Best of 2017

Quinn’s head shot up and she punched me playfully on the arm. “Hey, you can’t put this on me. I’m not tired.”

I smiled. “Fine. I’m tired.”

Quinn laughed, and I couldn’t help laugh with her. Her melodic giggle always melted my insides. Teddy was right. I was pussy whipped.

“Let me get our stuff and we can go,” she said as she kissed my cheek. Turning toward the guys she added, “I better get Axel to bed… he’s tired.” With a giggle, Quinn walked off.

My perfect and jovial mood was soon cut short.

“Hi, Axel.” The familiar voice I had grown to hate loomed behind me.

I was quiet for a second, hoping she would go away. “Jillian.”

Jillian walked around so she faced me directly. “It’s been a long time.”

“What do you want?” I didn’t want to be mean, but the last thing I wanted was any unnecessary drama with Quinn. Even talking to Jillian encouraged her enough.

“I’m not going to say I told you so, or try to make you feel worse, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just want you to know I’m here for you. I’ve always been here for you.”

I sighed impatiently. I had no idea what she was talking about and didn’t even feel like asking.

“Jillian, I’m not in the mood for your games. I’m done working right now, so I’m leaving.”

“Axel, no matter what, we used to be friends. You’re still a friend in my eyes. I don’t know how Quinn could do that to you, but I know you were really blinded by her. So if you need someone to talk to now, I’ll always be someone you can count on.”

She wasn’t making any sense. The possibility of her being high or drunk was a likely scenario, so I had no desire to continue the conversation. “Whatever. I’m going to go find Quinn.” I turned and walked away, leaving Jillian with Knox and Teddy.

No sooner had I started to walk away that I heard Knox call after me.

“Axel, can you come back here for a second?” Knox asked.

“I’ve got to go.”

“No fucking way!” I heard Teddy confronting Jillian. “You’re just trying to stir the shit.”

“I’m not making this up. Go ahead and ask her. Ask Quinn for yourself,” Jillian defended.

I walked back toward them, annoyed. “Ask Quinn what?”

“Jillian says that Quinn is shopping a tell-all book,” Knox blurted out.

“Jillian, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Get your facts straight before you start spreading rumors.”

“Oh, so you’re aware that she’s writing a book? That she’s here to get insider information? To sell you out?” Jillian asked with a smirk.

“Shut the fuck up, Jillian,” Teddy shouted. “You’re such a bitch.”

“Fuck off, Teddy. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not the slut who’s using Axel for a big paycheck.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

Knox piped in, “Just ignore her.”

I was undaunted. “Well? Where did you get these facts?” I stood there smiling, arms crossed against my chest. A part of me enjoyed seeing how mad Jillian was getting.

Jillian shrugged. “Whatever. I was just trying to be nice. Believe me or not, but if I were you, I’d ask that little lying fake yourself.”

“Just leave us alone,” Teddy ordered.

Jillian nodded toward the direction of Quinn, who was walking back toward the group. “She’s using you, Axel. Using you for all your connections and your name. She fucks you, whores herself out, and surprise, surprise, now she’s on a cover of a magazine. I bet she’ll use it for the cover of her new book. Maybe she’ll call the book I Fucked Axel Rye. You’re a fool if you thought this was about love.”

I stood still, frozen by the biting words. I knew it couldn’t be, but Jillian’s words still hurt like hell. I took in what I’d just heard, then shook my head and viciously attacked. “There’s only one whore in this room, Jillian.”

“Let’s just ask Quinn and end this shit right now,” Teddy interrupted.

“Ask me what?” Quinn asked as she walked up and reached for my hand.

This whole conversation was absurd. There was no way Quinn could secretly be using me. I trusted her. I just hoped that Quinn didn’t get upset by Jillian’s accusations.

“Why don’t you tell everyone how you’re a deceiving, lying, filthy whore?” Jillian snapped.

“Shut your mouth!” I yelled, a red haze of anger nearly blinding me. I didn’t like anyone talking to my girl like that.

“What? What the hell is going on?” Quinn looked confused and stunned by the nasty claim.

“Jillian, get your ass out of our faces before one of us removes you,” Knox yelled.

Jillian took a couple of steps back. “Tell them all about the book. It seems your filthy, cock-licking mouth has been caught.”

I lunged for Jillian only to have Knox step between us. “Get out of here, now!” My voice vibrated throughout the room. Fury coursed through my veins.

Jillian spun on her heels in a huff to leave and then suddenly stopped. She turned and spoke over her shoulder. “I find it ironic, Axel, that you are the all-famous playboy, bad boy, and yet you’re taking it up the ass a lot lately. How’s the ass fucking feel?” She smirked and quickly glided away, leaving her path of destruction behind her.

I turned toward Quinn and saw her startled eyes. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and apologize for hours for having to witness that. Jillian was out of control.

“I’m so sorry, Quinn. I’ll make sure that bitch never comes near us again.” I wrapped my arms around Quinn and felt her body tense. She didn’t return the embrace.

“Axel, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you this a long time ago.”

My heart sank. A long time ago?

Quinn’s beautiful smile and excited eyes had changed to a sullen expression. All I saw in them was fear… or was it guilt? It felt unreal, like some kind of nightmare. I searched her eyes for answers. Desperately searching for clarification. Reassurance that Jillian was full of shit. I searched for… hope. For a second, I thought I was going to be sick. My breath caught. This couldn’t be happening.

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” Quinn started. “I’m a writer, you know that. I did come here to work on a book. But I swear I’m not using you… not now.”

My ears rang. I stood there, heart hammering. I took a few steps back. “You told me you’re a writer. Tell me you aren’t shopping a book on me.” I stared at her, hoping I had heard wrong.

“On the LA nightlife,

” she said. “I meant to tell you from the very beginning, but we started to get close, and I didn’t want to lose you, and I…”

Quinn’s words echoed against the walls of my ears. Every word was like a punch to the gut. I wanted to vomit. All this time, Quinn had been using me like everyone else always did. I shook my head in disbelief and backed away even further.

“Axel, please.” Unshed tears rimmed Quinn’s eyes, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t comfort the woman I loved. I couldn’t reach out and dry the tears. I couldn’t give… love.

Quinn stepped closer to me, attempting to reach for my hand. I recoiled, not wanting her to take another step. Teddy and Knox stood to the side, speechless. As the reality of it settled in, the shock and pain turned to anger.

“So, did you get all the information you needed?” My voice shook with every word. “Plenty of material gathered through your escapade with me?”

Quinn shook her head, tears coursing down her face. “Axel, please, you don’t understand. Let me—”

“So, what the hell was I to you? I didn’t think you were using me. I honestly thought you loved me.”

“I do love you! I lied, but I swear to you that everything between us was genuine. I’m a writer, but I never intended to write something negative. Please, let me explain.”

“I trusted you, Quinn. I gave you my whole heart. I had no idea you would do this to me.”

I stormed away, fighting back tears, vomit, and fury. I needed to flee fast. I didn’t want Quinn to see just how intensely she affected me. Those days were over.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Quinn rushing toward me. I didn’t need to hear anymore. Whatever she had to say didn’t matter. It was all lies. Everything was a lie.

“Axel,” she said. “Hear me out, please.”

“There’s nothing to say, Quinn.” I stopped and glared. “Unless you can tell me you didn’t move here to write a book using my name. That you haven’t actually been lying to me on a daily basis. Can you say that, Quinn?”

“It was my original intent. Yes. But that changed. I kept quiet at first about the fact because I knew you all wouldn’t allow me in. Yes, I lied and I was stupid. But I was telling the truth when I told you that I loved you.”