At the next question, Peyton forced a grin onto his face even though jealousy flashed through him at the very thought. “I didn’t ask her because it’s none of my business, but as for me, no. Since I met Raji, there’s been no one for me but her. Yes, even when we were ‘on a break.’ She’s the only woman in the world for me.”
An obvious question.
Peyton tried to spin it because he had no answer. “I’m not entirely sure what my next step is. I know I’m not going back to Killer Valentine. That bridge has burned. For now, I’m getting to know our daughter and settling into life as a husband and father. It’s important to me to do this right. After that, who knows? I’ve been writing music for years, but it wasn’t right for KV. I played a few songs for Xan and Cadell a few months ago, and they agreed. My music is too soft, too gentle. It’s certainly not ‘Rock like Rome Is Burning’ by any stretch of the imagination. KV is Xan Valentine’s project. I need my own project for my music. I’ve learned a lot from watching and listening to Xan about how to run a band and run it right. In a few months, I’ll explore my options. I’m looking forward to it.”
At the last question, Peyton grinned. “Gita Elizabeth Cabot. Gita is a traditional Indian name that means song or music in Sanskrit.”Chapter Fifty-TwoBackRaji chanted to herself, I am a logical lizard person. I am a cold, emotionless, logical lizard person.
Peyton told her, “She will be fine.”
Gita lay in her crib, sleeping. Pink lace surrounded her like she was a cherub in a very pink cloud. Her tiny face, not much bigger than Raji’s fist, was beginning to fill out as she was finally gaining weight.
Raji sobbed, “No, she won’t, and if she’s not, she’ll know that I wasn’t there for her. She’ll know that her mother wasn’t there and she was alone!”
Peyton said, “I have two baby nurses, a housekeeper, and Lupe here with me. Lupe pretty much raised me, and my growth sure wasn’t stunted or anything. We have hot and cold running staff members. We have a chef to make the organic formula. We have every emergency number possible on voice-activated speed dial. You can call in whenever you want. You can watch from the baby monitors stationed all over the house on your cell phone. It will be okay.”
“I don’t want to leave her,” Raji said. “It feels wrong. I can’t do both. I can’t do this.”
Raji’s mother had stayed with them for two weeks but had returned to New Jersey for work. Amma had fretted, insisting that Indian mothers were supposed to stay for six months to help with babies, but she didn’t want to lose her job. Her job was her security that she wouldn’t be taken advantage of ever again, even though Peyton had handed her a credit card that went to their bills and told her to buy a reliable car and a house in a safe neighborhood.
Peyton rested his heavy arm across her shoulders. “Georgie, Andy, and Elfie all said they felt like this. I think a lot of new mothers do.”
Raji whispered, “No else is her mother. No one else can be there for her the way I can, the way I should be.”
Peyton turned Raji away from the crib. “Come on. We don’t want to wake her. She needs her sleep.”
Raji brushed stupid, non-lizardy wetness off her face and leaned against Peyton’s strong chest. Under her cheek, his heart beat calmly. “I shouldn’t go anywhere. I should stay right here.”
Peyton’s low voice soothed her. “Walk away.”
“Okay, but I shouldn’t do this. I should stay.”
“And do what? Sleep on the floor of her room in case she wakes up when she’s had enough sleep? We’ve never done that. Keep walking.”
Raji let him lead her through their new home, a small mansion in the hills. He had bought it, closed on it because they didn’t need a mortgage with Peyton’s trust fund, purchased the necessary furniture, and arranged the move while Raji had been recovering. One day, the three of them had left her apartment, eaten a languid lunch that Gita slept through, and then gone to their new house, where the essential bedroom and baby furniture had been packed up from her place and installed in the new house during the four hours they had been gone.
He had also hired a driver to take Raji to and from work.
She had fully intended to nap in the back seat during the commute.
But now, how could she leave that poor, defenseless, tiny reptile larvae who obviously needed her mother? “I can’t!”
“Come on.” He turned and looked Raji right in her eyes. His teal-blue eyes were serious, and his voice was low. “It’s time for you to go back to your residency.”