Best of 2017

Me: I have to know her.

Bull: Violet is leaving in two weeks, man. You don’t have to know her. Just forget about her.

Her sweet scent lingers in the air, and I’m already craving to see her again.

Me: That’s impossible. You know this.

Bull: Not saying I like it but I have your back. At least come to the house and have dinner with Sadie and I. Joshua misses his uncle.

He’s trying to distract me. There’s no point.

Me: Give the family my love. I’ll see you Monday. I have some work to do.

Bull: Try not to get arrested.

At this, I smirk.

Me: Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had to bail me out.

I’m still smirking but it quickly turns into a scowl. Bull has always had to look after me in some way. The day when shit went south with those Saudi Arabians, he saved my life and pulled my unconscious body to safety. My thoughts drift into the darkness.

“WANT TO WATCH MTV?” the peppy nurse questions. “Music videos all the time. Can you believe it? The hospital finally got cable. I’ve never had cable before so the only time I get to watch is while I’m at work.”

I drag my gaze from the book I’m reading to glare at her. “I’m reading. Go away.”

She laughs at me and strolls into the room anyway. Last nurse that came in, I had her close the blinds. This fucking woman yanks on the cord to allow the sun to stream in. I squint against it and toss my book to the floor.

“Close the goddamned blinds,” I snap.

Nurse Fucking Annoying ignores me and flips through her chart, humming some semi-familiar song I’m sure she heard on her beloved MTV. “Looks like it’s time to change your dressings.”

I wince because I fucking hate this. Not only is it painful as hell but it’s also a stark reminder of everything that went wrong. “Fine. But don’t be so damn eager.”

“I do love to see a man howl in pain,” she teases. “But I’ll tamper it down just for you. Sound good, big boy?”

I flip her off and bury my face into the pillow. But when I close my eyes, I think of her. Adara. Her wide, innocent brown eyes. The way she stood at the exact moment I pulled that trigger. She was supposed to stay seated. Everything revolved around her remaining in her seat. The wound would have hurt, but she’d have lived. It was meant to be a simple graze—a distraction. If only she’d have stayed in her goddamned chair. That one small variable was the catalyst for everything that went wrong.

Nurse Fucking Annoying Giggling Sadist happily spends the next hour removing the soiled dressings on my back, buttocks, and legs. I black out a couple of times from the pain. When I come to, she ruffles my hair. “Need a little something for the pain, soldier?”

I grunt and soon something cold enters my vein. At least Nurse Fucking Annoying Giggling Sadist puts me out of my misery for a couple of hours. But despite my drug-induced haze, I can’t ever seem to shake the image of those brown eyes, belonging to the teen I so brutally shot. It was an error. I don’t make errors. But that day, I did.

I’ll never make a mistake like that again.

CHAPTER SEVEN

VIOLET

BEFORE HEADING to the farmer’s market, I stop by my apartment and change into something more comfortable. I’m still shaking with fury. How dare he suddenly become so damn nosy about my life! I’ve worked hard to keep certain things to myself. And now, I feel like he’s prying into something that needs to remain shut. If he pulls open the parts of my past I keep contained, I’ll lose my mind.

I don’t want to remember the years I spent with Vaughn.

I don’t want to recall how he went from possessive boyfriend, to monster, to my worst nightmare. I don’t want to think about the things he made me do. Things that still embarrass and horrify me. Things that would tear apart everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve if they ever got out.

Hot, furious tears are spilling from my eyes. I hastily swipe them away as I leave to do my weekly shopping. Gray, my stupid boss, has grabbed my now normal life and given it a hard shake. I don’t like that he’s rattled some memories inside me that I prefer to keep hidden.

In an effort to block his annoyingly handsome face from my mind, I think about my new job. I’m eager to learn something different. On the way to the market, I pass by the post office where my PO box is located. I check it but don’t find any correspondence. That both hurts me and relieves me. The last few cards I sent, I foolishly included my PO box address. I pull the sealed envelope that holds ten crisp one hundred dollar bills inside a funny card out of my purse and slip it into the outgoing box.

Just once I’d like to receive a letter back. To be acknowledged. But that would invite problems. Problems I don’t need, no matter how much my heart aches.

The walk to the market is cold. I doubt we’ll have snow, but it looks like a chilly rain is imminent. I’ll need to hurry with my shopping today.

Normally, I spend several hours at the market as I take my time and enjoy the day. But today, I’m too wound up. My tension is like the cold wintery rain that will most likely hit before I make it back to my place. Whipping all around me and stressing me out. I grunt all the way back to my building with my haul.

It’s times like these when I wish I had actual friends. People I could chat with and talk about my day. A girlfriend to groan to about my annoying boss, my terrible drunk night with my future boss, the fear my psycho ex will hunt me down, and all of the other awful things in my life.

Unfortunately, I don’t.

The moment I feel the first drop of cold rain on my forehead, a shudder of defeat ripples through me. In this big bad world, I’m all alone. By nature, I’m not normally a crier. But today, I let it go. I sob as I run three long blocks through the soaking rain with my arms full of groceries. My teeth are chattering by the time I reach my building. Out front sits a shiny white Range Rover that seems to sparkle in the pouring rain. I suddenly wish I owned a car. I suddenly wish I lived somewhere with a garage, reliable heating, and tenants who aren’t drug dealers.

I stomp through the puddles and seek refuge in the dilapidated building. Gray was right. I live in the ghetto. This place is all I can afford by the time I send away most of my wages. It’s sad. My entire life is just pathetic.

Eventually, I make it up to the third floor but I’m exhausted and soaked to the bone. So when I see a familiar face, I’m too tired to fight. In some stupid way, I feel a sense of relief.

“What are you doing here?” I mumble as I rummage through my purse for my keys.

Gray frowns at me. He’s holding a folder tucked under one arm and a dripping umbrella in his other. The man still looks every bit as sexy as he did at breakfast. Too bad he’s such an asshole. “Can we talk a minute?”

Letting out a sigh, I unlock my door and gesture for him to come in. My place instantly smells like him. Clean and masculine. A hint of cinnamon.

Once inside, I make a beeline for the kitchen to drop my bags. He follows me into the small space making it seem even smaller with his imposing presence.

“Let me unload those while you take a hot shower and change. You’re turning purple, Violet.” At his silly pun, he smiles. The man is ridiculously good looking and it makes me angry. I hate that I react so easily to him. My stupid heart patters away in my chest just from the way he looks at me. As if he’d like to lick away every droplet of the rain. I suppress a whine because that sounds a lot better than I want it to.

“Thanks. I’ll be back in ten minutes. Don’t steal anything,” I threaten.

He chuckles as he starts unloading the bag. “I wouldn’t dare.”

Eighteen minutes later, I’m dressed in a warm hoodie and a pair of yoga pants. My slippers cover my frozen toes and I’ve pulled my wet hair into a messy bun to keep it off my neck. When I enter the living room, Gray is sitting in the middle of the only piece of furniture I own as he sips on some coffee. He looks like he belongs here. Like this is his place. The thought i

rritates me.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you?” I grumble.

He winks at me and points to a steaming mug on the coffee table. Swallowing down my irritation, I sit down next to the big man with the intense gaze and take his peace offering. The coffee tastes good. I’d expected it to be the way he likes it. One cream. Two sugars. A bit of cinnamon. But it’s the way I like it. Black with a hint of sugar.

“How did you know—”

He cuts me off. “I need your help.”

My brows shoot up. “This is work related?”

His fingers run through his dark hair, messing up the gel, and a lock falls down over his eyebrow. It gives him a boyish quality, despite his age. I know he’s at least fifteen years older than me. Vaughn was much older too. I shudder at that thought.

“I wanted you to take a look at this property. Tell me what you think,” he says, his voice gruff as he scratches at his jawline. I’m mesmerized by the way his long finger absently scrapes along the hair that’s just beginning to grow in there.

He hands me the file, and I blink away my daze. “This is the Collins property. I thought you already acquired it yesterday.”

He nods but his brows pinch together. “I did. It’s a resort a little up north. Do you think it was a good purchase?”

I feel like this is a trick question. Or maybe he’s just toying with me. Either way, I don’t like how he suddenly feels the need to include me in on business. Maybe it’s about Mr. Collins. What if he’s here to gripe at me for pushing the old man into selling?