Before anyone can even open their mouths to speak, I’m growling like an animal in Ice’s direction. “It will be your last night breathin’ if you don’t get your damn hand off me.” He does, instantly.
It’s not that I want to be a cunt, but no one but Coral can touch me. Every damn person in my life knows this. I initiate touch from a person, not the other way around. None of these men except BlackJack knows what kind of childhood I had. I’ve never felt the need to tell anyone here my story. I went through hell as a kid with my old man, left me scarred outside and fuckin’ in, and being touched makes my skin crawl.
Made fucking women hard sometimes. Couldn’t bear to touch them, even kiss their damn lips. That’s why I’d tie them the fuck up, so they couldn’t touch me. Wasn’t till I met Coral that I let that fear go enough to feel her hands on me. The same as she let go of her fear of men touching her.
“Calm down, Stryker,” BlackJack tells me in a gentle warning tone. He knows what I’m like. I don’t mean to snap, but when I do, I lose all sense of the here and now, and no fucker is safe. “It was a simple mistake, son.”
I close my eyes and try calming my breathing. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. It’s not really anything to do with Ice touching me and more to do with the crap I hide inside from the woman I'm about to make my wife.
God, I’m hiding so much from her. She told me everything about her past, everything that ever hurt her, she trusted me, but I haven’t done the same, I’ve kept my pain to myself. I can keep everything from everyone else in my life, but I can’t keep this from her any longer.
I need to get out of here. I need to see Coral and tell her everything. I can’t marry her until I get this out of me.
How am I supposed to start a life with her when I’m keeping such things from her?
We’re supposed to be getting married tomorrow, moving into our own house as soon as we get back from our week in California – her choice for a honeymoon, not mine – but we can’t do any of it until I’m free from this shit inside of me. I need it out before it kills me.
I’ve never wanted to tell anyone anything so much in my life!
“I’m sorry, brother.”
“I need to get out of here.”
“Where the hell are you goin’, it’s your night?”
“I need to do somethin', Tank, and it can't wait.”
I rush away from them only to be grabbed before I get to the door. I’m all set to punch the cunt who grabbed my arm out until I see who it is.
He raises an eyebrow at me with a smirk on his face. I’d never lay a hand on him, no matter what he ever did to me. “Where are you rushing off to, son? This is your night. You’re getting married tomorrow, and your brothers want to spend time with you while you’re still a free man.”
“I need to see Coral, Jack. I have to tell her the truth about my past, why I bear all these scars inside and out. She’s asked me plenty how my back got so scarred, but I’ve never once told her. It’s bad enough that she saw them by accident. I saw the pity in her eyes. She told me everything about herself. How can I marry her when I’m keeping all of this from her?”
He looks at me for a moment before nodding his head. He understands more than anyone gives him credit for. “Just remember, you are not alone, Stryker. You have never been alone. You have a family who loves you,” I swallow hard. Shit like this... I ain’t used to it. I should be, but it’s still hard for me to truly accept it. “Everyone in the MC is your family, but more than that, Taylor and me, we’re your family, son. We love you like you were our own. Always will.”
I shake his hand, can’t bring myself to hug the man just yet. Not that I don’t want to, I just ain’t ready. “I love you, too, old man.”
He chuckles and rolls his eyes at me.
“Go talk to her. Tell her what you have to tell her, then make damn sure you keep your hands off her, save it for tomorrow night.” I laugh loudly. Son of a bitch. “Once you’re done get your ass back here and have a real drink with your brothers.”
“I will.”
I hope Coral doesn’t have a breakdown seeing me when she’s supposed to be having a drink with the girls. I just need half an hour then I’ll be gone. I just hope she understands why I’m doing this right now.
Time to let out what I’ve kept inside me my whole life.
Chapter Twenty
Coral
I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow! To Stryker!”
“I know!” I squeal back in Willow’s direction.
“We’re all so proud of you, darlin’.” I blush in Taylor’s direction.
I’m over at Taylor’s having a few drinks with some of the girls. Taylor, Lynette, Willow, Denise, Ruth, Tammy, and a few others. It’s turned into quite the party. We have plenty of food, plenty of drink, lots of laughs.
I needed this, to let my hair down. It’s been a hectic few weeks organizing our wedding and trying to find the right house to rent. We did find one, a beautiful three-bed place a block from Taylor and BlackJack’s house. I wasn’t sure we needed a home with three bedrooms, but Stryker told me that one day, he’d like for us to start a family, which made me cry with happiness and I hugged him hard.
Stryker said it would be best for us to buy the house instead of renting. Renting is just throwing money away. I knew we couldn’t afford it, I certainly don’t have that kind of money, and banks don’t favor lending that kind of money to a man like Stryker.
However, it was taken out of my hands. The club paid for the house for us, handed us the keys as a wedding present. I cried my eyes out when Shepard told me, ‘You’re like a daughter to me, Coral. You know that. Stryker is a son to BlackJack. We might not be your actual father’s, but as father figures, it was our duty and our pleasure to do this for you both.’
I clung to him for ten whole minutes, thanking him repeatedly for what he and Jack had done for us. We then had all the men decorating the place for us, the women bringing furniture around. Sure, it’s used stuff, but it’s beautiful stuff. We did buy a brand new bed that’s entirely ours, however. A huge one that I can’t wait to try out.
We’ll be moving in as soon as we’re back from California.
My parents are attending the wedding with my sister, but I want to spend the week with them. Okay, not the whole week. Stryker and I may not leave our hotel room for a couple of days. Then I want to take him sightseeing. However, spending a couple of days as a family will do us both good.
“I never thought my boy would open his heart to anyone,” I love how Taylor refers to Stryker as her boy. She’s not old enough to even pretend to be his mother, but I’m sure she sees herself as much older than her thirty-something years.
“It was only a matter of time before the two of them fell for each other. I tried to, you know...” Denise tips her head like we all know what she means, which we do because it’s obvious. “They pushed me on Ice to get me away from them.” She laughs out loud; she’s been so happy since being with Ice. It's nice to see.
“But you wouldn’t change a thing about it.”
“No, Lynette, I wouldn’t. I love that man.” We all look at her as she stares off into space with a dreamy smile on her face. We’re all
smiling at her. I’ve never seen Denise like this before. She’s really in love. I honestly never thought I’d see the day.
“I feel like the odd one out.” Ruth laughs. “I’m the only one not with a biker.”
“I’m not.” Willow laughs.
“You’re not with anyone. Why would a biker want you? Have you seen yourself?” Denise chimes in with a laugh.
Willow lowers her head and bites her lower lip. I don’t understand why this beautiful girl thinks she is anything but. She’s stunning, and the man whom she ends up with will be one very lucky man indeed.
I can see Lynette is seconds away from smacking Denise in the face. Not that I can blame her, Denise just made her daughter feel like shit.
I am so ashamed of my best friend right now. How could she be so cruel?
I reach over and take Willow’s hand in mine. She looks up at me with a smile on her face. Willow is my sister’s best friend, even after all these years, and I hate to see her upset. “You are more beautiful than any woman in this room, Willow. Don’t you ever let anybody make you feel that you aren’t.” Willow is gorgeous. She has curves in all the right places, eyes of the strangest shade of hazel I have ever seen, and a smile that lights up her whole face and makes you feel happy just by being near her. “The man you end up with will be the luckiest man alive, but you don’t have to rush into anything with anyone, you are worth so much, Will.”
“Th-Thank you,”
I wink at her, and she suddenly pulls herself off the floor and hugs me tightly. I hug her back and notice Lynette looking at me over Willow’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she mouths and I smile. She doesn’t need to thank me, but Denise does need to stop making people feel like they’re beneath her.
We sit for a while drinking and laughing about anything and nothing at all. Denise apologized to Willow, which was decent of her. Willow accepted because that’s the kind of girl she is, and nothing more is said about it.