitedly, jumping up and down, clapping enthusiastically before throwing myself into the small redhead’s arms.

“Manda!”