The President's Wife (Snakes Henchmen MC 0.5)
Page 28
‘I’m not a little man; I’m a big boy. I am the strongest in my class. Can’t you see my muscles?’ I lifted my arm to show them what I thought were big biceps. They laughed along with me before they took me into town and helped me find my mother. She was grateful to them, thanked them, and then took me home.
I saw Vince and Michael a lot after that day. My mother was okay with them letting me play with them. Until I got to ten and my father realized just what kind of men they were turning into. It didn’t stop me sneaking around to find them. Yeah, by then they were men, but I made them promise that as soon as I was old enough, they’d help me join their motorcycle club.
When my father forced me away from Taylor, I was angry with him. So fucking mad that I found and asked Shepard to help me get in with his club. It was time. Apollo warned me that if I joined, I could never leave. The things I would see and do would be both bad and dangerous, the information I held could be lethal in the wrong hands, and that’s why I’d need to swear an oath to protect the MC and its family. The only way I could leave would be in a pine box.
I didn’t give a shit back then, I’d lost Taylor, and I wanted to fuck shit up. Apollo gave me a shot at being a prospect, and I fucking excelled at it. However, I missed Taylor, I needed her, I knew I’d never be complete without her.
Shepard pulled me aside one day and told me to pull my head out of my ass, to go get the woman I loved. To hell with my family, I didn’t need them. He was right; I didn’t. I rode over to my parents’ place and told them I intended to ask Taylor to marry me. My father was angry, my mother cried. Fucking pair of idiots. My father told me that he’d back off about me being part of the MC if I that’s what I really wanted, but he couldn’t stand back and watch me be with Taylor, that if I chose the black girl, then I was no longer part of his family. I stood there, right in his face, and I told him that I would always choose my black girl over his racist old ass. I didn’t even look back when I walked out of that house.
I took myself to Taylor’s house and claimed my girl, and we’ve been together every day since. Taylor has always been my world, by my side through thick and thin. She gave me two sons, sons I would fucking die for in a heartbeat. Taylor is always there for everyone when they need her, but who the fuck has been here for her these past few weeks since we lost our little Destiny?
I feel like a fucking failure. I’ve kept my distance from Taylor because I felt like it was my fault she lost our little girl. Stryker was right about that. However, in doing so, I have made my beautiful girl think I blame her for what happened. Jesus Christ, I could never blame her. She's everything to me, I’d fucking die without her, and that is no lie. I hate that I’ve done this to her.
I lean my elbows on my knees; my thumbs pressed into my eye sockets as I try to stop the tears. I’m a man. I’m not supposed to cry. I’m supposed to be stronger than this! But I can’t stop the tears. I wanted that baby girl so badly. She would have been my little princess, and I would have loved her so well.
“Jack?”
My head shoots up. Taylor is sitting up in bed looking right at me, tears in her eyes. I wipe my own from my face as she reaches for me, and a heartbreaking sob forces its way out of her throat. I climb onto the bed beside her and wrap her up in my arms. “It’s okay, baby.” I kiss her head hard.
“I’m so sorry, Jack, I am so sorry!”
“Shh… You have nothing to be sorry for, Taylor, you did nothing wrong.”
“I lost our baby!” She sobs into my chest while repeating herself over and over again.
I should have been here for her. I should never have pulled away and gotten lost in my grief. My beautiful girl has been suffering, and I haven’t eased her pain.
I tip Taylor’s head up with my fingers under her chin, her beautiful brown eyes are red and puffy, and it hurts like hell seeing her like this. “It wasn’t your fault, Taylor. You can’t blame yourself, I won’t allow it.”
“It wasn’t your fault either, Jack. I know you blame yourself, as much as I blame myself. I see it in your eyes.” She touches my cheek, and I close my eyes. I don’t want her to look too closely, she reads me like a damn book. “I love you, Jack. Nothing will ever change that. Look at me, please.”
Reluctantly, I open my eyes and look at her. I can’t bear to see her cry, it fucking kills me, and a tear slips from my eye. I’m man enough to cry in front of my wife. I’ll never shed a tear in front of anyone else, but this woman is my soulmate.
“I can’t bear that you think I blame you for losing Destiny,” I admit.
Taylor pulls herself up and rests her back against the headboard. “I'm sorry, Jack.” She takes my hand and entwines our fingers. I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. Almost twenty years we’ve been together. We even count the time we were apart because our hearts were still one, and not one day in all that time have I not loved her, and I know she feels the same way. “I didn’t want to think that, but you wouldn’t talk to me, Jack. You shut me out. You promised never to shut me out.”
Fuck! I’m a cunt. I’ve hurt the woman I love without even meaning to.
“I am so sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to make you feel like this. I swear to God, I didn’t mean to. I guess I lost myself for a while there. I haven’t been here when you needed me, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
With her hand on my face, Taylor turns my head towards her and looks me right in the eye, and for the first time since this happened, I see just how much pain she’s been in, and my gut aches because of it. “Don't say that, Jack. You’re hurting just as much as I am. I wasn’t the only one who lost Destiny, you did too, and I should have noticed how much pain you were in instead of wallowing in my own. We should have talked, we shouldn't have shut each other out. I know Destiny was nothing but a little bean, but I don't want to forget her, Jack.”
“And we won’t. I'll never let that happen. Every year, we’re going to spend one day remembering our little bean. I'll never let us forget, Taylor, I promise.” Another breeze blows through the window and against our skin, and I close my eyes and breathe it in once again. “You feel that?”
“Yeah,” Taylor mumbles, and I note she had her eyes closed too.
“That’s our little girl's spirit, Taylor.” I look her in the eye. “She’s letting us know she’ll always be with us. She’ll never leave us, baby. She’ll always be in our hearts, in our son’s hearts. We’ll tell them what happened and how badly we wanted our little girl.”
“And we’ll tell them about her special day?”
I smile and brush her long hair over her shoulder, running the inside of my finger down the soft skin of her arm. “Yes, we’ll tell them about her special day because they’ll be right there with us. They’ll always remember her just as we will.” I brush away a tear from her eye. “I love you so much, Taylor. You know that, don’t you?” I couldn’t bear it if she ever thought my love for her faded even a tiny bit.
“I know you do, handsome, and I love you more and more each day. I’ll always love you, Jack Anderson.” I wrap her up in my arms and let her cry. We both cry for our little girl and what might have been.
We’ll get through this one day at a time. Together, we will. I’m going to make sure my wife knows just how vital she is to me, to our boys, to every damn person in our lives, every single day. Because without Taylor, there is no me. We are literally two halves of the same coin. Taylor and I are one, and we will always be.
Jack and Taylor Anderson can come through anything.
Together, we’re stronger.
Together, we’re powerful.
Together, forever.
Jack and Taylor, just the way it has always been.
The way it will always be.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lynette
I didn’t sleep all that well, my mind wouldn’t shut down, but I didn’t wake either. I’ve been awake half an hour watching my husband sleeping beside me. He must’ve carried me to bed last
night, but I don’t even remember falling asleep. I remember being horny and wanting my husband inside of me. Then I remember crying my heart out in his arms, then... Yeah, I wake up in bed.
It’s a brand new day, and the sun is shining high in the sky already. I lean my head on my hand and smile. I shouldn’t smile after what happened, but I’m not one to dwell, I find it doesn’t do a person any good. I have two little boys to take care of, I’m pregnant, and I have to be strong because my baby girl will be leaving me after the summer to go to college.
Willow was going to go to community college, but Shepard was right, I can’t tie my baby girl to me forever, I need to let her see the world, to live her own life. That’s why I convinced her it would be okay to go to school in California. Not that I want her so far away, but it’s her dream, and she should follow it.
Besides, it’s not like it’s forever, Willow will be home each holiday, and we’ll talk all the time on the phone. I’ll miss her when she goes, there’s no doubt about that. I know the boys will miss her, especially Max. Willow is the only person apart from me that he’ll have a conversation with. Max is a quiet boy, laid-back and reserved. He doesn’t find it easy to talk to his dad or Jett, or even VJ. I’m a little worried he’ll revert into himself without his sister.
I guess I know deep down that he’ll be okay. Max is a resilient boy, but then all kids are. Once I tell him we’re going to have a baby, that he’ll be a big brother like the others, he’ll be so excited he won’t have time to miss Willow. Or so the theory goes.