A Billionaire for Christmas

I want to kill someone. Mostly someone called Fingers.

Emma lets me lead her back into the hangar office without comment. But once we’re inside and I finally look at her, she’s pouting.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m sorry. It’s been a great day. It really has. But…”

“But we wanted to get married. That was the whole point. And if you didn’t get to say ‘I do,’ then we didn’t really accomplish that, did we?”

“No,” I say, feeling defeated. “And where the hell is Jessica? Wasn’t she supposed to go find our charter? We should just go home.”

Emma looks around. “She never came back, I guess.”

“Big surprise there. So far we’ve been handed off after each fuckup. I wonder who will pop up now?”

“Maybe no one,” Emma says, pulling off her jumpsuit.

I take mine off too, and then reluctantly put my pirate clothes back on.

Emma is in the middle of doing the same with her dress when she points to me and snaps her fingers. “You know what?”

“What?”

“Who cares about the charter? We have a jet here. Right here!” She points to the ground. “Somewhere, in one of these hangars, is my Bright Berry Beach jet.”

For a moment I allow myself to get lost in the thought of finding that jet. I get lost in the idea of changing into new clothes—surely Miles comes prepared with clothes? And if not, there has to be some silk pajamas hidden somewhere on board. Beats the hell out of pirate pants and puffy shirts.

“But we can’t go home. Not without Christopher. And I’m sure he and Miles are busy with the poker tournament by now.”

“I don’t even care if we go home,” Emma says. “I just want to climb aboard my jet and relax. I’m freaking exhausted!”

“Me too.”

“Let’s just find it and wait for Christopher and Miles to come back.”

“We’re gonna miss Christmas, Emma.”

She shrugs. “I don’t care. I mean, I do care. That totally sucks because I had the best present for you. But I literally have no fucks left to give today. I’m ready for a nap. Let’s find the jet and take a nap.” Then she waggles her eyebrows at me.

“Ahhh,” I say, my spirits lifting. “A nap.”

She giggles. “I know this whole day has been one disaster after another, but it was still fun, right? Even if we’re not even married yet.” Then her whole face goes serious. “You know what? I would not put it past my mother to call up Fingers and boss him into ruining all our weddings just so she could get her way. In fact, I bet that stupid Kraken Karen went right over to my parents’ house after we ditched her and told her that we stole her Door Dash.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? Is it, really? You’ve seen my mother in action. She’s an unstoppable force. I would not put it past her to somehow figure out we eloped to Vegas and then boss everyone in the family into fucking it all up.”

“Emma,” I say, trying not to laugh. “That’s crazy. None of this is about your mother. It’s all… Miles.”

She sucks in a deep breath. “For the last time, Miles is not Mob!”

“Fine, fine.” I put up my hands in surrender. “If you say so. But I’m really on board with just finding the jet and staying put until we can get a hold of Miles. That’s a solid plan if you ask me.”

“Good. I don’t think I could handle another wedding.”

“We’re all out of weddings, babe. Our Pick Three is done.”

We finish getting dressed and we’re just about to walk back out into Sven’s office when I point to the bathroom. “You might want to check your makeup, Ems. The wind kinda messed it up.”

“Oh, fuck it. I don’t care. It can wait until we get to the jet.”

As soon as we exit the dressing room Sven is on his feet with hands in the air. “I’m really sorry about the glitch up in the air. We’d like to make it up to you. No charge for this package. It’s on us. I’ve already called up Fingers and told him about the mix-up. He’s sending Vinnie over right now to make things right and get you another wedding set up pronto.”

“Forget it,” I say. “We’re done. We’ve got our own jet somewhere in this airport. We’re heading over there to wait for our pilot to show up.”

“But… Vinnie!” Sven calls after us.

We ignore him.

I hold the office door open for Emma and we saunter out to go find the Bright Berry Beach jet.It takes a good while to find our way over to the charter area where they schedule flights in and out for private jets. And even though I know damn well that Jessica chick never came over here to find our charter, I keep my eyes peeled for her anyway. I’m really not in the mood to deal with the minions of Fingers. I just want to board Emma’s plane, relax in a soft leather chair, take a nap in the jet bedroom, and hopefully fuck my future wife.