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“Answer me,” Axel commanded in a much firmer tone. He thrust his finger deeper, punishing my silence.

“Desire!” I whispered between my gasps.

“Good. How does it make you feel mentally?” Axel asked while pressing his finger the remainder of the way into my ass.

I shook my head again, hiding my blushing face against his chest. I didn’t know how to voice the emotion. Kinky? Controlled? Mastered? Whatever it was, it was like nothing I had ever experienced. The presence of his finger had such a grasp of my internal struggles. My wall crumbled more with every second his finger possessed me. I wanted to just release and let go. Allow the feelings to rush through me. And yet something in me kept trying to fight them away.

“Quinn. Not answering me when I ask warrants discipline. Am I going to have to give you a spanking? Or maybe I should punish you like this.” Axel began to pump his finger in and out. His action was not sensual or seductive like before, but replaced with firm and direct thrusts. The pace resembled an aggressive ass fucking, but it was still a seductive and an intimate act. I wanted to plead for more, and at the same time, I wanted to beg for him to stop.

Axel pressed his finger to the hilt and used the force to push me even closer to his body. He pressed hard against my inner depths. My gasp turned to a moan.

“I know this might be hard. Hard to let go and allow yourself to enjoy such a taboo act. I want you to relax and allow the sensation,” Axel coaxed. He kissed me lightly on the head as he slowly removed his finger, only to press it forward, past the tight ring, once more. “I’ll ask again. Does this make you feel dirty?”

Without pause, I answered, “Yes. But I like it.”

Yes, it did make me feel like a dirty, dirty girl. That was the only word that seemed to fit the rush of emotions coursing through me. I felt safe, protected, loved. I also felt seductive and nasty. But then the realization hit me. I felt sexy, womanly. And Axel was masculine and dominant. Everything felt so fucking hot, and so very right.

He slowly removed his finger, leaving me with a sense of emptiness. He then swatted me on the ass twice before pulling me closer into his strong embrace. With his arms wrapped tightly around me, I closed my eyes and relished the dynamic Axel had created.

“Are you all right, sweetheart? That was a pretty intense thing we just did,” Axel asked as he squeezed me even tighter. “A small taste of some kinky for you.” He chuckled lightly.

I nodded my head. “I had no idea… I didn’t know.” I pulled away enough so I could look into his eyes. “Why have I never tried that before? It made me want you even more.”

Axel smiled before softly kissing my lips. “I like the way you think.” Axel paused and took a moment to just look at me. “I need you to always trust that I have your and our best interests in mind. I will never abuse this.”

“I trust you with my life, Axel. I’m scared, and I’m nervous. But I’m also excited for our future.” I gave a sinful smile and added, “And I like kinky.”

CHAPTER TEN

FUCKING WHACK JOB

AXEL

BY THE NEXT EVENING, everything returned to normal with Quinn. The drama from the night before seemed to have dissipated, but I knew the issue with Jillian would still be an ongoing problem unless I did something about it. So, when I saw Jillian standing by the bar where we all hung out that night, I figured it was as good a time as any to take care of this once and for all.

Jillian’s eyes brightened, and she stood up anxiously when she saw me approach. “Hi, sexy.” She smiled seductively at me, tossing her hair back. “I haven’t seen you around without that little leech hanging on your arm all the time. It’s refreshing to see you alone for a change.”

I clenched my teeth, trying to ignore the comment. “We need to talk.”

“Of course. We have so much to catch up on. I’ve missed you.”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Jillian. It needs to stop.”

Her smile dissolved. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do,” I snapped. “Stop acting like you and I have something.”

She stared straight into my eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“You purposely try to pose in every picture with me. Or you try to stand by me like we’re a couple at all the events.” My jaw tightened. “I’m tired of it.”

She shifted her weight and avoided my eyes. “Is this you talking? Or your needy little girlfriend?”

“It’s getting old.”

“You never complained before.”

“Well, things are different now.”

I could see the rage in her eyes. Knowing how much she loved attention, I worried she would make a scene just for some added publicity. I heard the venom in Jillian’s words clearly. “You didn’t answer me. Is this your girlfriend being a jealous bitch?”

I wasn’t about to give her the pleasure. “To be honest, she’s never mentioned you. Believe it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around you, Jillian.”

Jillian laughed, attempting to sound sarcastic, but failed. She slammed her drink on the bar, spilling the liquid all over. She glared at me, lip quivering. “You think I need you? If you haven’t noticed, I’m doing just fine on my own.” She lifted her arms and motioned at the bar around her. “I get invited to just as many of these gigs as you. And I have men begging for me to even give them the littlest time of day. And you aren’t the only dealer in town you know.”

“I’m happy for you. It’s what you wanted to begin with. You’ve always been an attention whore.”

“This is how you treat me, Axel? Have you forgotten everything we once shared?” Jillian screeched. She took a moment to regain her composure and smooth down her wild hair.

“That short-lived relationship is over,” I replied, never releasing her from my glare.

Jillian returned the stare with her bloodshot eyes. She was clearly coming off a high from the night before. “You want the fame. You want the connections I have and you damn well know it.”

“No, I’m fucking over that shit.”

Jillian casually crossed her arms against her chest and gave an alluring grin. “So you say. You are a damn junkie, Axel. Not just for the drugs but for the fame. Deny it all you want.” Jillian took a long pause as she scanned her eyes along the full length of my body. “You may be sexy as hell, but you are no better than a crack head begging for change on the street. You need me around.”

My jaw locked, and I knew my expression grew fierce. “Jillian, you have a dark ass soul. You are so ugly on the inside that it’s starting to seep out your pores. I want nothing to do with you. Please face that fact.”

“Face what? The fact that you will never find this fantasy of a perfect woman? You’re crazy to think that this no name suburban Barbie is the girl for you. We were good together, Axel. Power, control, ecstasy—our sexual need was always met… in all ways. Is this the life you want to leave for some unrealistic expectations? You want to run off and play house?” Jillian took a few steps closer toward me. “You can’t possibly think that bartender is the woman of your dreams? Unless your dream is to end up bald, fat, and stuck with two kids in a three-bedroom house that threatens to swallow you whole. You don’t want the misery of settling down and you know it.”

I clenched my teeth, holding all my fury within. Her voice grated on my nerves.

Jillian smiled. “She’s fascinated with your fame and your sexual reputation. The bad boy, drug dealing, son of a rock star.” Jillian released a soft but evil laugh. “She just wants to use you like every other fucking female in your life.”

“What I do from now on is none of your concern. I’ve asked you to back off and leave me alone. I will not ask again.”

“Go to hell, Axel!” She began to storm off. After only a few steps, she stopped and turned around. “And don’t flatter yourself. You don’t have to worry about me speaking to you ever again.”

“Thank you.”

With that, Jillian s

pun around and walked away in a huff. All things considered, it had gone a lot better than I had hoped. I walked out of the bar feeling as if an enormous weight had been taken off my shoulders. I desperately hoped my problems with Jillian were over.

AXEL

I LOOKED FORWARD to the photo shoot for a new, local social magazine. It was supposed to be a “What’s Hot in LA” type of rag. I hadn’t hung out with the guys alone in a while. I needed some good, quality bro time, and this gave us an opportunity to do so without the club lights and loud music. We took photos, laughed, and goofed around. Even though the shoot was technically work, we always made things fun.

I had just finished the last shot with Knox and Teddy when I saw Jillian rush toward me, looking very determined.

“Can I talk to you?” she asked.

“What happened to you never talking to me again?”

“Axel, this is serious.”

I walked over to the makeup table to remove the pound of cosmetics on my face. “Go ahead.”

“I mean alone.” She glanced at Knox and Teddy. They both turned to me as I shrugged.

“We’ll be over here.” Knox pointed. They didn’t go too far, choosing to sit at a table nearby.

“How dare you dismiss me just like that?” Jillian crossed her arms and stood in front of me, forcing me to stop. “As if I never meant anything to you.”